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Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 7:57 pm
by jakebonz
Ah, I see our new graphic design expert is here!

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 7:58 pm
by Introvert
Toxicarius wrote:If I may interrupt the frivolity for a moment, I have a serious question for the jigadeers of this company: What, exactly, are we supposed to do here at REEE? I've been a part of this workforce for years now, and quite frankly, no one ever explained my duties to me. I just while away my days here screwing around on the internets and listening to musicks, without a scrap of work ever once crossing my desk. I'm not complaining, mind you... I like raking in this handsome salary for doing whatever the hell I want, but I hate having to bullshit people who ask me what I do for a living. :?
Let me just say that you are doing your job just fine. Keep up the good work!!

(Reminder about Sexual Harassment Training tomorrow!)

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:15 pm
by John Jr.
we get training on how to sexually harass?

now this is a company i can get behind.

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:22 pm
by Pyrite Medal of Ignorance
John Jr. wrote:
now this is a company i can get behind.

[leans in behind thorr really close while using a deep whisper]

Not if it gets behind you first...

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:23 pm
by The Torsion
Ohh fuck yeah

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:16 pm
by doomeddisciple
Memoranda:

All new female employee's are to be called "toots" in lieu of some kind of revelation at an embarassing sexual encounter in their past or at their welcome after works drinks.

All young male employees are to report if their female supervisor if at the very least doesn't offer to drive you home or suggest you "work back late" with a knowing glance over her bi-focals.

HR

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:31 pm
by The Torsion
When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings. Taped up steel toed boots and coveralls are all I have to wear. I was a loading dock foreman until a few weeks ago. :(

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:34 pm
by Introvert
The Torsion wrote:When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings. Taped up steel toed boots and coveralls are all I have to wear. I was a loading dock foreman until a few weeks ago. :(
Guess who the first special guest speaker is at tomorrow's Sexual Harassment Training?!?

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:38 pm
by doomeddisciple
The Torsion wrote:When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings. Taped up steel toed boots and coveralls are all I have to wear. I was a loading dock foreman until a few weeks ago. :(
And now you are the Lead Dispatch Coordinator.

As part of your sexual harrassment training, ask Hell-Haine or another female to help you go "work clothes shopping" at lunch.

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:41 pm
by Introvert
doomeddisciple wrote:As part of your sexual harrassment training, ask Hell-Haine or another female to help you go "work clothes shopping" at lunch.
I helped Klink do some clothes shopping when he was here. Does that mean I can't sexually harass the women now??

Ohhh, we had lunch too!! :confused:

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:41 pm
by pleasuretokill
The Torsion wrote:When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings.
How the hell did this guy make it through the hiring process???

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:42 pm
by doomeddisciple
Introvert wrote:
doomeddisciple wrote:As part of your sexual harrassment training, ask Hell-Haine or another female to help you go "work clothes shopping" at lunch.
I helped Klink do some clothes shopping when he was here. Does that mean I can't sexually harass the women now??

Ohhh, we had lunch too!! :confused:
Did you spend any of that time oogling?

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:43 pm
by Introvert
pleasuretokill wrote:
The Torsion wrote:When Hell-Haine comes in drunk and makes fun of my clothes it really hurts my feelings.
How the hell did this guy make it through the hiring process???
MDF made him soft.

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:45 pm
by Introvert
doomeddisciple wrote:
Introvert wrote:
doomeddisciple wrote:As part of your sexual harrassment training, ask Hell-Haine or another female to help you go "work clothes shopping" at lunch.
I helped Klink do some clothes shopping when he was here. Does that mean I can't sexually harass the women now??

Ohhh, we had lunch too!! :confused:
Did you spend any of that time oogling?
No, was much too tuckered out the whole time to peek. I didn't even give the old lady a snooker while he was here.

(Oh shit, that makes it sound even worse!)

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:56 pm
by Ghost Dad
10 pages, huh?

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 10:34 pm
by doomeddisciple
Introvert wrote:
No, was much too tuckered out the whole time to peek. I didn't even give the old lady a snooker while he was here.

(Oh shit, that makes it sound even worse!)
Hmmmmm.

I don't want you to think its affecting your mid year review, but I will need to send you on another course before HR can place the pass on your file.

That or you can invite some of your sweaty's family over to stay for the weekend and have some non-vanilla sex while they stay in the house, that would also suffice.

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 10:54 pm
by riley-o
jakebonz wrote:Ah, I see our new graphic design expert is here!
it was actually a piece i commissioned from wormhole generator. he was off the clock at the time so i had to pay him from petty cash. i also took some of that as payment for the idea. and then some more to buy lunch.

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 11:01 pm
by doomeddisciple
riley-o wrote:
jakebonz wrote:Ah, I see our new graphic design expert is here!
it was actually a piece i commissioned from wormhole generator. he was off the clock at the time so i had to pay him from petty cash. i also took some of that as payment for the idea. and then some more to buy lunch.

So you're the CFO? A pleasure to meet you!

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 11:32 pm
by Tony Twist

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:02 am
by jakebonz@work
Image

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:16 am
by Wehttam
So....when does training start? I'll try to stay awake today. I'm not missing this training.

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:27 am
by pleasuretokill
I love casual fridays! Going to the bathroom right at your desk is soooo convenient.... The clean-up kind of suck s, but it's totally worth it.

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:29 am
by Geeheeb
INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY DEPT. MEMO:

(Confidential - for internal Reeelapse IT use only)

In an effort to save valuable resources, we are preparing to roll back all employees to Windows 95 (its the only install disc I can find right now). This should dramatically increase two things:

1. RESULTS
2. SECURITY

I have torrented a copy of Windows 95 for dummies that should finish over the weekend. I will print it out single sided and get it to someone with less than 5000 posts to drill and bind.

Here is a screencast I recorded to demonstrate the power of Windows 95:


Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:36 am
by jakebonz@work
Oh, good, the IT nerd with all of that boneheaded computer bullshit.

Can I get some ports opened up on my machine? My uTorrent is moving slow as hell and it's taking forever to download this Blu-ray rip of Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge.

Re: At the REEE offices...

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:38 am
by Wehttam
what the hell is the rest of The Company using? I'm still on DOS.