At the REEE offices...

Music posts are a bannable offense.
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jakebonz
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Ah, I see our new graphic design expert is here!
Introvert
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Toxicarius wrote:If I may interrupt the frivolity for a moment, I have a serious question for the jigadeers of this company: What, exactly, are we supposed to do here at REEE? I've been a part of this workforce for years now, and quite frankly, no one ever explained my duties to me. I just while away my days here screwing around on the internets and listening to musicks, without a scrap of work ever once crossing my desk. I'm not complaining, mind you... I like raking in this handsome salary for doing whatever the hell I want, but I hate having to bullshit people who ask me what I do for a living. :?
Let me just say that you are doing your job just fine. Keep up the good work!!

(Reminder about Sexual Harassment Training tomorrow!)
Friendly Goatus wrote:and stop being a dick to your cat
John Jr.
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we get training on how to sexually harass?

now this is a company i can get behind.
"FUCK YES MORE LAWS RIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME! LAW LAW LAW!" - Geeheeb
"OH I FORGOT, MORE JAILS TOO RIGHT NOW! FUCK YEAH JAIL JAIL JAIL!" - Geeheeb

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Pyrite Medal of Ignorance

John Jr. wrote:
now this is a company i can get behind.

[leans in behind thorr really close while using a deep whisper]

Not if it gets behind you first...
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The Torsion
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Ohh fuck yeah
Haha,
doomeddisciple
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Memoranda:

All new female employee's are to be called "toots" in lieu of some kind of revelation at an embarassing sexual encounter in their past or at their welcome after works drinks.

All young male employees are to report if their female supervisor if at the very least doesn't offer to drive you home or suggest you "work back late" with a knowing glance over her bi-focals.

HR
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The Torsion
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When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings. Taped up steel toed boots and coveralls are all I have to wear. I was a loading dock foreman until a few weeks ago. :(
Haha,
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The Torsion wrote:When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings. Taped up steel toed boots and coveralls are all I have to wear. I was a loading dock foreman until a few weeks ago. :(
Guess who the first special guest speaker is at tomorrow's Sexual Harassment Training?!?
Friendly Goatus wrote:and stop being a dick to your cat
doomeddisciple
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The Torsion wrote:When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings. Taped up steel toed boots and coveralls are all I have to wear. I was a loading dock foreman until a few weeks ago. :(
And now you are the Lead Dispatch Coordinator.

As part of your sexual harrassment training, ask Hell-Haine or another female to help you go "work clothes shopping" at lunch.
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doomeddisciple wrote:As part of your sexual harrassment training, ask Hell-Haine or another female to help you go "work clothes shopping" at lunch.
I helped Klink do some clothes shopping when he was here. Does that mean I can't sexually harass the women now??

Ohhh, we had lunch too!! :confused:
Friendly Goatus wrote:and stop being a dick to your cat
pleasuretokill
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The Torsion wrote:When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings.
How the hell did this guy make it through the hiring process???
"Did your parents put and Atari 2600 in a gold box and wrap it with Genesis paper to fuck with you?" - Pieclun
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doomeddisciple
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Introvert wrote:
doomeddisciple wrote:As part of your sexual harrassment training, ask Hell-Haine or another female to help you go "work clothes shopping" at lunch.
I helped Klink do some clothes shopping when he was here. Does that mean I can't sexually harass the women now??

Ohhh, we had lunch too!! :confused:
Did you spend any of that time oogling?
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pleasuretokill wrote:
The Torsion wrote:When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings.
How the hell did this guy make it through the hiring process???
MDF made him soft.
Friendly Goatus wrote:and stop being a dick to your cat
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doomeddisciple wrote:
Introvert wrote:
doomeddisciple wrote:As part of your sexual harrassment training, ask Hell-Haine or another female to help you go "work clothes shopping" at lunch.
I helped Klink do some clothes shopping when he was here. Does that mean I can't sexually harass the women now??

Ohhh, we had lunch too!! :confused:
Did you spend any of that time oogling?
No, was much too tuckered out the whole time to peek. I didn't even give the old lady a snooker while he was here.

(Oh shit, that makes it sound even worse!)
Friendly Goatus wrote:and stop being a dick to your cat
Ghost Dad
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10 pages, huh?
hipster holocaust wrote: What do you think they're doing up there right now? A smiling SLH listening to MLK's juicy wife cheating stories while Maya takes notes?
doomeddisciple
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Introvert wrote:
No, was much too tuckered out the whole time to peek. I didn't even give the old lady a snooker while he was here.

(Oh shit, that makes it sound even worse!)
Hmmmmm.

I don't want you to think its affecting your mid year review, but I will need to send you on another course before HR can place the pass on your file.

That or you can invite some of your sweaty's family over to stay for the weekend and have some non-vanilla sex while they stay in the house, that would also suffice.
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riley-o
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jakebonz wrote:Ah, I see our new graphic design expert is here!
it was actually a piece i commissioned from wormhole generator. he was off the clock at the time so i had to pay him from petty cash. i also took some of that as payment for the idea. and then some more to buy lunch.
HEAD BOPPAZ RECORDS YOU BITCH-ASS HOES
doomeddisciple
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riley-o wrote:
jakebonz wrote:Ah, I see our new graphic design expert is here!
it was actually a piece i commissioned from wormhole generator. he was off the clock at the time so i had to pay him from petty cash. i also took some of that as payment for the idea. and then some more to buy lunch.

So you're the CFO? A pleasure to meet you!
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Tony Twist
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jakebonz@work
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Image
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Wehttam
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So....when does training start? I'll try to stay awake today. I'm not missing this training.
pleasuretokill
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I love casual fridays! Going to the bathroom right at your desk is soooo convenient.... The clean-up kind of suck s, but it's totally worth it.
"Did your parents put and Atari 2600 in a gold box and wrap it with Genesis paper to fuck with you?" - Pieclun
"theres a new Camo stronger than black ice, its better tasting than all the rest. its 12.5% and tastes sorta like cream soda mixed with piss. i like it!" - ghost boner
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Geeheeb
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INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY DEPT. MEMO:

(Confidential - for internal Reeelapse IT use only)

In an effort to save valuable resources, we are preparing to roll back all employees to Windows 95 (its the only install disc I can find right now). This should dramatically increase two things:

1. RESULTS
2. SECURITY

I have torrented a copy of Windows 95 for dummies that should finish over the weekend. I will print it out single sided and get it to someone with less than 5000 posts to drill and bind.

Here is a screencast I recorded to demonstrate the power of Windows 95:

FVBTVS wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pmfrom enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
jakebonz@work
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Oh, good, the IT nerd with all of that boneheaded computer bullshit.

Can I get some ports opened up on my machine? My uTorrent is moving slow as hell and it's taking forever to download this Blu-ray rip of Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge.
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Wehttam
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what the hell is the rest of The Company using? I'm still on DOS.
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