ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

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F/K/A HAPF
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by F/K/A HAPF »

Ahora que el obispo de la diócesis de Renada, a la que pertenece esta mi querida aldea de Valverde de Lucerna, anda, a lo que se dice, promoviendo el proceso para la beatificación de nuestro Don Manuel, o, mejor, san Manuel Bueno, que fue en esta párroco, quiero dejar aquí consignado, a modo de confesión y sólo Dios sabe, que no yo, con qué destino, todo lo que sé y recuerdo de aquel varón matriarcal que llenó toda la más entrañada vida de mi alma, que fue mi verdadero padre espiritual, el padre de mi espíritu, del mío, el de Ángela Carballino.

Al otro, a mi padre carnal y temporal, apenas si le conocí, pues se me murió siendo yo muy niña. Sé que había llegado de forastero a nuestra Valverde de Lucerna, que aquí arraigó al casarse aquí con mi madre. Trajo consigo unos cuantos libros, el Quijote, obras de teatro clásico, algunas novelas, historias, el Bertoldo, todo revuelto, y de esos libros, los únicos casi que había en toda la aldea, devoré yo ensueños siendo niña. Mi buena madre apenas si me contaba hechos o dichos de mi padre. Los de Don Manuel, a quien, como todo el mundo, adoraba, de quien estaba enamorada -claro que castísimamente-, le habían borrado el recuerdo de los de su marido. A quien encomendaba a Dios, y fervorosamente, cada día al rezar el rosario.

De nuestro Don Manuel me acuerdo como si fuese de cosa de ayer, siendo yo niña, a mis diez años, antes de que me llevaran al Colegio de Religiosas de la ciudad catedralicia de Renada. Tendría él, nuestro santo, entonces unos treinta y siete años. Era alto, delgado, erguido, llevaba la cabeza como nuestra Peña del Buitre lleva su cresta y había en sus ojos toda la hondura azul de nuestro lago. Se llevaba las miradas de todos, y tras ellas, los corazones, y él al mirarnos parecía, traspasando la carne como un cristal, mirarnos al corazón. Todos le queríamos, pero sobre todo los niños. ¡Qué cosas nos decía! Eran cosas, no palabras. Empezaba el pueblo a olerle la santidad; se sentía lleno y embriagado de su aroma. Entonces fue cuando mi hermano Lázaro, que estaba en América, de donde nos mandaba regularmente dinero con que vivíamos en decorosa holgura, hizo que mi madre me mandase al Colegio de Religiosas, a que se completara fuera de la aldea mi educación, y esto aunque a él, a Lázaro, no le hiciesen mucha gracia las monjas. «Pero como ahí -nos escribía- no hay hasta ahora, que yo sepa, colegios laicos y progresivos, y menos para señoritas, hay que atenerse a lo que haya. Lo importante es que Angelita se pula y que no siga entre esas zafias aldeanas.» Y entré en el colegio, pensando en un principio hacerme en él maestra, pero luego se me atragantó la pedagogía.

En el colegio conocí a niñas de la ciudad e intimé con algunas de ellas. Pero seguía atenta a las cosas y a las gentes de nuestra aldea, de la que recibía frecuentes noticias y tal vez alguna visita. Y hasta al colegio llegaba la fama de nuestro párroco, de quien empezaba a hablarse en la ciudad episcopal. Las monjas no hacían sino interrogarme respecto a él.

Desde muy niña alimenté, no sé bien cómo, curiosidades, preocupaciones e inquietudes, debidas, en parte al menos, a aquel revoltijo de libros de mi padre, y todo ello se me medró en el colegio, en el trato, sobre todo con una compañera que se me aficionó desmedidamente y que unas veces me proponía que entrásemos juntas a la vez en un mismo convento, jurándonos, y hasta firmando el juramento con nuestra sangre, hermandad perpetua, y otras veces me hablaba, con los ojos semicerrados, de novios y de aventuras matrimoniales. Por cierto que no he vuelto a saber de ella ni de su suerte. Y eso que cuando se hablaba de nuestro Don Manuel, o cuando mi madre me decía algo de él en sus cartas -y era en casi todas-, que yo leía a mi amiga, esta exclamaba como en arrobo: «¡Qué suerte, chica, la de poder vivir cerca de un santo así, de un santo vivo, de carne y hueso, y poder besarle la mano! Cuando vuelvas a tu pueblo, escríbeme mucho, mucho y cuéntame de él».

Pasé en el colegio unos cinco años, que ahora se me pierden como un sueño de madrugada en la lejanía del recuerdo, y a los quince volvía a mi Valverde de Lucerna. Ya toda ella era Don Manuel; Don Manuel con el lago y con la montaña. Llegué ansiosa de conocerle, de ponerme bajo su protección, de que él me marcara el sendero de mi vida.

Decíase que había entrado en el Seminario para hacerse cura, con el fin de atender a los hijos de una su hermana recién viuda, de servirles de padre; que en el Seminario se había distinguido por su agudeza mental y su talento y que había rechazado ofertas de brillante carrera eclesiástica porque él no quería ser sino de su Valverde de Lucerna, de su aldea perdida como un broche entre el lago y la montaña que se mira en él.

¡Y cómo quería a los suyos! Su vida era arreglar matrimonios desavenidos, reducir a sus padres hijos indómitos o reducir los padres a sus hijos, y sobre todo consolar a los amargados y atediados, y ayudar a todos a bien morir.

Me acuerdo, entre otras cosas, de que al volver de la ciudad la desgraciada hija de la tía Rabona, que se había perdido y volvió, soltera y desahuciada, trayendo un hijito consigo, Don Manuel no paró hasta que hizo que se casase con ella su antiguo novio, Perote, y reconociese como suya a la criaturita, diciéndole:

-Mira, da padre a este pobre crío que no le tiene más que en el cielo.

-¡Pero, Don Manuel, si no es mía la culpa...!

-¡Quién lo sabe, hijo, quién lo sabe...!, y, sobre todo, no se trata de culpa.

Y hoy el pobre Perote, inválido, paralítico, tiene como báculo y consuelo de su vida al hijo aquel que, contagiado de la santidad de Don Manuel, reconoció por suyo no siéndolo.

En la noche de san Juan, la más breve del año, solían y suelen acudir a nuestro lago todas las pobres mujerucas, y no pocos hombrecillos, que se creen poseídos, endemoniados, y que parece no son sino histéricos y a las veces epilépticos, y Don Manuel emprendió la tarea de hacer él de lago, de piscina probática, y tratar de aliviarles y si era posible de curarles. Y era tal la acción de su presencia, de sus miradas, y tal sobre todo la dulcísima autoridad de sus palabras y sobre todo de su voz -¡qué milagro de voz!-, que consiguió curaciones sorprendentes. Con lo que creció su fama, que atraía a nuestro lago y a él a todos los enfermos del contorno. Y alguna vez llegó una madre pidiéndole que hiciese un milagro en su hijo, a lo que contestó sonriendo tristemente: -No tengo licencia del señor obispo para hacer milagros.

Le preocupaba, sobre todo, que anduviesen todos limpios. Si alguno llevaba un roto en su vestidura, le decía:

«Anda a ver al sacristán, y que te remiende eso». El sacristán era sastre. Y cuando el día primero de año iban a felicitarle por ser el de su santo -su santo patrono era el mismo Jesús Nuestro Señor-, quería Don Manuel que todos se le presentasen con camisa nueva, y al que no la tenía se la regalaba él mismo.

Por todos mostraba el mismo afecto, y si a algunos distinguía más con él era a los más desgraciados y a los que aparecían como más díscolos. Y como hubiera en el pueblo un pobre idiota de nacimiento, Blasillo el bobo, a este es a quien más acariciaba y hasta llegó a enseñarle cosas que parecía milagro que las hubiese podido aprender. Y es que el pequeño rescoldo de inteligencia que aún quedaba en el bobo se le encendía en imitar, como un pobre mono, a su Don Manuel. Su maravilla era la voz, una voz divina, que hacía llorar. Cuando al oficiar en misa mayor o solemne entonaba el prefacio, estremecíase la iglesia y todos los que le oían sentíanse conmovidos en sus entrañas. Su canto, saliendo del templo, iba a quedarse dormido sobre el lago y al pie de la montaña. Y cuando en el sermón de Viernes Santo clamaba aquello de: «¡Dios mío, Dios mío!, ¿por qué me has abandonado?», pasaba por el pueblo todo un temblor hondo como por sobre las aguas del lago en días de cierzo de hostigo. Y era como si oyesen a Nuestro Señor Jesucristo mismo, como si la voz brotara de aquel viejo crucifijo a cuyos pies tantas generaciones de madres habían depositado sus congojas. Como que una vez, al oírlo su madre, la de Don Manuel, no pudo contenerse, y desde el suelo del templo, en que se sentaba, gritó: «¡Hijo mío!». Y fue un chaparrón de lágrimas entre todos. Creeríase que el grito maternal había brotado de la boca entreabierta de aquella Dolorosa -el corazón traspasado por siete espadas- que había en una de las capillas del templo. Luego Blasillo el tonto iba repitiendo en tono patético por las callejas, y como en eco, el «¡Dios mío, Dios mío!, ¿por qué me has abandonado?», y de tal manera que al oírselo se les saltaban a todos las lágrimas, con gran regocijo del bobo por su triunfo imitativo.

Su acción sobre las gentes era tal que nadie se atrevía a mentir ante él, y todos, sin tener que ir al confesonario, se le confesaban. A tal punto que como hubiese una vez ocurrido un repugnante crimen en una aldea próxima, el juez, un insensato que conocía mal a Don Manuel, le llamó y le dijo: -A ver si usted, Don Manuel, consigue que este bandido declare la verdad. -¿Para que luego pueda castigársele? -replicó el santo varón-. No, señor juez, no; yo no saco a nadie una verdad que le lleve acaso a la muerte. Allá entre él y Dios... La justicia humana no me concierne. «No juzguéis para no ser juzgados», dijo Nuestro Señor.
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FrankStalone
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by FrankStalone »

there goes streven again!! :mastoman:
Last edited by FrankStalone on Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by jakebonz@work »

Book V

And now, as Dawn rose from her couch beside Tithonus- harbinger of light alike to mortals and immortals- the gods met in council and with them, Jove the lord of thunder, who is their king. Thereon Minerva began to tell them of the many sufferings of Ulysses, for she pitied him away there in the house of the nymph Calypso.

"Father Jove," said she, "and all you other gods that live in everlasting bliss, I hope there may never be such a thing as a kind and well-disposed ruler any more, nor one who will govern equitably. I hope they will be all henceforth cruel and unjust, for there is not one of his subjects but has forgotten Ulysses, who ruled them as though he were their father. There he is, lying in great pain in an island where dwells the nymph Calypso, who will not let him go; and he cannot get back to his own country, for he can find neither ships nor sailors to take him over the sea. Furthermore, wicked people are now trying to murder his only son Telemachus, who is coming home from Pylos and Lacedaemon, where he has been to see if he can get news of his father."

"What, my dear, are you talking about?" replied her father, "did you not send him there yourself, because you thought it would help Ulysses to get home and punish the suitors? Besides, you are perfectly able to protect Telemachus, and to see him safely home again, while the suitors have to come hurry-skurrying back without having killed him."

When he had thus spoken, he said to his son Mercury, "Mercury, you are our messenger, go therefore and tell Calypso we have decreed that poor Ulysses is to return home. He is to be convoyed neither by gods nor men, but after a perilous voyage of twenty days upon a raft he is to reach fertile Scheria, the land of the Phaeacians, who are near of kin to the gods, and will honour him as though he were one of ourselves. They will send him in a ship to his own country, and will give him more bronze and gold and raiment than he would have brought back from Troy, if he had had had all his prize money and had got home without disaster. This is how we have settled that he shall return to his country and his friends."

Thus he spoke, and Mercury, guide and guardian, slayer of Argus, did as he was told. Forthwith he bound on his glittering golden sandals with which he could fly like the wind over land and sea. He took the wand with which he seals men's eyes in sleep or wakes them just as he pleases, and flew holding it in his hand over Pieria; then he swooped down through the firmament till he reached the level of the sea, whose waves he skimmed like a cormorant that flies fishing every hole and corner of the ocean, and drenching its thick plumage in the spray. He flew and flew over many a weary wave, but when at last he got to the island which was his journey's end, he left the sea and went on by land till he came to the cave where the nymph Calypso lived.

He found her at home. There was a large fire burning on the hearth, and one could smell from far the fragrant reek of burning cedar and sandal wood. As for herself, she was busy at her loom, shooting her golden shuttle through the warp and singing beautifully. Round her cave there was a thick wood of alder, poplar, and sweet smelling cypress trees, wherein all kinds of great birds had built their nests- owls, hawks, and chattering sea-crows that occupy their business in the waters. A vine loaded with grapes was trained and grew luxuriantly about the mouth of the cave; there were also four running rills of water in channels cut pretty close together, and turned hither and thither so as to irrigate the beds of violets and luscious herbage over which they flowed. Even a god could not help being charmed with such a lovely spot, so Mercury stood still and looked at it; but when he had admired it sufficiently he went inside the cave.

Calypso knew him at once- for the gods all know each other, no matter how far they live from one another- but Ulysses was not within; he was on the sea-shore as usual, looking out upon the barren ocean with tears in his eyes, groaning and breaking his heart for sorrow. Calypso gave Mercury a seat and said: "Why have you come to see me, Mercury- honoured, and ever welcome- for you do not visit me often? Say what you want; I will do it for be you at once if I can, and if it can be done at all; but come inside, and let me set refreshment before you.

As she spoke she drew a table loaded with ambrosia beside him and mixed him some red nectar, so Mercury ate and drank till he had had enough, and then said:

"We are speaking god and goddess to one another, one another, and you ask me why I have come here, and I will tell you truly as you would have me do. Jove sent me; it was no doing of mine; who could possibly want to come all this way over the sea where there are no cities full of people to offer me sacrifices or choice hecatombs? Nevertheless I had to come, for none of us other gods can cross Jove, nor transgress his orders. He says that you have here the most ill-starred of alf those who fought nine years before the city of King Priam and sailed home in the tenth year after having sacked it. On their way home they sinned against Minerva, who raised both wind and waves against them, so that all his brave companions perished, and he alone was carried hither by wind and tide. Jove says that you are to let this by man go at once, for it is decreed that he shall not perish here, far from his own people, but shall return to his house and country and see his friends again."

Calypso trembled with rage when she heard this, "You gods," she exclaimed, to be ashamed of yourselves. You are always jealous and hate seeing a goddess take a fancy to a mortal man, and live with him in open matrimony. So when rosy-fingered Dawn made love to Orion, you precious gods were all of you furious till Diana went and killed him in Ortygia. So again when Ceres fell in love with Iasion, and yielded to him in a thrice ploughed fallow field, Jove came to hear of it before so long and killed Iasion with his thunder-bolts. And now you are angry with me too because I have a man here. I found the poor creature sitting all alone astride of a keel, for Jove had struck his ship with lightning and sunk it in mid ocean, so that all his crew were drowned, while he himself was driven by wind and waves on to my island. I got fond of him and cherished him, and had set my heart on making him immortal, so that he should never grow old all his days; still I cannot cross Jove, nor bring his counsels to nothing; therefore, if he insists upon it, let the man go beyond the seas again; but I cannot send him anywhere myself for I have neither ships nor men who can take him. Nevertheless I will readily give him such advice, in all good faith, as will be likely to bring him safely to his own country."

"Then send him away," said Mercury, "or Jove will be angry with you and punish you"'

On this he took his leave, and Calypso went out to look for Ulysses, for she had heard Jove's message. She found him sitting upon the beach with his eyes ever filled with tears, and dying of sheer home-sickness; for he had got tired of Calypso, and though he was forced to sleep with her in the cave by night, it was she, not he, that would have it so. As for the day time, he spent it on the rocks and on the sea-shore, weeping, crying aloud for his despair, and always looking out upon the sea. Calypso then went close up to him said:

"My poor fellow, you shall not stay here grieving and fretting your life out any longer. I am going to send you away of my own free will; so go, cut some beams of wood, and make yourself a large raft with an upper deck that it may carry you safely over the sea. I will put bread, wine, and water on board to save you from starving. I will also give you clothes, and will send you a fair wind to take you home, if the gods in heaven so will it- for they know more about these things, and can settle them better than I can."

Ulysses shuddered as he heard her. "Now goddess," he answered, "there is something behind all this; you cannot be really meaning to help me home when you bid me do such a dreadful thing as put to sea on a raft. Not even a well-found ship with a fair wind could venture on such a distant voyage: nothing that you can say or do shall mage me go on board a raft unless you first solemnly swear that you mean me no mischief."

Calypso smiled at this and caressed him with her hand: "You know a great deal," said she, "but you are quite wrong here. May heaven above and earth below be my witnesses, with the waters of the river Styx- and this is the most solemn oath which a blessed god can take- that I mean you no sort of harm, and am only advising you to do exactly what I should do myself in your place. I am dealing with you quite straightforwardly; my heart is not made of iron, and I am very sorry for you."

When she had thus spoken she led the way rapidly before him, and Ulysses followed in her steps; so the pair, goddess and man, went on and on till they came to Calypso's cave, where Ulysses took the seat that Mercury had just left. Calypso set meat and drink before him of the food that mortals eat; but her maids brought ambrosia and nectar for herself, and they laid their hands on the good things that were before them. When they had satisfied themselves with meat and drink, Calypso spoke, saying:

"Ulysses, noble son of Laertes, so you would start home to your own land at once? Good luck go with you, but if you could only know how much suffering is in store for you before you get back to your own country, you would stay where you are, keep house along with me, and let me make you immortal, no matter how anxious you may be to see this wife of yours, of whom you are thinking all the time day after day; yet I flatter myself that at am no whit less tall or well-looking than she is, for it is not to be expected that a mortal woman should compare in beauty with an immortal."

"Goddess," replied Ulysses, "do not be angry with me about this. I am quite aware that my wife Penelope is nothing like so tall or so beautiful as yourself. She is only a woman, whereas you are an immortal. Nevertheless, I want to get home, and can think of nothing else. If some god wrecks me when I am on the sea, I will bear it and make the best of it. I have had infinite trouble both by land and sea already, so let this go with the rest."

Presently the sun set and it became dark, whereon the pair retired into the inner part of the cave and went to bed.

When the child of morning, rosy-fingered Dawn, appeared, Ulysses put on his shirt and cloak, while the goddess wore a dress of a light gossamer fabric, very fine and graceful, with a beautiful golden girdle about her waist and a veil to cover her head. She at once set herself to think how she could speed Ulysses on his way. So she gave him a great bronze axe that suited his hands; it was sharpened on both sides, and had a beautiful olive-wood handle fitted firmly on to it. She also gave him a sharp adze, and then led the way to the far end of the island where the largest trees grew- alder, poplar and pine, that reached the sky- very dry and well seasoned, so as to sail light for him in the water. Then, when she had shown him where the best trees grew, Calypso went home, leaving him to cut them, which he soon finished doing. He cut down twenty trees in all and adzed them smooth, squaring them by rule in good workmanlike fashion. Meanwhile Calypso came back with some augers, so he bored holes with them and fitted the timbers together with bolts and rivets. He made the raft as broad as a skilled shipwright makes the beam of a large vessel, and he filed a deck on top of the ribs, and ran a gunwale all round it. He also made a mast with a yard arm, and a rudder to steer with. He fenced the raft all round with wicker hurdles as a protection against the waves, and then he threw on a quantity of wood. By and by Calypso brought him some linen to make the sails, and he made these too, excellently, making them fast with braces and sheets. Last of all, with the help of levers, he drew the raft down into the water.

In four days he had completed the whole work, and on the fifth Calypso sent him from the island after washing him and giving him some clean clothes. She gave him a goat skin full of black wine, and another larger one of water; she also gave him a wallet full of provisions, and found him in much good meat. Moreover, she made the wind fair and warm for him, and gladly did Ulysses spread his sail before it, while he sat and guided the raft skilfully by means of the rudder. He never closed his eyes, but kept them fixed on the Pleiads, on late-setting Bootes, and on the Bear- which men also call the wain, and which turns round and round where it is, facing Orion, and alone never dipping into the stream of Oceanus- for Calypso had told him to keep this to his left. Days seven and ten did he sail over the sea, and on the eighteenth the dim outlines of the mountains on the nearest part of the Phaeacian coast appeared, rising like a shield on the horizon.

But King Neptune, who was returning from the Ethiopians, caught sight of Ulysses a long way off, from the mountains of the Solymi. He could see him sailing upon the sea, and it made him very angry, so he wagged his head and muttered to himself, saying, heavens, so the gods have been changing their minds about Ulysses while I was away in Ethiopia, and now he is close to the land of the Phaeacians, where it is decreed that he shall escape from the calamities that have befallen him. Still, he shall have plenty of hardship yet before he has done with it."

Thereon he gathered his clouds together, grasped his trident, stirred it round in the sea, and roused the rage of every wind that blows till earth, sea, and sky were hidden in cloud, and night sprang forth out of the heavens. Winds from East, South, North, and West fell upon him all at the same time, and a tremendous sea got up, so that Ulysses' heart began to fail him. "Alas," he said to himself in his dismay, "what ever will become of me? I am afraid Calypso was right when she said I should have trouble by sea before I got back home. It is all coming true. How black is Jove making heaven with his clouds, and what a sea the winds are raising from every quarter at once. I am now safe to perish. Blest and thrice blest were those Danaans who fell before Troy in the cause of the sons of Atreus. Would that had been killed on the day when the Trojans were pressing me so sorely about the dead body of Achilles, for then I should have had due burial and the Achaeans would have honoured my name; but now it seems that I shall come to a most pitiable end."

As he spoke a sea broke over him with such terrific fury that the raft reeled again, and he was carried overboard a long way off. He let go the helm, and the force of the hurricane was so great that it broke the mast half way up, and both sail and yard went over into the sea. For a long time Ulysses was under water, and it was all he could do to rise to the surface again, for the clothes Calypso had given him weighed him down; but at last he got his head above water and spat out the bitter brine that was running down his face in streams. In spite of all this, however, he did not lose sight of his raft, but swam as fast as he could towards it, got hold of it, and climbed on board again so as to escape drowning. The sea took the raft and tossed it about as Autumn winds whirl thistledown round and round upon a road. It was as though the South, North, East, and West winds were all playing battledore and shuttlecock with it at once.

When he was in this plight, Ino daughter of Cadmus, also called Leucothea, saw him. She had formerly been a mere mortal, but had been since raised to the rank of a marine goddess. Seeing in what great distress Ulysses now was, she had compassion upon him, and, rising like a sea-gull from the waves, took her seat upon the raft.

"My poor good man," said she, "why is Neptune so furiously angry with you? He is giving you a great deal of trouble, but for all his bluster he will not kill you. You seem to be a sensible person, do then as I bid you; strip, leave your raft to drive before the wind, and swim to the Phaecian coast where better luck awaits you. And here, take my veil and put it round your chest; it is enchanted, and you can come to no harm so long as you wear it. As soon as you touch land take it off, throw it back as far as you can into the sea, and then go away again." With these words she took off her veil and gave it him. Then she dived down again like a sea-gull and vanished beneath the dark blue waters.

But Ulysses did not know what to think. "Alas," he said to himself in his dismay, "this is only some one or other of the gods who is luring me to ruin by advising me to will quit my raft. At any rate I will not do so at present, for the land where she said I should be quit of all troubles seemed to be still a good way off. I know what I will do- I am sure it will be best- no matter what happens I will stick to the raft as long as her timbers hold together, but when the sea breaks her up I will swim for it; I do not see how I can do any better than this."

While he was thus in two minds, Neptune sent a terrible great wave that seemed to rear itself above his head till it broke right over the raft, which then went to pieces as though it were a heap of dry chaff tossed about by a whirlwind. Ulysses got astride of one plank and rode upon it as if he were on horseback; he then took off the clothes Calypso had given him, bound Ino's veil under his arms, and plunged into the sea- meaning to swim on shore. King Neptune watched him as he did so, and wagged his head, muttering to himself and saying, "'There now, swim up and down as you best can till you fall in with well-to-do people. I do not think you will be able to say that I have let you off too lightly." On this he lashed his horses and drove to Aegae where his palace is.

But Minerva resolved to help Ulysses, so she bound the ways of all the winds except one, and made them lie quite still; but she roused a good stiff breeze from the North that should lay the waters till Ulysses reached the land of the Phaeacians where he would be safe.

Thereon he floated about for two nights and two days in the water, with a heavy swell on the sea and death staring him in the face; but when the third day broke, the wind fell and there was a dead calm without so much as a breath of air stirring. As he rose on the swell he looked eagerly ahead, and could see land quite near. Then, as children rejoice when their dear father begins to get better after having for a long time borne sore affliction sent him by some angry spirit, but the gods deliver him from evil, so was Ulysses thankful when he again saw land and trees, and swam on with all his strength that he might once more set foot upon dry ground. When, however, he got within earshot, he began to hear the surf thundering up against the rocks, for the swell still broke against them with a terrific roar. Everything was enveloped in spray; there were no harbours where a ship might ride, nor shelter of any kind, but only headlands, low-lying rocks, and mountain tops.

Ulysses' heart now began to fail him, and he said despairingly to himself, "Alas, Jove has let me see land after swimming so far that I had given up all hope, but I can find no landing place, for the coast is rocky and surf-beaten, the rocks are smooth and rise sheer from the sea, with deep water close under them so that I cannot climb out for want of foothold. I am afraid some great wave will lift me off my legs and dash me against the rocks as I leave the water- which would give me a sorry landing. If, on the other hand, I swim further in search of some shelving beach or harbour, a hurricane may carry me out to sea again sorely against my will, or heaven may send some great monster of the deep to attack me; for Amphitrite breeds many such, and I know that Neptune is very angry with me."

While he was thus in two minds a wave caught him and took him with such force against the rocks that he would have been smashed and torn to pieces if Minerva had not shown him what to do. He caught hold of the rock with both hands and clung to it groaning with pain till the wave retired, so he was saved that time; but presently the wave came on again and carried him back with it far into the sea-tearing his hands as the suckers of a polypus are torn when some one plucks it from its bed, and the stones come up along with it even so did the rocks tear the skin from his strong hands, and then the wave drew him deep down under the water.

Here poor Ulysses would have certainly perished even in spite of his own destiny, if Minerva had not helped him to keep his wits about him. He swam seaward again, beyond reach of the surf that was beating against the land, and at the same time he kept looking towards the shore to see if he could find some haven, or a spit that should take the waves aslant. By and by, as he swam on, he came to the mouth of a river, and here he thought would be the best place, for there were no rocks, and it afforded shelter from the wind. He felt that there was a current, so he prayed inwardly and said:

"Hear me, O King, whoever you may be, and save me from the anger of the sea-god Neptune, for I approach you prayerfully. Any one who has lost his way has at all times a claim even upon the gods, wherefore in my distress I draw near to your stream, and cling to the knees of your riverhood. Have mercy upon me, O king, for I declare myself your suppliant."

Then the god stayed his stream and stilled the waves, making all calm before him, and bringing him safely into the mouth of the river. Here at last Ulysses' knees and strong hands failed him, for the sea had completely broken him. His body was all swollen, and his mouth and nostrils ran down like a river with sea-water, so that he could neither breathe nor speak, and lay swooning from sheer exhaustion; presently, when he had got his breath and came to himself again, he took off the scarf that Ino had given him and threw it back into the salt stream of the river, whereon Ino received it into her hands from the wave that bore it towards her. Then he left the river, laid himself down among the rushes, and kissed the bounteous earth.

"Alas," he cried to himself in his dismay, "what ever will become of me, and how is it all to end? If I stay here upon the river bed through the long watches of the night, I am so exhausted that the bitter cold and damp may make an end of me- for towards sunrise there will be a keen wind blowing from off the river. If, on the other hand, I climb the hill side, find shelter in the woods, and sleep in some thicket, I may escape the cold and have a good night's rest, but some savage beast may take advantage of me and devour me."

In the end he deemed it best to take to the woods, and he found one upon some high ground not far from the water. There he crept beneath two shoots of olive that grew from a single stock- the one an ungrafted sucker, while the other had been grafted. No wind, however squally, could break through the cover they afforded, nor could the sun's rays pierce them, nor the rain get through them, so closely did they grow into one another. Ulysses crept under these and began to make himself a bed to lie on, for there was a great litter of dead leaves lying about- enough to make a covering for two or three men even in hard winter weather. He was glad enough to see this, so he laid himself down and heaped the leaves all round him. Then, as one who lives alone in the country, far from any neighbor, hides a brand as fire-seed in the ashes to save himself from having to get a light elsewhere, even so did Ulysses cover himself up with leaves; and Minerva shed a sweet sleep upon his eyes, closed his eyelids, and made him lose all memories of his sorrows.
F/K/A HAPF
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Posts: 3486
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by F/K/A HAPF »

-Pero es que yo, señor cura...

-Comprendido; dé usted, señor juez, al César lo que es del César, que yo daré a Dios lo que es de Dios. Y al salir, mirando fijamente al presunto reo, le dijo:

-Mira bien si Dios te ha perdonado, que es lo único que importa.

En el pueblo todos acudían a misa, aunque sólo fuese por oírle y por verle en el altar, donde parecía transfigurarse, encendiéndosele el rostro. Había un santo ejercicio que introdujo en el culto popular, y es que, reuniendo en el templo a todo el pueblo, hombres y mujeres, viejos y niños, unas mil personas, recitábamos al unísono, en una sola voz, el Credo: «Creo en Dios Padre Todopoderoso, Creador del Cielo y de la Tierra...» y lo que sigue. Y no era un coro, sino una sola voz, una voz simple y unida, fundidas todas en una y haciendo como una montaña, cuya cumbre, perdida a las veces en nubes, era Don Manuel. Y al llegar a lo de «creo en la resurrección de la carne y la vida perdurable» la voz de Don Manuel se zambullía, como en un lago, en la del pueblo todo, y era que él se callaba. Y yo oía las campanadas de la villa que se dice aquí que está sumergida en el lecho del lago -campanadas que se dice también se oyen la noche de San Juan- y eran las de la villa sumergida en el lago espiritual de nuestro pueblo; oía la voz de nuestros muertos que en nosotros resucitaban en la comunión de los santos. Después, al llegar a conocer el secreto de nuestro santo, he comprendido que era como si una caravana en marcha por el desierto, desfallecido el caudillo al acercarse al término de su carrera, le tomaran en hombros los suyos para meter su cuerpo sin vida en la tierra de promisión.

Los más no querían morirse sino cogidos de su mano como de un ancla. Jamás en sus sermones se ponía a declamar contra impíos, masones, liberales o herejes. ¿Para qué, si no los había en la aldea? Ni menos contra la mala prensa. En cambio, uno de los más frecuentes temas de sus sermones era contra la mala lengua. Porque él lo disculpaba todo y a todos disculpaba. No quería creer en la mala intención de nadie.

-La envidia -gustaba repetir- la mantienen los que se empeñan en creerse envidiados, y las más de las persecuciones son efecto más de la manía persecutoria que no de la perseguidora.

-Pero fíjese, Don Manuel, en lo que me ha querido decir...

Y él:

-No debe importarnos tanto lo que uno quiera decir como lo que diga sin querer...

Su vida era activa y no contemplativa, huyendo cuanto podía de no tener nada que hacer. Cuando oía eso de que la ociosidad es la madre de todos los vicios, contestaba: «Y del peor de todos, que es el pensar ocioso». Y como yo le preguntara una vez qué es lo que con eso quería decir, me contestó: «Pensar ocioso es pensar para no hacer nada o pensar demasiado en lo que se ha hecho y no en lo que hay que hacer. A lo hecho pecho, y a otra cosa, que no hay peor que remordimiento sin enmienda». ¡Hacer!, ¡hacer! Bien com- prendí yo ya desde entonces que Don Manuel huía de pensar ocioso y a solas, que algún pensamiento le perseguía.

Así es que estaba siempre ocupado, y no pocas veces en inventar ocupaciones. Escribía muy poco para sí, de tal modo que apenas nos ha dejado escritos o notas; mas, en cambio, hacía de memorialista para los demás, y a las madres, sobre todo, les redactaba las cartas para sus hijos ausentes. Trabajaba también manualmente, ayudando con sus brazos a ciertas labores del pueblo. En la temporada de trilla íbase a la era a trillar y aventar, y en tanto, les aleccionaba o les distraía. Sustituía a las veces a algún enfermo en su tarea. Un día del más crudo invierno se encontró con un niño, muertecito de frío, a quien su padre le enviaba a recoger una res a larga distancia, en el monte. -Mira -le dijo al niño-, vuélvete a casa, a calentarte, y dile a tu padre que yo voy a hacer el encargo. Y al volver con la res se encontró con el padre, todo confuso, que iba a su encuentro. En invierno partía leña para los pobres. Cuando se secó aquel magnífico nogal -«un nogal matriarcal» le llamaba-, a cuya sombra había jugado de niño y con cuyas nueces se había durante tantos años regalado, pidió el tronco, se lo llevó a su casa y después de labrar en él seis tablas, que guardaba al pie de su lecho, hizo del resto leña para calentar a los pobres.

Solía hacer también las pelotas para que jugaran los mozos y no pocos juguetes para los niños.

Solía acompañar al médico en su visita y recalcaba las prescripciones de este. Se interesaba sobre todo en los embarazos y en la crianza de los niños, y estimaba como una de las mayores blasfemias aquello de: «¡Teta y gloria!», y lo otro de: «Angelitos al cielo». Le conmovía profundamente la muerte de los niños. -Un niño que nace muerto o que se muere recién nacido y un suicidio -me dijo una vez- son para mí de los más terribles misterios: ¡un niño en cruz!

Y como una vez, por haberse quitado uno la vida, le preguntara el padre del suicida, un forastero, si le daría tierra sagrada, le contestó:

-Seguramente, pues en el último momento, en el segundo de la agonía, se arrepintió sin duda alguna.

Iba también a menudo a la escuela a ayudar al maestro, a enseñar con él, y no sólo el catecismo. Y es que huía de la ociosidad y de la soledad. De tal modo que por estar con el pueblo, y sobre todo con el mocerío y la chiquillería, solía ir al baile. Y más de una vez se puso en él a tocar el tamboril para que los mozos y las mozas bailasen, y esto, que en otro hubiera parecido grotesca profanación del sacerdocio, en él tomaba un sagrado carácter y como de rito religioso. Sonaba el Ángelus, dejaba el tamboril y el palillo, se descubría y todos con él, y rezaba: «El ángel del Señor anunció a María: Ave María...». Y luego: «Y ahora, a descansar para mañana».

-Lo primero -decía- es que el pueblo esté contento, que estén todos contentos de vivir. El contentamiento de vivir es lo primero de todo. Nadie debe querer morirse hasta que Dios quiera.

-Pues yo sí -le dijo una vez una recién viuda-, yo quiero seguir a mi marido...

-¿Y para qué? -le respondió-. Quédate aquí para encomendar su alma a Dios. En una boda dijo una vez: «¡Ay, si pudiese cambiar el agua toda de nuestro lago en vino, en un vinillo que por mucho que de él se bebiera alegrara siempre sin emborrachar nunca... o por lo menos con una borrachera alegre!».

Una vez pasó por el pueblo una banda de pobres titiriteros. El jefe de ella, que llegó con la mujer grave- mente enferma y embarazada, y con tres hijos que le ayudaban, hacía de payaso. Mientras él estaba en la plaza del pueblo haciendo reír a los niños y aun a los grandes, ella, sintiéndose de pronto gravemente indispuesta, se tuvo que retirar, y se retiró escoltada por una mirada de congoja del payaso y una risotada de los niños. Y escoltada por Don Manuel, que luego, en un rincón de la cuadra de la posada, la ayudó a bien morir. Y cuando, acabada la fiesta, supo el pueblo y supo el payaso la tragedia, fuéronse todos a la posada y el pobre hombre, diciendo con llanto en la voz: «Bien se dice, señor cura, que es usted todo un santo», se acercó a este queriendo tomarle la mano para besársela, pero Don Manuel se adelantó, y tomándosela al payaso, pronunció ante todos:

-El santo eres tú, honrado payaso; te vi trabajar y comprendí que no sólo lo haces para dar pan a tus hijos, sino también para dar alegría a los de los otros, y yo te digo que tu mujer, la madre de tus hijos, a quien he despedido a Dios mientras trabajabas y alegrabas, descansa en el Señor, y que tú irás a juntarte con ella y a que te paguen riendo los ángeles a los que haces reír en el cielo de contento.

Y todos, niños y grandes, lloraban, y lloraban tanto de pena como de un misterioso contento en que la pena se ahogaba. Y más tarde, recordando aquel solemne rato, he comprendido que la alegría imperturbable de Don Manuel era la forma temporal y terrena de una infinita y eterna tristeza que con heroica santidad recataba a los ojos y los oídos de los demás.

Con aquella su constante actividad, con aquel mezclarse en las tareas y las diversiones de todos, parecía querer huir de sí mismo, querer huir de su soledad. «Le temo a la soledad», repetía. Mas, aun así, de vez en cuando se iba solo, orilla del lago, a las ruinas de aquella vieja abadía donde aún parecen reposar las almas de los piadosos cistercienses a quienes ha sepultado en el olvido la Historia. Allí está la celda del llamado Padre Capitán, y en sus paredes se dice que aún quedan señales de la gota de sangre con que las salpicó al mortificarse. ¿Que pensaría allí nuestro Don Manuel? Lo que sí recuerdo es que como una vez, hablando de la abadía, le preguntase yo cómo era que no se le había ocurrido ir al claustro, me contestó:

-No es sobre todo porque tenga, como tengo, mi hermana viuda y mis sobrinos a quienes sostener, que Dios ayuda a sus pobres, sino porque yo no nací para ermitaño, para anacoreta; la soledad me mataría el alma, y en cuanto a un monasterio, mi monasterio es Valverde de Lucerna. Yo no debo vivir solo; yo no debo morir solo. Debo vivir para mi pueblo, morir para mi pueblo. ¿Cómo voy a salvar mi alma si no salvo la de mi pueblo?

-Pero es que ha habido santos ermitaños, solitarios... -le dije.

-Sí, a ellos les dio el Señor la gracia de soledad que a mí me ha negado, y tengo que resignarme. Yo no puedo perder a mi pueblo para ganarme el alma. Así me ha hecho Dios. Yo no podría soportar las tentaciones del desierto. Yo no podría llevar solo la cruz del nacimiento.

He querido con estos recuerdos, de los que vive mi fe, retratar a nuestro Don Manuel tal como era cuando yo, mocita de cerca de dieciséis años, volví del Colegio de Religiosas de Renada a nuestro monasterio de Valverde de Lucerna. Y volví a ponerme a los pies de su abad.

-¡Hola, la hija de la Simona -me dijo en cuanto me vio-, y hecha ya toda una moza, y sabiendo francés, y bordar y tocar el piano y qué sé yo qué más! Ahora a prepararte para darnos otra familia. Y tu hermano Lázaro, ¿cuándo vuelve? Sigue en el Nuevo Mundo, ¿no es así?

-Sí, señor, sigue en América...

-¡El Nuevo Mundo! Y nosotros en el Viejo. Pues bueno, cuando le escribas, dile de mi parte, de parte del cura, que estoy deseando saber cuándo vuelve del Nuevo Mundo a este Viejo, trayéndonos las novedades de por allá. Y dile que encontrará al lago y a la montaña como les dejó.

Cuando me fui a confesar con él mi turbación era tanta que no acertaba a articular palabra. Recé el «yo pecadora» balbuciendo, casi sollozando. Y él, que lo observó, me dijo: -Pero ¿qué te pasa, corderilla? ¿De qué o de quién tienes miedo? Porque tú no tiemblas ahora al peso de tus pecados ni por temor de Dios, no; tú tiemblas de mí, ¿no es eso? Me eché a llorar.

-Pero ¿qué es lo que te han dicho de mí? ¿Qué leyendas son esas? ¿Acaso tu madre? Vamos, vamos, cálmate y haz cuenta que estás hablando con tu hermano...

Me animé y empecé a confiarle mis inquietudes, mis dudas, mis tristezas. -¡Bah, bah, bah! ¿Y dónde has leído eso, marisabidilla? Todo eso es literatura. No te des demasiado a ella, ni siquiera a santa Teresa. Y si quieres distraerte, lee el Bertoldo, que leía tu padre. Salí de aquella mi primera confesión con el santo hombre profundamente consolada. Y aquel mi temor primero, aquel más que respeto miedo, con que me acerqué a él, trocose en una lástima profunda. Era yo entonces una mocita, una niña casi; pero empezaba a ser mujer, sentía en mis entrañas el jugo de la maternidad, y al encontrarme en el confesonario junto al santo varón, sentí como una callada confesión suya en el susurro sumiso de su voz y recordé cómo cuando al clamar él en la iglesia las palabras de Jesucristo: «¡Dios mío, Dios mío!, ¿por qué me has abandonado?», su madre, la de Don Manuel, respondió desde el suelo: «¡Hijo mío!», y oí este grito que desgarraba la quietud del templo. Y volví a confesarme con él para consolarle.

Una vez que en el confesonario le expuse una de aquellas dudas, me contestó:

-A eso, ya sabes, lo del catecismo: «Eso no me lo preguntéis a mí, que soy ignorante; doctores tiene la Santa Madre Iglesia que os sabrán responder».

-¡Pero si el doctor aquí es usted, Don Manuel...!

-¿Yo, yo doctor?, ¿doctor yo? ¡Ni por pienso! Yo, doctorcilla, no soy más que un pobre cura de aldea. Y esas preguntas, ¿sabes quién te las insinúa, quién te las dirige? Pues... ¡el Demonio!

Y entonces, envalentonándome, le espeté a boca de jarro:

-¿Y si se las dirigiese a usted, Don Manuel?

-¿A quién?, ¿a mí? ¿Y el Demonio? No nos conocemos, hija, no nos conocemos.

-¿Y si se las dirigiera?

-No le haría caso. Y basta, ¿eh?, despachemos, que me están esperando unos enfermos de verdad.

Me retiré, pensando, no sé por qué, que nuestro Don Manuel, tan afamado curandero de endemoniados, no creía en el Demonio. Y al irme hacia mi casa topé con Blasillo el bobo, que acaso rondaba el templo, y que al verme, para agasajarme con sus habilidades, repitió -¡y de qué modo!- lo de «¡Dios mío, Dios mío!, ¿por qué me has abandonado?». Llegué a casa acongojadísima y me encerré en mi cuarto para llorar, hasta que llegó mi madre.

-Me parece, Angelita, con tantas confesiones, que tú te me vas a ir monja.

-No lo tema, madre -le contesté-, pues tengo harto que hacer aquí, en el pueblo, que es mi convento.

-Hasta que te cases.

-No pienso en ello -le repliqué.

Y otra vez que me encontré con Don Manuel, le pregunté, mirándole derechamente a los ojos:

-¿Es que hay infierno, Don Manuel?

Y él, sin inmutarse:

-¿Para ti, hija? No.

-¿Para los otros, le hay?

-¿Y a ti qué te importa, si no has de ir a él?

-Me importa por los otros. ¿Le hay?

-Cree en el cielo, en el cielo que vemos. Míralo -y me lo mostraba sobre la montaña y abajo, reflejado en el lago.

-Pero hay que creer en el infierno, como en el cielo -le repliqué.

-Sí, hay que creer todo lo que cree y enseña a creer la Santa Madre Iglesia Católica, Apostólica, Romana. ¡Y basta!
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F/K/A HAPF
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Posts: 3486
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by F/K/A HAPF »

Leí no sé qué honda tristeza en sus ojos, azules como las aguas del lago. Aquellos años pasaron como un sueño. La imagen de Don Manuel iba creciendo en mí sin que yo de ello me diese cuenta, pues era un varón tan cotidiano, tan de cada día como el pan que a diario pedimos en el Padrenuestro. Yo le ayudaba cuanto podía en sus menesteres, visitaba a sus enfermos, a nuestros enfermos, a las niñas de la escuela, arreglaba el ropero de la iglesia, le hacía, como me llamaba él, de diaconisa. Fui unos días invitada por una compañera de colegio, a la ciudad, y tuve que volverme, pues en la ciudad me ahogaba, me faltaba algo, sentía sed de la vista de las aguas del lago, hambre de la vista de las peñas de la montaña; sentía, sobre todo, la falta de mi Don Manuel y como si su ausencia me llamara, como si corriese un peligro lejos de mí, como si me necesitara. Empezaba yo a sentir una especie de afecto maternal hacia mi padre espiritual; quería aliviarle del peso de su cruz del nacimiento.

Así fui llegando a mis veinticuatro años, que es cuando volvió de América, con un caudalillo ahorrado, mi hermano Lázaro. Llegó acá, a Valverde de Lucerna, con el propósito de llevarnos a mí y a nuestra madre a vivir a la ciudad, acaso a Madrid.

-En la aldea -decía- se entontece, se embrutece y se empobrece uno. Y añadía:

-Civilización es lo contrario de ruralización; ¡aldeanerías no!, que no hice que fueras al colegio para que te pudras luego aquí, entre estos zafios patanes.

Yo callaba, aún dispuesta a resistir la emigración; pero nuestra madre, que pasaba ya de la sesentena, se opuso desde un principio. «¡A mi edad, cambiar de aguas!», dijo primero; mas luego dio a conocer claramente que ella no podría vivir fuera de la vista de su lago, de su montaña, y sobre todo de su Don Manuel. -¡Sois como las gatas, que os apegáis a la casa! -repetía mi hermano. Cuando se percató de todo el imperio que sobre el pueblo todo y en especial sobre nosotras, sobre mi madre y sobre mí, ejercía el santo varón evangélico, se irritó contra este. Le pareció un ejemplo de la oscura teocracia en que él suponía hundida a España. Y empezó a barbotar sin descanso todos los viejos lugares comunes anticlericales y hasta antirreligiosos y progresistas que había traído renovados del Nuevo Mundo.

-En esta España de calzonazos -decía- los curas manejan a las mujeres y las mujeres a los hombres... ¡y luego el campo!, ¡el campo!, este campo feudal...

Para él, feudal era un término pavoroso; feudal y medieval eran los dos calificativos que prodigaba cuando quería condenar algo.

Le desconcertaba el ningún efecto que sobre nosotras hacían sus diatribas y el casi ningún efecto que hacían en el pueblo, donde se le oía con respetuosa indiferencia. «A estos patanes no hay quien les conmueva». Pero como era bueno por ser inteligente, pronto se dio cuenta de la clase de imperio que Don Manuel ejercía sobre el pueblo, pronto se enteró de la obra del cura de su aldea.

-¡No, no es como los otros -decía-, es un santo!

-Pero ¿tú sabes cómo son los otros curas? -le decía yo, y él:

-Me lo figuro.

Mas aun así ni entraba en la iglesia ni dejaba de hacer alarde en todas partes de su incredulidad, aunque procurando siempre dejar a salvo a Don Manuel. Y ya en el pueblo se fue formando, no sé cómo, una expectativa, la de una especie de duelo entre mi hermano Lázaro y Don Manuel, o más bien se esperaba la conversión de aquel por este. Nadie dudaba de que al cabo el párroco le llevaría a su parroquia. Lázaro, por su parte, ardía en deseos -me lo dijo luego- de ir a oír a Don Manuel, de verle y oírle en la iglesia, de acercarse a él y con él conversar, de conocer el secreto de aquel su imperio espiritual sobre las almas. Y se hacía de rogar para ello, hasta que al fin, por curiosidad -decía-, fue a oírle.

-Sí, esto es otra cosa -me dijo luego de haberle oído-; no es como los otros, pero a mí no me la da; es demasiado inteligente para creer todo lo que tiene que enseñar.

-Pero ¿es que le crees un hipócrita? -le dije.

-¡Hipócrita... no!, pero es el oficio del que tiene que vivir. En cuanto a mí, mi hermano se empeñaba en que yo leyese de libros que él trajo y de otros que me incitaba a comprar.

-¿Conque tu hermano Lázaro -me decía Don Manuel- se empeña en que leas? Pues lee, hija mía, lee y dale así gusto. Sé que no has de leer sino cosa buena; lee aunque sea novelas. No son mejores las historias que llaman verdaderas. Vale más que leas que no el que te alimentes de chismes y comadrerías del pueblo. Pero lee sobre todo libros de piedad que te den contento de vivir, un contento apacible y silencioso. ¿Le tenía él?

Por entonces enfermó de muerte y se nos murió nuestra madre, y en sus últimos días todo su hipo era que Don Manuel convirtiese a Lázaro, a quien esperaba volver a ver un día en el cielo, en un rincón de las estrellas desde donde se viese el lago y la montaña de Valverde de Lucerna. Ella se iba ya, a ver a Dios.

-Usted no se va -le decía Don Manuel-, usted se queda. Su cuerpo aquí, en esta tierra, y su alma también aquí en esta casa, viendo y oyendo a sus hijos, aunque estos ni le vean ni le oigan.

-Pero yo, padre -dijo-, voy a ver a Dios.

-Dios, hija mía, está aquí como en todas partes, y le verá usted desde aquí, desde aquí. Y a todos nosotros en Él, y a Él en nosotros.

-Dios se lo pague -le dije.

-El contento con que tu madre se muera -me dijo- será su eterna vida. Y volviéndose a mi hermano Lázaro:

-Su cielo es seguir viéndote, y ahora es cuando hay que salvarla. Dile que rezarás por ella. -Pero...

-¿Pero...? Dile que rezarás por ella, a quien debes la vida, y sé que una vez que se lo prometas rezarás y sé que luego que reces...

Mi hermano, acercándose, arrasados sus ojos en lágrimas, a nuestra madre, agonizante, le prometió solemnemente rezar por ella.

-Y yo en el cielo por ti, por vosotros -respondió mi madre, y besando el crucifijo y puestos sus ojos en los de Don Manuel, entregó su alma a Dios.

-«¡En tus manos encomiendo mi espíritu!» -rezó el santo varón.

Quedamos mi hermano y yo solos en la casa. Lo que pasó en la muerte de nuestra madre puso a Lázaro en relación con Don Manuel, que pareció descuidar algo a sus demás pacientes, a sus demás menesterosos, para atender a mi hermano. Íbanse por las tardes de paseo, orilla del lago, o hacia las ruinas, vestidas de hiedra, de la vieja abadía de cistercienses.

-Es un hombre maravilloso -me decía Lázaro-. Ya sabes que dicen que en el fondo de este lago hay una villa sumergida y que en la noche de san Juan, a las doce, se oyen las campanadas de su iglesia.

-Sí -le contestaba yo-, una villa feudal y medieval...

-Y creo -añadía él- que en el fondo del alma de nuestro Don Manuel hay también sumergida, ahogada, una villa y que alguna vez se oyen sus campanadas.

-Sí -le dije-, esa villa sumergida en el alma de Don Manuel, ¿y por qué no también en la tuya?, es el cementerio de las almas de nuestros abuelos, los de esta nuestra Valverde de Lucerna... ¡feudal y medieval!

Acabó mi hermano por ir a misa siempre, a oír a Don Manuel, y cuando se dijo que cumpliría con la parroquia, que comulgaría cuando los demás comulgasen, recorrió un íntimo regocijo al pueblo todo, que creyó haberle recobrado. Pero fue un regocijo tal, tan limpio, que Lázaro no se sintió ni vencido ni disminuido.

Y llegó el día de su comunión, ante el pueblo todo, con el pueblo todo. Cuando llegó la vez a mi hermano pude ver que Don Manuel, tan blanco como la nieve de enero en la montaña y temblando como tiembla el lago cuando le hostiga el cierzo, se le acercó con la sagrada forma en la mano, y de tal modo le temblaba esta al arrimarla a la boca de Lázaro que se le cayó la forma a tiempo que le daba un vahído. Y fue mi hermano mismo quien recogió la hostia y se la llevó a la boca. Y el pueblo al ver llorar a Don Manuel, lloró diciéndose: «¡Cómo le quiere!». Y entonces, pues era la madrugada, cantó un gallo. Al volver a casa y encerrarme en ella con mi hermano, le eché los brazos al cuello y besándole le dije:

-¡Ay Lázaro, Lázaro, qué alegría nos has dado a todos, a todos, a todo el pueblo, a todos, a los vivos y a los muertos, y sobre todo a mamá, a nuestra madre! ¿Viste? El pobre Don Manuel lloraba de alegría. ¡Qué alegría nos has dado a todos!

-Por eso lo he hecho -me contestó.

-¿Por eso? ¿Por darnos alegría? Lo habrás hecho ante todo por ti mismo, por conversión. Y entonces Lázaro, mi hermano, tan pálido y tan tembloroso como Don Manuel cuando le dio la comunión, me hizo sentarme en el sillón mismo donde solía sentarse nuestra madre, tomó huelgo, y luego, como en íntima confesión doméstica y familiar, me dijo:

-Mira, Angelita, ha llegado la hora de decirte la verdad, toda la verdad, y te la voy a decir, porque debo decírtela, porque a ti no puedo, no debo callártela y porque además habrías de adivinarla y a medias, que es lo peor, más tarde o más temprano.

Y entonces, serena y tranquilamente, a media voz, me contó una historia que me sumergió en un lago de tristeza. Cómo Don Manuel le había venido trabajando, sobre todo en aquellos paseos a las ruinas de la vieja abadía cisterciense, para que no escandalizase, para que diese buen ejemplo, para que se incorporase a la vida religiosa del pueblo, para que fingiese creer si no creía, para que ocultase sus ideas al respecto, mas sin intentar siquiera catequizarle, convertirle de otra manera.

-Pero ¿es eso posible? -exclamé consternada.

-¡Y tan posible, hermana, y tan posible! Y cuando yo le decía: «¿Pero es usted, usted, el sacerdote, el que me aconseja que finja?», él, balbuciente: «¿Fingir?, ¡fingir no!, ¡eso no es fingir! Toma agua bendita, que dijo alguien, y acabarás creyendo». Y como yo, mirándole a los ojos, le dijese: «¿Y usted celebrando misa ha acabado por creer?», él bajó la mirada al lago y se le llenaron los ojos de lágrimas. Y así es como le arranqué su secreto.

-¡Lázaro! -gemí.

Y en aquel momento pasó por la calle Blasillo el bobo, clamando su: «¡Dios mío, Dios mío!, ¿por qué me has abandonado?». Y Lázaro se estremeció creyendo oír la voz de Don Manuel, acaso la de Nuestro Señor Jesucristo.

-Entonces -prosiguió mi hermano- comprendí sus móviles, y con esto comprendí su santidad; porque es un santo, hermana, todo un santo. No trataba al emprender ganarme para su santa causa -porque es una causa santa, santísima-, arrogarse un triunfo, sino que lo hacía por la paz, por la felicidad, por la ilusión si quieres, de los que le están encomendados; comprendí que si les engaña así -si es que esto es engaño- no es por medrar. Me rendí a sus razones, y he aquí mi conversión. Y no me olvidaré jamás del día en que diciéndole yo: «Pero, Don Manuel, la verdad, la verdad ante todo», él, temblando, me susurró al oído -y eso que estábamos solos en medio del campo-: «¿La verdad? La verdad, Lázaro, es acaso algo terrible, algo intolerable, algo mortal; la gente sencilla no podría vivir con ella». «¿Y por qué me la deja entrever ahora aquí, como en confesión?», le dije. Y él: «Porque si no, me atormentaría tanto, tanto, que acabaría gritándola en medio de la plaza, y eso jamás, jamás, jamás. Yo estoy para hacer vivir a las almas de mis feligreses, para hacerles felices, para hacerles que se sueñen inmortales y no para matarles. Lo que aquí hace falta es que vivan sanamente, que vivan en unanimidad de sentido, y con la verdad, con mi verdad, no vivirían. Que vivan. Y esto hace la Iglesia, hacerles vivir. ¿Religión verdadera? Todas las religiones son verdaderas en cuanto hacen vivir espiritualmente a los pueblos que las profesan, en cuanto les consuelan de haber tenido que nacer para morir, y para cada pueblo la religión más verdadera es la suya, la que le ha hecho. ¿Y la mía? La mía es consolarme en consolar a los demás, aunque el consuelo que les doy no sea el mío». Jamás olvidaré estas sus palabras. -¡Pero esa comunión tuya ha sido un sacrilegio! -me atreví a insinuar, arrepintiéndome al punto de haberlo insinuado.

-¿Sacrilegio? ¿Y él que me la dio? ¿Y sus misas?

-¡Qué martirio! -exclamé.

-Y ahora -añadió mi hermano- hay otro más para consolar al pueblo.

-¿Para engañarle? -le dije.

-Para engañarle no -me replicó-, sino para corroborarle en su fe.

-Y él, el pueblo -dije-, ¿cree de veras?

-¡Qué sé yo ...! Cree sin querer, por hábito, por tradición. Y lo que hace falta es no despertarle. Y que viva en su pobreza de sentimientos para que no adquiera torturas de lujo. ¡Bienaventurados los pobres de espíritu!

-Eso, hermano, lo has aprendido de Don Manuel. Y ahora, dime, ¿has cumplido aquello que le prometiste a nuestra madre cuando ella se nos iba a morir, aquello de que rezarías por ella?

-¡Pues no se lo había de cumplir! Pero ¿por quién me has tomado, hermana? ¿Me crees capaz de faltar a mi palabra, a una promesa solemne, y a una promesa hecha, y en el lecho de muerte, a una madre?

-¡Qué sé yo...! Pudiste querer engañarla para que muriese consolada.

-Es que si yo no hubiese cumplido la promesa viviría sin consuelo.

-¿Entonces?

-Cumplí la promesa y no he dejado de rezar ni un solo día por ella.

-¿Sólo por ella?

-Pues, ¿por quién más?

-¡Por ti mismo! Y de ahora en adelante, por Don Manuel.

Nos separamos para irnos cada uno a su cuarto, yo a llorar toda la noche, a pedir por la conversión de mi hermano y de Don Manuel, y él, Lázaro, no sé bien a qué.

Después de aquel día temblaba yo de encontrarme a solas con Don Manuel, a quien seguía asistiendo en sus piadosos menesteres. Y él pareció percatarse de mi estado íntimo y adivinar la causa. Y cuando al fin me acerqué a él en el tribunal de la penitencia -¿quién era el juez y quién el reo?-, los dos, él y yo, doblamos en silencio la cabeza y nos pusimos a llorar. Y fue él, Don Manuel, quien rompió el tremendo silencio para decirme con voz que parecía salir de una huesa:

-Pero tú, Angelina, tú crees como a los diez años, ¿no es así? ¿Tú crees?

-Sí creo, padre.

-Pues sigue creyendo. Y si se te ocurren dudas, cállatelas a ti misma. Hay que vivir... Me atreví, y toda temblorosa le dije:

-Pero usted, padre, ¿cree usted?

Vaciló un momento y, reponiéndose, me dijo:

-¡Creo!

-¿Pero en qué, padre, en qué? ¿Cree usted en la otra vida?, ¿cree usted que al morir no nos morimos del todo?, ¿cree que volveremos a vernos, a querernos en otro mundo venidero?, ¿cree en la otra vida? El pobre santo sollozaba.

-¡Mira, hija, dejemos eso!

Y ahora, al escribir esta memoria, me digo: ¿Por qué no me engañó?, ¿por qué no me engañó entonces como engañaba a los demás? ¿Por qué se acongojó? ¿Porque no podía engañarse a sí mismo, o porque no podía engañarme? Y quiero creer que se acongojaba porque no podía engañarse para engañarme.

-Y ahora -añadió-, reza por mí, por tu hermano, por ti misma, por todos. Hay que vivir. Y hay que dar vida.

Y después de una pausa:

-¿Y por qué no te casas, Angelina?

-Ya sabe usted, padre mío, por qué.

-Pero no, no; tienes que casarte. Entre Lázaro y yo te buscaremos un novio. Porque a ti te conviene casarte para que se te curen esas preocupaciones.

-¿Preocupaciones, Don Manuel?

-Yo sé bien lo que me digo. Y no te acongojes demasiado por los demás, que harto tiene cada cual con tener que responder de sí mismo.

-¡Y que sea usted, Don Manuel, el que me diga eso!, ¡que sea usted el que me aconseje que me case para responder de mí y no acuitarme por los demás!, ¡que sea usted! -Tienes razón, Angelina, no sé ya lo que me digo; no sé ya lo que me digo desde que estoy confesándome contigo. Y sí, sí, hay que vivir, hay que vivir.

Y cuando yo iba a levantarme para salir del templo, me dijo:

-Y ahora, Angelina, en nombre del pueblo, ¿me absuelves?

Me sentí como penetrada de un misterioso sacerdocio, y le dije:

-En nombre de Dios Padre, Hijo y Espíritu Santo, le absuelvo, padre.

Y salimos de la iglesia, y al salir se me estremecían las entrañas maternales. Mi hermano, puesto ya del todo al servicio de la obra de Don Manuel, era su más asiduo colaborador y compañero. Les anudaba, además, el común secreto. Le acompañaba en sus visitas a los enfermos, a las escuelas, y ponía su dinero a disposición del santo varón. Y poco faltó para que no aprendiera a ayudarle a misa. E iba entrando cada vez más en el alma insondable de Don Manuel. -¡Qué hombre! -me decía-. Mira, ayer, paseando a orillas del lago, me dijo: «He aquí mi tentación mayor». Y como yo le interrogase con la mirada, añadió: «Mi pobre padre, que murió de cerca de noventa años, se pasó la vida, según me lo confesó él mismo, torturado por la tentación del suicidio, que le venía no recordaba desde cuándo, de nación, decía, y defendiéndose de ella. Y esa defensa fue su vida. Para no sucumbir a tal tentación extremaba los cuidados por conservar la vida. Me contó escenas terribles. Me parecía como una locura. Y yo la he heredado. ¡Y cómo me llama esa agua que con su aparente quietud -la corriente va por dentro- espeja al cielo! ¡Mi vida, Lázaro, es una especie de suicidio continuo, un combate contra el suicidio, que es igual; pero que vivan ellos, que vivan los nuestros!». Y luego añadió: «Aquí se remansa el río en lago, para luego, bajando a la meseta, precipitarse en cascadas, saltos y torrenteras por las hoces y encañadas, junto a la ciudad, y así se remansa la vida, aquí, en la aldea. Pero la tentación del suicidio es mayor aquí, junto al remanso que espeja de noche las estrellas, que no junto a las cascadas que dan miedo. Mira, Lázaro, he asistido a bien morir a pobres aldeanos, ignorantes, analfabetos que apenas si habían salido de la aldea, y he podido saber de sus labios, y cuando no adivinarlo, la verdadera causa de su enfermedad de muerte, y he podido mirar, allí, a la cabecera de su lecho de muerte, toda la negrura de la sima del tedio de vivir. ¡Mil veces peor que el hambre! Sigamos, pues, Lázaro, suicidándonos en nuestra obra y en nuestro pueblo, y que sueñe este su vida como el lago sueña el cielo». -Otra vez -me decía también mi hermano-, cuando volvíamos acá, vimos una zagala, una cabrera, que enhiesta sobre un picacho de la falda de la montaña, a la vista del lago, estaba cantando con una voz más fresca que las aguas de este. Don Manuel me detuvo y señalándomela dijo: «Mira, parece como si se hubiera acabado el tiempo, como si esa zagala hubiese estado ahí siempre, y como está, y cantando como está, y como si hubiera de seguir estando así siempre, como estuvo cuando empezó mi conciencia, como estará cuando se me acabe. Esa zagala forma parte, con las rocas, las nubes, los árboles, las aguas, de la naturaleza y no de la historia». ¡Cómo siente, cómo anima Don Manuel a la naturaleza! Nunca olvidaré el día de la nevada en que me dijo: «¿Has visto, Lázaro, misterio mayor que el de la nieve cayendo en el lago y muriendo en él mientras cubre con su toca a la montaña?».

Don Manuel tenía que contener a mi hermano en su celo y en su inexperiencia de neófito. Y como supiese que este andaba predicando contra ciertas supersticiones populares, hubo de decirle:

-¡Déjalos! ¡Es tan difícil hacerles comprender dónde acaba la creencia ortodoxa y dónde empieza la superstición! Y más para nosotros. Déjalos, pues, mientras se consuelen. Vale más que lo crean todo, aun cosas contradictorias entre sí, a no que no crean nada. Eso de que el que cree demasiado acaba por no creer nada, es cosa de protestantes. No protestemos. La protesta mata el contento.

Una noche de plenilunio -me contaba también mi hermano- volvían a la aldea por la orilla del lago, a cuya sobrehaz rizaba entonces la brisa montañesa y en el rizo cabrilleaban las razas de la luna llena, y Don Manuel le dijo a Lázaro:

-¡Mira, el agua está rezando la letanía y ahora dice: ¡anua caeli, ora pro nobis, puerta del cielo, ruega por nosotros!

Y cayeron temblando de sus pestañas a la yerba del suelo dos huideras lágrimas en que también, como en rocío, se bañó temblorosa la lumbre de la luna llena.

E iba corriendo el tiempo y observábamos mi hermano y yo que las fuerzas de Don Manuel empezaban a decaer, que ya no lograba contener del todo la insondable tristeza que le consumía, que acaso una enfermedad traidora le iba minando el cuerpo y el alma. Y Lázaro, acaso para distraerle más, le propuso si no estaría bien que fundasen en la iglesia algo así como un sindicato católico agrario.

-¿Sindicato? -respondió tristemente Don Manuel-. ¿Sindicato? ¿Y qué es eso? Yo no conozco más sindicato que la Iglesia, y ya sabes aquello de «mi reino no es de este mundo». Nuestro reino, Lázaro, no es de este mundo...

-¿Y del otro?

Don Manuel bajó la cabeza:

-El otro, Lázaro, está aquí también, porque hay dos reinos en este mundo. O mejor, el otro mundo... Vamos, que no sé lo que me digo. Y en cuanto a eso del sindicato, es en ti un resabio de tu época de progresismo. No, Lázaro, no; la religión no es para resolver los conflictos económicos o políticos de este mundo que Dios entregó a las disputas de los hombres. Piensen los hombres y obren los hombres como pensaren y como obraren, que se consuelen de haber nacido, que vivan lo más contentos que puedan en la ilusión de que todo esto tiene una finalidad. Yo no he venido a someter los pobres a los ricos, ni a predicar a estos que se sometan a aquellos. Resignación y caridad en todos y para todos. Porque también el rico tiene que re- signarse a su riqueza, y a la vida, y también el pobre tiene que tener caridad para con el rico. ¿Cuestión social? Deja eso, eso no nos concierne. Que traen una nueva sociedad, en que no haya ya ricos ni pobres, en que esté justamente repartida la riqueza, en que todo sea de todos, ¿y qué? ¿Y no crees que del bienestar general surgirá más fuerte el tedio a la vida? Sí, ya sé que uno de esos caudillos de la que llaman la revolución social ha dicho que la religión es el opio del pueblo. Opio... Opio... Opio, sí. Démosle opio, y que duerma y que sueñe. Yo mismo con esta mi loca actividad me estoy administrando opio. Y no logro dormir bien y menos soñar bien... ¡Esta terrible pesadilla! Y yo también puedo decir con el Divino Maestro: «Mi alma está triste hasta la muerte». No, Lázaro; nada de sindicatos por nuestra parte. Si lo forman ellos me parecerá bien, pues que así se distraen. Que jueguen al sindicato, si eso les contenta.

El pueblo todo observó que a Don Manuel le menguaban las fuerzas, que se fatigaba. Su voz misma, aquella voz que era un milagro, adquirió un cierto temblor íntimo. Se le asomaban las lágrimas con cualquier motivo. Y sobre todo cuando hablaba al pueblo del otro mundo, de la otra vida, tenía que detenerse a ratos cerrando los ojos. «Es que lo está viendo», decían. Y en aquellos momentos era Blasillo el bobo el que con más cuajo lloraba. Porque ya Blasillo lloraba más que reía, y hasta sus risas sonaban a lloros.

Al llegar la última Semana de Pasión que con nosotros, en nuestro mundo, en nuestra aldea celebró Don Manuel, el pueblo todo presintió el fin de la tragedia. ¡Y cómo sonó entonces aquel: «¡Dios mío, Dios mío!, ¿por qué me has abandonado?», el último que en público sollozó Don Manuel! Y cuando dijo lo del Divino Maestro al buen bandolero -«todos los bandoleros son buenos», solía decir nuestro Don Manuel-, aquello de: «Mañana estarás conmigo en el paraíso». ¡Y la última comunión general que repartió nuestro santo! Cuando llegó a dársela a mi hermano, esta vez con mano segura, después del litúrgico «.,. in vitam aetemam», se le inclinó al oído y le dijo: «No hay más vida eterna que esta... que la sueñen eterna... eterna de unos pocos años...». Y cuando me la dio a mí me dijo: «Reza, hija mía, reza por nosotros». Y luego, algo tan extraordinario que lo llevo en el corazón como el más grande misterio, y fue que me dijo con voz que parecía de otro mundo: «... y reza también por Nuestro Señor Jesucristo...».
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by Crazylegs »

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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by F/K/A HAPF »

Me levanté sin fuerzas y como sonámbula. Y todo en torno me pareció un sueño. Y pensé: «Habré de rezar también por el lago y por la montaña». Y luego: «¿Es que estaré endemoniada?». Y en casa ya, cogí el crucifijo con el cual en las manos había entregado a Dios su alma mi madre, y mirándolo a través de mis lágrimas y recordando el «¡Dios mío, Dios mío!, ¿por qué me has abandonado?» de nuestros dos Cristos, el de esta tierra y el de esta aldea, recé: «hágase tu voluntad, así en la tierra como en el cielo», primero, y después: «Y no nos dejes caer en la tentación, amén». Luego me volví a aquella imagen de la Dolorosa, con su corazón traspasado por siete espadas, que había sido el más doloroso consuelo de mi pobre madre, y recé: «Santa María, madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros, pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte, amén». Y apenas lo había rezado cuando me dije: «¿pecadores?, ¿nosotros pecadores?, ¿y cuál es nuestro pecado, cuál?». Y anduve todo el día acongojada por esta pregunta. Al día siguiente acudí a Don Manuel, que iba adquiriendo una solemnidad de religioso ocaso, y le dije:

-¿Recuerda, padre mío, cuando hace ya años, al dirigirle yo una pregunta me contestó: «Eso no me lo preguntéis a mí, que soy ignorante; doctores tiene la Santa Madre Iglesia que os sabrán responder»?

-¡Que si me acuerdo!... y me acuerdo que te dije que esas eran preguntas que te dictaba el Demonio.

-Pues bien, padre, hoy vuelvo yo, la endemoniada, a dirigirle otra pregunta que me dicta mi demonio de la guarda.

-Pregunta.

-Ayer, al darme de comulgar, me pidió que rezara por todos nosotros y hasta por...

-Bien, cállalo y sigue.

-Llegué a casa y me puse a rezar, y al llegar a aquello de «ruega por nosotros, pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte», una voz íntima me dijo: «¿pecadores?, ¿pecadores nosotros?, ¿y cuál es nuestro pecado?». ¿Cuál es nuestro pecado, padre?

-¿Cuál? -me respondió-. Ya lo dijo un gran doctor de la Iglesia Católica Apostólica Española, ya lo dijo el gran doctor de La vida es sueño, ya dijo que «el delito mayor del hombre es haber nacido». Ese es, hija, nuestro pecado: el de haber nacido.

-¿Y se cura, padre?

-¡Vete y vuelve a rezar! Vuelve a rezar por nosotros, pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte... Sí, al fin se cura el sueño..., al fin se cura la vida..., al fin se acaba la cruz del nacimiento... Y como dijo Calderón, el hacer bien, y el engañar bien, ni aun en sueños se pierde...

Y la hora de su muerte llegó por fin. Todo el pueblo la veía llegar. Y fue su más grande lección. No quiso morirse ni solo ni ocioso. Se murió predicando al pueblo, en el templo. Primero, antes de mandar que le llevasen a él, pues no podía ya moverse por la perlesía, nos llamó a su casa a Lázaro y a mí. Y allí, los tres a solas, nos dijo:

-Oíd: cuidad de estas pobres ovejas, que se consuelen de vivir, que crean lo que yo no he podido creer. Y tú, Lázaro, cuando hayas de morir, muere como yo, como morirá nuestra Ángela, en el seno de la Santa Madre Católica Apostólica Romana, de la Santa Madre Iglesia de Valverde de Lucerna, bien entendido. Y hasta nunca más ver, pues se acaba este sueño de la vida...

-¡Padre, padre! -gemí yo.

-No te aflijas, Angela, y sigue rezando por todos los pecadores, por todos los nacidos. Y que sueñen, que sueñen. ¡Qué ganas tengo de dormir, dormir, dormir sin fin, dormir por toda una eternidad y sin soñar!, ¡olvidando el sueño! Cuando me entierren, que sea en una caja hecha con aquellas seis tablas que tallé del viejo nogal, ¡pobrecito!, a cuya sombra jugué de niño, cuando empezaba a soñar... ¡Y entonces sí que creía en la vida perdurable! Es decir, me figuro ahora que creía entonces. Para un niño creer no es más que soñar. Y para un pueblo. Esas seis tablas que tallé con mis propias manos, las encontraréis al pie de mi cama.

Le dio un ahogo y, repuesto de él, prosiguió:

-Recordaréis que cuando rezábamos todos en uno, en unanimidad de sentido, hechos pueblo, el Credo, al llegar al final yo me callaba. Cuando los israelitas iban llegando al fin de su peregrinación por el desierto, el Señor les dijo a Aarón y a Moisés que por no haberle creído no meterían a su pueblo en la tierra prometida, y les hizo subir al monte de Hor, donde Moisés hizo desnudar a Aarón, que allí murió, y luego subió Moisés desde las llanuras de Moab al monte Nebo, a la cumbre de Fasga, enfrente de Jericó, y el Señor le mostró toda la tierra prometida a su pueblo, pero diciéndole a él: «¡No pasarás allá!», y allí murió Moisés y nadie supo su sepultura. Y dejó por caudillo a Josué. Sé tú, Lázaro, mi Josué, y si puedes detener el Sol, deténle, y no te importe del progreso. Como Moisés, he conocido al Señor, nuestro supremo ensueño, cara a cara, y ya sabes que dice la Escritura que el que le ve la cara a Dios, que el que le ve al sueño los ojos de la cara con que nos mira, se muere sin remedio y para siempre. Que no le vea, pues, la cara a Dios este nuestro pueblo mientras viva, que después de muerto ya no hay cuidado, pues no verá nada...

-¡Padre, padre, padre! -volví a gemir.

Y él:

-Tú, Ángela, reza siempre, sigue rezando para que los pecadores todos sueñen hasta morir la resurrección de la carne y la vida perdurable...

Yo esperaba un «¿y quién sabe...?», cuando le dio otro ahogo a Don Manuel.

-Y ahora -añadió-, ahora, en la hora de mi muerte, es hora de que hagáis que se me lleve, en este mismo sillón, a la iglesia para despedirme allí de mi pueblo, que me espera.

Se le llevó a la iglesia y se le puso, en el sillón, en el presbiterio, al pie del altar. Tenía entre sus manos un crucifijo. Mi hermano y yo nos pusimos junto a él, pero fue Blasillo el bobo quien más se arrimó. Quería coger de la mano a Don Manuel, besársela. Y como algunos trataran de impedírselo, Don Manuel les reprendió diciéndoles:

-Dejadle que se me acerque. Ven, Blasillo, dame la mano.

El bobo lloraba de alegría. Y luego Don Manuel dijo:

-Muy pocas palabras, hijos míos, pues apenas me siento con fuerzas sino para morir. Y nada nuevo tengo que deciros. Ya os lo dije todo. Vivid en paz y contentos y esperando que todos nos veamos un día en la Valverde de Lucerna que hay allí, entre las estrellas de la noche que se reflejan en el lago, sobre la montaña. Y rezad, rezad a María Santísima, rezad a Nuestro Señor. Sed buenos, que esto basta. Perdonadme el mal que haya podido haceros sin quererlo y sin saberlo. Y ahora, después de que os dé mi bendición, rezad todos a una el Padrenuestro, el Ave María, la Salve, y por último el Credo.

Luego, con el crucifijo que tenía en la mano dio la bendición al pueblo, llorando las mujeres y los niños y no pocos hombres, y en seguida empezaron las oraciones, que Don Manuel oía en silencio y cogido de la mano por Blasillo, que al son del ruego se iba durmiendo. Primero el Padrenuestro con su «hágase tu voluntad así en la tierra como en el cielo», luego el Santa María con su «ruega por nosotros, pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte», a seguida la Salve con su «gimiendo y llorando en este valle de lágrimas», y por último el Credo. Y al llegar a la «resurrección de la carne y la vida perdurable», todo el pueblo sintió que su santo había entregado su alma a Dios. Y no hubo que cerrarle los ojos, porque se murió con ellos cerrados. Y al ir a despertar a Blasillo nos encontramos con que se había dormido en el Señor para siempre. Así que hubo luego que enterrar dos cuerpos. El pueblo todo se fue en seguida a la casa del santo a recoger reliquias, a repartirse retazos de sus vestiduras, a llevarse lo que pudieran como reliquia y recuerdo del bendito mártir. Mi hermano guardó su breviario, entre cuyas hojas encontró, desecada y como en un herbario, una clavellina pegada a un papel y en este una cruz con una fecha.

Nadie en el pueblo quiso creer en la muerte de Don Manuel; todos esperaban verle a diario, y acaso le veían, pasar a lo largo del lago y espejado en él o teniendo por fondo las montañas; todos seguían oyendo su voz, y todos acudían a su sepultura, en torno a la cual surgió todo un culto. Las endemoniadas venían ahora a tocar la cruz de nogal, hecha también por sus manos y sacada del mismo árbol de donde sacó las seis tablas en que fue enterrado. Y los que menos queríamos creer que se hubiese muerto éramos mi hermano y yo. Él, Lázaro, continuaba la tradición del santo y empezó a redactar lo que le había oído, notas de que me he servido para esta mi memoria.

-Él me hizo un hombre nuevo, un verdadero Lázaro, un resucitado -me decía-. Él me dio fe.

-¿Fe? -le interrumpía yo.

-Sí, fe, fe en el consuelo de la vida, fe en el contento de la vida. Él me curó de mi progresismo. Porque hay, Angela, dos clases de hombres peligrosos y nocivos: los que convencidos de la vida de ultratumba, de la resurrección de la carne, atormentan, como inquisidores que son, a los demás para que, despreciando esta vida como transitoria, se ganen la otra, y los que no creyendo más que en este...

-Como acaso tú... -le decía yo.

-Y sí, y como Don Manuel. Pero no creyendo más que en este mundo, esperan no sé qué sociedad futura, y se esfuerzan en negarle al pueblo el consuelo de creer en otro...

-De modo que...

-De modo que hay que hacer que vivan de la ilusión.

El pobre cura que llegó a sustituir a Don Manuel en el curato entró en Valverde de Lucerna abrumado por el recuerdo del santo y se entregó a mi hermano y a mí para que le guiásemos. No quería sino seguir las huellas del santo. Y mi hermano le decía: «Poca teología, ¿eh?, poca teología; religión, religión». Y yo al oírselo me sonreía pensando si es que no era también teología lo nuestro. Yo empecé entonces a temer por mi pobre hermano. Desde que se nos murió Don Manuel no cabía decir que viviese. Visitaba a diario su tumba y se pasaba horas muertas contemplando el lago. Sentía morriña de la paz verdadera.

-No mires tanto al lago -le decía yo.

-No, hermana, no temas. Es otro el lago que me llama; es otra la montaña. No puedo vivir sin él.

-¿Y el contento de vivir, Lázaro, el contento de vivir?

-Eso para otros pecadores, no para nosotros, que le hemos visto la cara a Dios, a quienes nos ha mirado con sus ojos el sueño de la vida.

-¿Qué, te preparas a ir a ver a Don Manuel?

-No, hermana, no; ahora y aquí en casa, entre nosotros solos, toda la verdad por amarga que sea, amarga como el mar a que van a parar las aguas de este dulce lago, toda la verdad para ti, que estás abroquelada contra ella...

-¡No, no, Lázaro; esa no es la verdad!

-La mía, sí.

-La tuya, ¿pero y la de...?

-También la de él.

-¡Ahora no, Lázaro; ahora no! Ahora cree otra cosa, ahora cree...

-Mira, Ángela, una de las veces en que al decirme Don Manuel que hay cosas que aunque se las diga uno a sí mismo debe callárselas a los demás, le repliqué que me decía eso por decírselas a él, esas mismas, a sí mismo, y acabó confesándome que creía que más de uno de los más grandes santos, acaso el mayor, había muerto sin creer en la otra vida.

-¿Es posible?

-¡Y tan posible! Y ahora, hermana, cuida que no sospechen siquiera aquí, en el pueblo, nuestro secreto...

-¿Sospecharlo? -le dije-. Si intentase, por locura, explicárselo, no lo entenderían. El pueblo no entiende de palabras; el pueblo no ha entendido más que vuestras obras. Querer exponerles eso sería como leer a unos ni- ños de ocho años unas páginas de santo Tomás de Aquino... en latín.

-Bueno, pues cuando yo me vaya, reza por mí y por él y por todos. Y por fin le llegó también su hora. Una enfermedad que iba minando su robusta naturaleza pareció exacerbársele con la muerte de Don Manuel.

-No siento tanto tener que morir -me decía en sus últimos días-, como que conmigo se muere otro pedazo del alma de Don Manuel. Pero lo demás de él vivirá contigo. Hasta que un día hasta los muertos nos moriremos del todo.

Cuando se hallaba agonizando entraron, como se acostumbra en nuestras aldeas, los del pueblo a verle agonizar, y encomendaban su alma a Don Manuel, a san Manuel Bueno, el mártir. Mi hermano no les dijo nada, no tenía ya nada que decirles; les dejaba dicho todo, todo lo que queda dicho. Era otra laña más entre las dos Valverdes de Lucerna, la del fondo del lago y la que en su sobrehaz se mira; era ya uno de nuestros muertos de vida, uno también, a su modo, de nuestros santos. Quedé más que desolada, pero en mi pueblo y con mi pueblo. Y ahora, al haber perdido a mi san Manuel, al padre de mi alma, y a mi Lázaro, mi hermano aún más que carnal, espiritual, ahora es cuando me doy cuenta de que he envejecido y de cómo he envejecido. Pero ¿es que los he perdido?, ¿es que he envejecido?, ¿es que me acerco a mi muerte?

¡Hay que vivir! Y él me enseñó a vivir, él nos enseñó a vivir, a sentir la vida, a sentir el sentido de la vida, a sumergirnos en el alma de la montaña, en el alma del lago, en el alma del pueblo de la aldea, a perdernos en ellas para quedar en ellas. Él me enseñó con su vida a perderme en la vida del pueblo de mi aldea, y no sentía yo más pasar las horas, y los días y los años, que no sentía pasar el agua del lago. Me parecía como si mi vida hubiese de ser siempre igual. No me sentía envejecer. No vivía yo ya en mí, sino que vivía en mi pueblo y mi pueblo vivía en mí. Yo quería decir lo que ellos, los míos, decían sin querer. Salía a la calle, que era la carretera, y como conocía a todos, vivía en ellos y me olvidaba de mí, mientras que en Madrid, donde estuve alguna vez con mi hermano, como a nadie conocía, sentíame en terrible soledad y torturada por tantos desconocidos.

Y ahora, al escribir esta memoria, esta confesión íntima de mi experiencia de la santidad ajena, creo que Don Manuel Bueno, que mi san Manuel y que mi hermano Lázaro se murieron creyendo no creer lo que más nos interesa, pero sin creer creerlo, creyéndolo en una desolación activa y resignada. Pero ¿por qué -me he preguntado muchas veces- no trató Don Manuel de convertir a mi hermano también con un engaño, con una mentira, fingiéndose creyente sin serlo? Y he comprendido que fue porque comprendió que no le engañaría, que para con él no le serviría el engaño, que sólo con la verdad, con su verdad, le convertiría; que no habría conseguido nada si hubiese pretendido representar para con él una comedia -tragedia más bien-, la que representaba para salvar al pueblo. Y así le ganó, en efecto, para su piadoso fraude; así le ganó con la verdad de muerte a la razón de vida. Y así me ganó a mí, que nunca dejé transparentar a los otros su divino, su santísimo juego. Y es que creía y creo que Dios Nuestro Señor, por no sé qué sagrados y no escrudiñaderos designios, les hizo creerse incrédulos. Y que acaso en el acabamiento de su tránsito se les cayó la venda. ¿Y yo, creo?

Y al escribir esto ahora, aquí, en mi vieja casa materna, a mis más que cincuenta años, cuando empiezan a blanquear con mi cabeza mis recuerdos, está nevando, nevando sobre el lago, nevando sobre la montaña, nevando sobre las memorias de mi padre, el forastero; de mi madre, de mi hermano Lázaro, de mi pueblo, de mi san Manuel, y también sobre la memoria del pobre Blasillo, de mi san Blasillo, y que él me ampare desde el cielo. Y esta nieve borra esquinas y borra sombras, pues hasta de noche la nieve alumbra. Y yo no sé lo que es verdad y lo que es mentira, ni lo que vi y lo que soñé -o mejor lo que soñé y lo que sólo vi-, ni lo que supe ni lo que creí. No sé si estoy traspasando a este papel, tan blanco como la nieve, mi conciencia que en él se ha de quedar, quedándome yo sin ella. ¿Para qué tenerla ya...? ¿Es que sé algo?, ¿es que creo algo? ¿Es que esto que estoy aquí contando ha pasado y ha pasado tal y como lo cuento? ¿Es que pueden pasar estas cosas? ¿Es que todo esto es más que un sueño soñado dentro de otro sueño? ¿Seré yo, Angela Carballino, hoy cincuentona, la única persona que en esta aldea se ve acometida de estos pensamientos extraños para los demás? ¿Y estos, los otros, los que me rodean, creen? ¿Qué es eso de creer? Por lo menos, viven. Y ahora creen en san Manuel Bueno, mártir, que sin esperar inmortalidad les mantuvo en la esperanza de ella.

Parece que el ilustrísimo señor obispo, el que ha promovido el proceso de beatificación de nuestro santo de Valverde de Lucerna, se propone escribir su vida, una especie de manual del perfecto párroco, y recoge para ello toda clase de noticias. A mí me las ha pedido con insistencia, ha tenido entrevistas conmigo, le he dado toda clase de datos, pero me he callado siempre el secreto trágico de Don Manuel y de mi hermano. Y es curioso que él no lo haya sospechado. Y confío en que no llegue a su conocimiento todo lo que en esta memoria dejo consignado. Les temo a las autoridades de la tierra, a las autoridades temporales, aunque sean las de la Iglesia.

Pero aquí queda esto, y sea de su suerte lo que fuere.

¿Cómo vino a parar a mis manos este documento, esta memoria de Ángela Carballino? He aquí algo, lector, algo que debo guardar en secreto. Te la doy tal y como a mí ha llegado, sin más que corregir pocas, muy pocas particularidades de redacción. ¿Que se parece mucho a otras cosas que yo he escrito? Esto nada prueba contra su objetividad, su originalidad. ¿Y sé yo, además, si no he creado fuera de mí seres reales y efectivos, de alma inmortal? ¿Sé yo si aquel Augusto Pérez, el de mi novela Niebla, no tenía razón al pretender ser más real, más objetivo que yo mismo, que creía haberle inventado? De la realidad de este san Manuel Bueno, mártir, tal como me la ha revelado su discípula e hija espiritual Angela Carballino, de esta realidad no se me ocurre dudar. Creo en ella más que creía el mismo santo; creo en ella más que creo en mi propia realidad.

Y ahora, antes de cerrar este epílogo, quiero recordarte, lector paciente, el versillo noveno de la Epístola del olvidado apóstol San Judas -¡lo que hace un nombre!-, donde se nos dice cómo mi celestial patrono, san Miguel Arcángel -Miguel quiere decir «¿Quién como Dios?», y arcángel, archimensajero-, disputó con el diablo -diablo quiere decir acusador, fiscal- por el cuerpo de Moisés y no toleró que se lo llevase en juicio de maldición, sino que le dijo al diablo: «El Señor te reprenda». Y el que quiera entender que entienda. Quiero también, ya que Ángela Carballino mezcló a su relato sus propios sentimientos, ni sé que otra cosa quepa, comentar yo aquí lo que ella dejó dicho de que si Don Manuel y su discípulo Lázaro hubiesen confesado al pueblo su estado de creencia, este, el pueblo, no les habría entendido. Ni les habría creído, añado yo. Habrían creído a sus obras y no a sus palabras, porque las palabras no sirven para apoyar las obras, sino que las obras se bastan. Y para un pueblo como el de Valverde de Lucerna no hay más confesión que la conducta. Ni sabe el pueblo qué cosa es fe, ni acaso le importa mucho. Bien sé que en lo que se cuenta en este relato, si se quiere novelesco -y la novela es la más íntima historia, la más verdadera, por lo que no me explico que haya quien se indigne de que se llame novela al Evangelio, lo que es elevarle, en realidad, sobre un cronicón cualquiera-, bien sé que en lo que se cuenta en este relato no pasa nada; mas espero que sea porque en ello todo se queda, como se quedan los lagos y las montañas y las santas almas sencillas asentadas más allá de la fe y de la desesperación, que en ellos, en los lagos y las montañas, fuera de la historia, en divina novela, se cobijaron.
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by FrankStalone »

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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by jakebonz@work »

Book VI

So here Ulysses slept, overcome by sleep and toil; but Minerva went off to the country and city of the Phaecians- a people who used to live in the fair town of Hypereia, near the lawless Cyclopes. Now the Cyclopes were stronger than they and plundered them, so their king Nausithous moved them thence and settled them in Scheria, far from all other people. He surrounded the city with a wall, built houses and temples, and divided the lands among his people; but he was dead and gone to the house of Hades, and King Alcinous, whose counsels were inspired of heaven, was now reigning. To his house, then, did Minerva hie in furtherance of the return of Ulysses.

She went straight to the beautifully decorated bedroom in which there slept a girl who was as lovely as a goddess, Nausicaa, daughter to King Alcinous. Two maid servants were sleeping near her, both very pretty, one on either side of the doorway, which was closed with well-made folding doors. Minerva took the form of the famous sea captain Dymas's daughter, who was a bosom friend of Nausicaa and just her own age; then, coming up to the girl's bedside like a breath of wind, she hovered over her head and said:

"Nausicaa, what can your mother have been about, to have such a lazy daughter? Here are your clothes all lying in disorder, yet you are going to be married almost immediately, and should not only be well dressed yourself, but should find good clothes for those who attend you. This is the way to get yourself a good name, and to make your father and mother proud of you. Suppose, then, that we make tomorrow a washing day, and start at daybreak. I will come and help you so that you may have everything ready as soon as possible, for all the best young men among your own people are courting you, and you are not going to remain a maid much longer. Ask your father, therefore, to have a waggon and mules ready for us at daybreak, to take the rugs, robes, and girdles; and you can ride, too, which will be much pleasanter for you than walking, for the washing-cisterns are some way from the town."

When she had said this Minerva went away to Olympus, which they say is the everlasting home of the gods. Here no wind beats roughly, and neither rain nor snow can fall; but it abides in everlasting sunshine and in a great peacefulness of light, wherein the blessed gods are illumined for ever and ever. This was the place to which the goddess went when she had given instructions to the girl.

By and by morning came and woke Nausicaa, who began wondering about her dream; she therefore went to the other end of the house to tell her father and mother all about it, and found them in their own room. Her mother was sitting by the fireside spinning her purple yarn with her maids around her, and she happened to catch her father just as he was going out to attend a meeting of the town council, which the Phaeacian aldermen had convened. She stopped him and said:

"Papa dear, could you manage to let me have a good big waggon? I want to take all our dirty clothes to the river and wash them. You are the chief man here, so it is only right that you should have a clean shirt when you attend meetings of the council. Moreover, you have five sons at home, two of them married, while the other three are good-looking bachelors; you know they always like to have clean linen when they go to a dance, and I have been thinking about all this."

She did not say a word about her own wedding, for she did not like to, but her father knew and said, "You shall have the mules, my love, and whatever else you have a mind for. Be off with you, and the men shall get you a good strong waggon with a body to it that will hold all your clothes."

On this he gave his orders to the servants, who got the waggon out, harnessed the mules, and put them to, while the girl brought the clothes down from the linen room and placed them on the waggon. Her mother prepared her a basket of provisions with all sorts of good things, and a goat skin full of wine; the girl now got into the waggon, and her mother gave her also a golden cruse of oil, that she and her women might anoint themselves. Then she took the whip and reins and lashed the mules on, whereon they set off, and their hoofs clattered on the road. They pulled without flagging, and carried not only Nausicaa and her wash of clothes, but the maids also who were with her.

When they reached the water side they went to the washing-cisterns, through which there ran at all times enough pure water to wash any quantity of linen, no matter how dirty. Here they unharnessed the mules and turned them out to feed on the sweet juicy herbage that grew by the water side. They took the clothes out of the waggon, put them in the water, and vied with one another in treading them in the pits to get the dirt out. After they had washed them and got them quite clean, they laid them out by the sea side, where the waves had raised a high beach of shingle, and set about washing themselves and anointing themselves with olive oil. Then they got their dinner by the side of the stream, and waited for the sun to finish drying the clothes. When they had done dinner they threw off the veils that covered their heads and began to play at ball, while Nausicaa sang for them. As the huntress Diana goes forth upon the mountains of Taygetus or Erymanthus to hunt wild boars or deer, and the wood-nymphs, daughters of Aegis-bearing Jove, take their sport along with her (then is Leto proud at seeing her daughter stand a full head taller than the others, and eclipse the loveliest amid a whole bevy of beauties), even so did the girl outshine her handmaids.

When it was time for them to start home, and they were folding the clothes and putting them into the waggon, Minerva began to consider how Ulysses should wake up and see the handsome girl who was to conduct him to the city of the Phaeacians. The girl, therefore, threw a ball at one of the maids, which missed her and fell into deep water. On this they all shouted, and the noise they made woke Ulysses, who sat up in his bed of leaves and began to wonder what it might all be.

"Alas," said he to himself, "what kind of people have I come amongst? Are they cruel, savage, and uncivilized, or hospitable and humane? I seem to hear the voices of young women, and they sound like those of the nymphs that haunt mountain tops, or springs of rivers and meadows of green grass. At any rate I am among a race of men and women. Let me try if I cannot manage to get a look at them."

As he said this he crept from under his bush, and broke off a bough covered with thick leaves to hide his nakedness. He looked like some lion of the wilderness that stalks about exulting in his strength and defying both wind and rain; his eyes glare as he prowls in quest of oxen, sheep, or deer, for he is famished, and will dare break even into a well-fenced homestead, trying to get at the sheep- even such did Ulysses seem to the young women, as he drew near to them all naked as he was, for he was in great want. On seeing one so unkempt and so begrimed with salt water, the others scampered off along the spits that jutted out into the sea, but the daughter of Alcinous stood firm, for Minerva put courage into her heart and took away all fear from her. She stood right in front of Ulysses, and he doubted whether he should go up to her, throw himself at her feet, and embrace her knees as a suppliant, or stay where he was and entreat her to give him some clothes and show him the way to the town. In the end he deemed it best to entreat her from a distance in case the girl should take offence at his coming near enough to clasp her knees, so he addressed her in honeyed and persuasive language.

"O queen," he said, "I implore your aid- but tell me, are you a goddess or are you a mortal woman? If you are a goddess and dwell in heaven, I can only conjecture that you are Jove's daughter Diana, for your face and figure resemble none but hers; if on the other hand you are a mortal and live on earth, thrice happy are your father and mother- thrice happy, too, are your brothers and sisters; how proud and delighted they must feel when they see so fair a scion as yourself going out to a dance; most happy, however, of all will he be whose wedding gifts have been the richest, and who takes you to his own home. I never yet saw any one so beautiful, neither man nor woman, and am lost in admiration as I behold you. I can only compare you to a young palm tree which I saw when I was at Delos growing near the altar of Apollo- for I was there, too, with much people after me, when I was on that journey which has been the source of all my troubles. Never yet did such a young plant shoot out of the ground as that was, and I admired and wondered at it exactly as I now admire and wonder at yourself. I dare not clasp your knees, but I am in great distress; yesterday made the twentieth day that I had been tossing about upon the sea. The winds and waves have taken me all the way from the Ogygian island, and now fate has flung me upon this coast that I may endure still further suffering; for I do not think that I have yet come to the end of it, but rather that heaven has still much evil in store for me.

"And now, O queen, have pity upon me, for you are the first person I have met, and I know no one else in this country. Show me the way to your town, and let me have anything that you may have brought hither to wrap your clothes in. May heaven grant you in all things your heart's desire- husband, house, and a happy, peaceful home; for there is nothing better in this world than that man and wife should be of one mind in a house. It discomfits their enemies, makes the hearts of their friends glad, and they themselves know more about it than any one."

To this Nausicaa answered, "Stranger, you appear to be a sensible, well-disposed person. There is no accounting for luck; Jove gives prosperity to rich and poor just as he chooses, so you must take what he has seen fit to send you, and make the best of it. Now, however, that you have come to this our country, you shall not want for clothes nor for anything else that a foreigner in distress may reasonably look for. I will show you the way to the town, and will tell you the name of our people; we are called Phaeacians, and I am daughter to Alcinous, in whom the whole power of the state is vested."

Then she called her maids and said, "Stay where you are, you girls. Can you not see a man without running away from him? Do you take him for a robber or a murderer? Neither he nor any one else can come here to do us Phaeacians any harm, for we are dear to the gods, and live apart on a land's end that juts into the sounding sea, and have nothing to do with any other people. This is only some poor man who has lost his way, and we must be kind to him, for strangers and foreigners in distress are under Jove's protection, and will take what they can get and be thankful; so, girls, give the poor fellow something to eat and drink, and wash him in the stream at some place that is sheltered from the wind."

On this the maids left off running away and began calling one another back. They made Ulysses sit down in the shelter as Nausicaa had told them, and brought him a shirt and cloak. They also brought him the little golden cruse of oil, and told him to go wash in the stream. But Ulysses said, "Young women, please to stand a little on one side that I may wash the brine from my shoulders and anoint myself with oil, for it is long enough since my skin has had a drop of oil upon it. I cannot wash as long as you all keep standing there. I am ashamed to strip before a number of good-looking young women."

Then they stood on one side and went to tell the girl, while Ulysses washed himself in the stream and scrubbed the brine from his back and from his broad shoulders. When he had thoroughly washed himself, and had got the brine out of his hair, he anointed himself with oil, and put on the clothes which the girl had given him; Minerva then made him look taller and stronger than before, she also made the hair grow thick on the top of his head, and flow down in curls like hyacinth blossoms; she glorified him about the head and shoulders as a skilful workman who has studied art of all kinds under Vulcan and Minerva enriches a piece of silver plate by gilding it- and his work is full of beauty. Then he went and sat down a little way off upon the beach, looking quite young and handsome, and the girl gazed on him with admiration; then she said to her maids:

"Hush, my dears, for I want to say something. I believe the gods who live in heaven have sent this man to the Phaeacians. When I first saw him I thought him plain, but now his appearance is like that of the gods who dwell in heaven. I should like my future husband to be just such another as he is, if he would only stay here and not want to go away. However, give him something to eat and drink."

They did as they were told, and set food before Ulysses, who ate and drank ravenously, for it was long since he had had food of any kind. Meanwhile, Nausicaa bethought her of another matter. She got the linen folded and placed in the waggon, she then yoked the mules, and, as she took her seat, she called Ulysses:

"Stranger," said she, "rise and let us be going back to the town; I will introduce you at the house of my excellent father, where I can tell you that you will meet all the best people among the Phaecians. But be sure and do as I bid you, for you seem to be a sensible person. As long as we are going past the fields- and farm lands, follow briskly behind the waggon along with the maids and I will lead the way myself. Presently, however, we shall come to the town, where you will find a high wall running all round it, and a good harbour on either side with a narrow entrance into the city, and the ships will be drawn up by the road side, for every one has a place where his own ship can lie. You will see the market place with a temple of Neptune in the middle of it, and paved with large stones bedded in the earth. Here people deal in ship's gear of all kinds, such as cables and sails, and here, too, are the places where oars are made, for the Phaeacians are not a nation of archers; they know nothing about bows and arrows, but are a sea-faring folk, and pride themselves on their masts, oars, and ships, with which they travel far over the sea.

"I am afraid of the gossip and scandal that may be set on foot against me later on; for the people here are very ill-natured, and some low fellow, if he met us, might say, 'Who is this fine-looking stranger that is going about with Nausicaa? Where did she End him? I suppose she is going to marry him. Perhaps he is a vagabond sailor whom she has taken from some foreign vessel, for we have no neighbours; or some god has at last come down from heaven in answer to her prayers, and she is going to live with him all the rest of her life. It would be a good thing if she would take herself of I for sh and find a husband somewhere else, for she will not look at one of the many excellent young Phaeacians who are in with her.' This is the kind of disparaging remark that would be made about me, and I could not complain, for I should myself be scandalized at seeing any other girl do the like, and go about with men in spite of everybody, while her father and mother were still alive, and without having been married in the face of all the world.

"If, therefore, you want my father to give you an escort and to help you home, do as I bid you; you will see a beautiful grove of poplars by the road side dedicated to Minerva; it has a well in it and a meadow all round it. Here my father has a field of rich garden ground, about as far from the town as a man' voice will carry. Sit down there and wait for a while till the rest of us can get into the town and reach my father's house. Then, when you think we must have done this, come into the town and ask the way to the house of my father Alcinous. You will have no difficulty in finding it; any child will point it out to you, for no one else in the whole town has anything like such a fine house as he has. When you have got past the gates and through the outer court, go right across the inner court till you come to my mother. You will find her sitting by the fire and spinning her purple wool by firelight. It is a fine sight to see her as she leans back against one of the bearing-posts with her maids all ranged behind her. Close to her seat stands that of my father, on which he sits and topes like an immortal god. Never mind him, but go up to my mother, and lay your hands upon her knees if you would get home quickly. If you can gain her over, you may hope to see your own country again, no matter how distant it may be."

So saying she lashed the mules with her whip and they left the river. The mules drew well and their hoofs went up and down upon the road. She was careful not to go too fast for Ulysses and the maids who were following on foot along with the waggon, so she plied her whip with judgement. As the sun was going down they came to the sacred grove of Minerva, and there Ulysses sat down and prayed to the mighty daughter of Jove.

"Hear me," he cried, "daughter of Aegis-bearing Jove, unweariable, hear me now, for you gave no heed to my prayers when Neptune was wrecking me. Now, therefore, have pity upon me and grant that I may find friends and be hospitably received by the Phaecians."

Thus did he pray, and Minerva heard his prayer, but she would not show herself to him openly, for she was afraid of her uncle Neptune, who was still furious in his endeavors to prevent Ulysses from getting home.
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

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oh look, jake! :mastoman:
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by jakebonz@work »

Book VII

Thus, then, did Ulysses wait and pray; but the girl drove on to the town. When she reached her father's house she drew up at the gateway, and her brothers- comely as the gods- gathered round her, took the mules out of the waggon, and carried the clothes into the house, while she went to her own room, where an old servant, Eurymedusa of Apeira, lit the fire for her. This old woman had been brought by sea from Apeira, and had been chosen as a prize for Alcinous because he was king over the Phaecians, and the people obeyed him as though he were a god. She had been nurse to Nausicaa, and had now lit the fire for her, and brought her supper for her into her own room.

Presently Ulysses got up to go towards the town; and Minerva shed a thick mist all round him to hide him in case any of the proud Phaecians who met him should be rude to him, or ask him who he was. Then, as he was just entering the town, she came towards him in the likeness of a little girl carrying a pitcher. She stood right in front of him, and Ulysses said:

"My dear, will you be so kind as to show me the house of king Alcinous? I am an unfortunate foreigner in distress, and do not know one in your town and country."

Then Minerva said, "Yes, father stranger, I will show you the house you want, for Alcinous lives quite close to my own father. I will go before you and show the way, but say not a word as you go, and do not look at any man, nor ask him questions; for the people here cannot abide strangers, and do not like men who come from some other place. They are a sea-faring folk, and sail the seas by the grace of Neptune in ships that glide along like thought, or as a bird in the air."

On this she led the way, and Ulysses followed in her steps; but not one of the Phaecians could see him as he passed through the city in the midst of them; for the great goddess Minerva in her good will towards him had hidden him in a thick cloud of darkness. He admired their harbours, ships, places of assembly, and the lofty walls of the city, which, with the palisade on top of them, were very striking, and when they reached the king's house Minerva said:

"This is the house, father stranger, which you would have me show you. You will find a number of great people sitting at table, but do not be afraid; go straight in, for the bolder a man is the more likely he is to carry his point, even though he is a stranger. First find the queen. Her name is Arete, and she comes of the same family as her husband Alcinous. They both descend originally from Neptune, who was father to Nausithous by Periboea, a woman of great beauty. Periboea was the youngest daughter of Eurymedon, who at one time reigned over the giants, but he ruined his ill-fated people and lost his own life to boot.

"Neptune, however, lay with his daughter, and she had a son by him, the great Nausithous, who reigned over the Phaecians. Nausithous had two sons Rhexenor and Alcinous; Apollo killed the first of them while he was still a bridegroom and without male issue; but he left a daughter Arete, whom Alcinous married, and honours as no other woman is honoured of all those that keep house along with their husbands.

"Thus she both was, and still is, respected beyond measure by her children, by Alcinous himself, and by the whole people, who look upon her as a goddess, and greet her whenever she goes about the city, for she is a thoroughly good woman both in head and heart, and when any women are friends of hers, she will help their husbands also to settle their disputes. If you can gain her good will, you may have every hope of seeing your friends again, and getting safely back to your home and country."

Then Minerva left Scheria and went away over the sea. She went to Marathon and to the spacious streets of Athens, where she entered the abode of Erechtheus; but Ulysses went on to the house of Alcinous, and he pondered much as he paused a while before reaching the threshold of bronze, for the splendour of the palace was like that of the sun or moon. The walls on either side were of bronze from end to end, and the cornice was of blue enamel. The doors were gold, and hung on pillars of silver that rose from a floor of bronze, while the lintel was silver and the hook of the door was of gold.

On either side there stood gold and silver mastiffs which Vulcan, with his consummate skill, had fashioned expressly to keep watch over the palace of king Alcinous; so they were immortal and could never grow old. Seats were ranged all along the wall, here and there from one end to the other, with coverings of fine woven work which the women of the house had made. Here the chief persons of the Phaecians used to sit and eat and drink, for there was abundance at all seasons; and there were golden figures of young men with lighted torches in their hands, raised on pedestals, to give light by night to those who were at table. There are fifty maid servants in the house, some of whom are always grinding rich yellow grain at the mill, while others work at the loom, or sit and spin, and their shuttles go, backwards and forwards like the fluttering of aspen leaves, while the linen is so closely woven that it will turn oil. As the Phaecians are the best sailors in the world, so their women excel all others in weaving, for Minerva has taught them all manner of useful arts, and they are very intelligent.

Outside the gate of the outer court there is a large garden of about four acres with a wall all round it. It is full of beautiful trees- pears, pomegranates, and the most delicious apples. There are luscious figs also, and olives in full growth. The fruits never rot nor fail all the year round, neither winter nor summer, for the air is so soft that a new crop ripens before the old has dropped. Pear grows on pear, apple on apple, and fig on fig, and so also with the grapes, for there is an excellent vineyard: on the level ground of a part of this, the grapes are being made into raisins; in another part they are being gathered; some are being trodden in the wine tubs, others further on have shed their blossom and are beginning to show fruit, others again are just changing colour. In the furthest part of the ground there are beautifully arranged beds of flowers that are in bloom all the year round. Two streams go through it, the one turned in ducts throughout the whole garden, while the other is carried under the ground of the outer court to the house itself, and the town's people draw water from it. Such, then, were the splendours with which the gods had endowed the house of king Alcinous.

So here Ulysses stood for a while and looked about him, but when he had looked long enough he crossed the threshold and went within the precincts of the house. There he found all the chief people among the Phaecians making their drink-offerings to Mercury, which they always did the last thing before going away for the night. He went straight through the court, still hidden by the cloak of darkness in which Minerva had enveloped him, till he reached Arete and King Alcinous; then he laid his hands upon the knees of the queen, and at that moment the miraculous darkness fell away from him and he became visible. Every one was speechless with surprise at seeing a man there, but Ulysses began at once with his petition.

"Queen Arete," he exclaimed, "daughter of great Rhexenor, in my distress I humbly pray you, as also your husband and these your guests (whom may heaven prosper with long life and happiness, and may they leave their possessions to their children, and all the honours conferred upon them by the state) to help me home to my own country as soon as possible; for I have been long in trouble and away from my friends."

Then he sat down on the hearth among the ashes and they all held their peace, till presently the old hero Echeneus, who was an excellent speaker and an elder among the Phaeacians, plainly and in all honesty addressed them thus:

"Alcinous," said he, "it is not creditable to you that a stranger should be seen sitting among the ashes of your hearth; every one is waiting to hear what you are about to say; tell him, then, to rise and take a seat on a stool inlaid with silver, and bid your servants mix some wine and water that we may make a drink-offering to Jove the lord of thunder, who takes all well-disposed suppliants under his protection; and let the housekeeper give him some supper, of whatever there may be in the house."

When Alcinous heard this he took Ulysses by the hand, raised him from the hearth, and bade him take the seat of Laodamas, who had been sitting beside him, and was his favourite son. A maid servant then brought him water in a beautiful golden ewer and poured it into a silver basin for him to wash his hands, and she drew a clean table beside him; an upper servant brought him bread and offered him many good things of what there was in the house, and Ulysses ate and drank. Then Alcinous said to one of the servants, "Pontonous, mix a cup of wine and hand it round that we may make drink-offerings to Jove the lord of thunder, who is the protector of all well-disposed suppliants."

Pontonous then mixed wine and water, and handed it round after giving every man his drink-offering. When they had made their offerings, and had drunk each as much as he was minded, Alcinous said:

"Aldermen and town councillors of the Phaeacians, hear my words. You have had your supper, so now go home to bed. To-morrow morning I shall invite a still larger number of aldermen, and will give a sacrificial banquet in honour of our guest; we can then discuss the question of his escort, and consider how we may at once send him back rejoicing to his own country without trouble or inconvenience to himself, no matter how distant it may be. We must see that he comes to no harm while on his homeward journey, but when he is once at home he will have to take the luck he was born with for better or worse like other people. It is possible, however, that the stranger is one of the immortals who has come down from heaven to visit us; but in this case the gods are departing from their usual practice, for hitherto they have made themselves perfectly clear to us when we have been offering them hecatombs. They come and sit at our feasts just like one of our selves, and if any solitary wayfarer happens to stumble upon some one or other of them, they affect no concealment, for we are as near of kin to the gods as the Cyclopes and the savage giants are."

Then Ulysses said: "Pray, Alcinous, do not take any such notion into your head. I have nothing of the immortal about me, neither in body nor mind, and most resemble those among you who are the most afflicted. Indeed, were I to tell you all that heaven has seen fit to lay upon me, you would say that I was still worse off than they are. Nevertheless, let me sup in spite of sorrow, for an empty stomach is a very importunate thing, and thrusts itself on a man's notice no matter how dire is his distress. I am in great trouble, yet it insists that I shall eat and drink, bids me lay aside all memory of my sorrows and dwell only on the due replenishing of itself. As for yourselves, do as you propose, and at break of day set about helping me to get home. I shall be content to die if I may first once more behold my property, my bondsmen, and all the greatness of my house."

Thus did he speak. Every one approved his saying, and agreed that he should have his escort inasmuch as he had spoken reasonably. Then when they had made their drink-offerings, and had drunk each as much as he was minded they went home to bed every man in his own abode, leaving Ulysses in the cloister with Arete and Alcinous while the servants were taking the things away after supper. Arete was the first to speak, for she recognized the shirt, cloak, and good clothes that Ulysses was wearing, as the work of herself and of her maids; so she said, "Stranger, before we go any further, there is a question I should like to ask you. Who, and whence are you, and who gave you those clothes? Did you not say you had come here from beyond the sea?"

And Ulysses answered, "It would be a long story Madam, were I to relate in full the tale of my misfortunes, for the hand of heaven has been laid heavy upon me; but as regards your question, there is an island far away in the sea which is called 'the Ogygian.' Here dwells the cunning and powerful goddess Calypso, daughter of Atlas. She lives by herself far from all neighbours human or divine. Fortune, however, me to her hearth all desolate and alone, for Jove struck my ship with his thunderbolts, and broke it up in mid-ocean. My brave comrades were drowned every man of them, but I stuck to the keel and was carried hither and thither for the space of nine days, till at last during the darkness of the tenth night the gods brought me to the Ogygian island where the great goddess Calypso lives. She took me in and treated me with the utmost kindness; indeed she wanted to make me immortal that I might never grow old, but she could not persuade me to let her do so.

"I stayed with Calypso seven years straight on end, and watered the good clothes she gave me with my tears during the whole time; but at last when the eighth year came round she bade me depart of her own free will, either because Jove had told her she must, or because she had changed her mind. She sent me from her island on a raft, which she provisioned with abundance of bread and wine. Moreover she gave me good stout clothing, and sent me a wind that blew both warm and fair. Days seven and ten did I sail over the sea, and on the eighteenth I caught sight of the first outlines of the mountains upon your coast- and glad indeed was I to set eyes upon them. Nevertheless there was still much trouble in store for me, for at this point Neptune would let me go no further, and raised a great storm against me; the sea was so terribly high that I could no longer keep to my raft, which went to pieces under the fury of the gale, and I had to swim for it, till wind and current brought me to your shores.

"There I tried to land, but could not, for it was a bad place and the waves dashed me against the rocks, so I again took to the sea and swam on till I came to a river that seemed the most likely landing place, for there were no rocks and it was sheltered from the wind. Here, then, I got out of the water and gathered my senses together again. Night was coming on, so I left the river, and went into a thicket, where I covered myself all over with leaves, and presently heaven sent me off into a very deep sleep. Sick and sorry as I was I slept among the leaves all night, and through the next day till afternoon, when I woke as the sun was westering, and saw your daughter's maid servants playing upon the beach, and your daughter among them looking like a goddess. I besought her aid, and she proved to be of an excellent disposition, much more so than could be expected from so young a person- for young people are apt to be thoughtless. She gave me plenty of bread and wine, and when she had had me washed in the river she also gave me the clothes in which you see me. Now, therefore, though it has pained me to do so, I have told you the whole truth."

Then Alcinous said, "Stranger, it was very wrong of my daughter not to bring you on at once to my house along with the maids, seeing that she was the first person whose aid you asked."

"Pray do not scold her," replied Ulysses; "she is not to blame. She did tell me to follow along with the maids, but I was ashamed and afraid, for I thought you might perhaps be displeased if you saw me. Every human being is sometimes a little suspicious and irritable."

"Stranger," replied Alcinous, "I am not the kind of man to get angry about nothing; it is always better to be reasonable; but by Father Jove, Minerva, and Apollo, now that I see what kind of person you are, and how much you think as I do, I wish you would stay here, marry my daughter, and become my autistic son-in-law. If you will stay I will give you a house and an estate, but no one (heaven forbid) shall keep you here against your own wish, and that you may be sure of this I will attend to-morrow to the matter of your escort. You can sleep during the whole voyage if you like, and the men shall sail you over smooth waters either to your own home, or wherever you please, even though it be a long way further off than Euboea, which those of my people who saw it when they took yellow-haired Rhadamanthus to see Tityus the son of Gaia, tell me is the furthest of any place- and yet they did the whole voyage in a single day without distressing themselves, and came back again afterwards. You will thus see how much my ships excel all others, and what magnificent oarsmen my sailors are."

Then was Ulysses glad and prayed aloud saying, "Father Jove, grant that Alcinous may do all as he has said, for so he will win an imperishable name among mankind, and at the same time I shall return to my country."

Thus did they converse. Then Arete told her maids to set a bed in the room that was in the gatehouse, and make it with good red rugs, and to spread coverlets on the top of them with woollen cloaks for Ulysses to wear. The maids thereon went out with torches in their hands, and when they had made the bed they came up to Ulysses and said, "Rise, sir stranger, and come with us for your bed is ready," and glad indeed was he to go to his rest.

So Ulysses slept in a bed placed in a room over the echoing gateway; but Alcinous lay in the inner part of the house, with the queen his wife by his side.
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by Tony Twist »

jakebonz@work wrote:ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

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sonic625
Using Sickness as a Hero
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:29 pm

Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by sonic625 »

hi guys. :immediateresponsetothurberpost:
jakebonz@work
Don't mess with my shit.
Posts: 1969
Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:34 am

Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by jakebonz@work »

Book VIII

Now when the child of morning, rosy-fingered Dawn, appeared, Alcinous and Ulysses both rose, and Alcinous led the way to the Phaecian place of assembly, which was near the ships. When they got there they sat down side by side on a seat of polished stone, while Minerva took the form of one of Alcinous' servants, and went round the town in order to help Ulysses to get home. She went up to the citizens, man by man, and said, "Aldermen and town councillors of the Phaeacians, come to the assembly all of you and listen to the stranger who has just come off a long voyage to the house of King Alcinous; he looks like an immortal god."

With these words she made them all want to come, and they flocked to the assembly till seats and standing room were alike crowded. Every one was struck with the appearance of Ulysses, for Minerva had beautified him about the head and shoulders, making him look taller and stouter than he really was, that he might impress the Phaecians favourably as being a very remarkable man, and might come off well in the many trials of skill to which they would challenge him. Then, when they were got together, Alcinous spoke:

"Hear me," said he, "aldermen and town councillors of the Phaeacians, that I may speak even as I am minded. This stranger, whoever he may be, has found his way to my house from somewhere or other either East or West. He wants an escort and wishes to have the matter settled. Let us then get one ready for him, as we have done for others before him; indeed, no one who ever yet came to my house has been able to complain of me for not speeding on his way soon enough. Let us draw a ship into the sea- one that has never yet made a voyage- and man her with two and fifty of our smartest young sailors. Then when you have made fast your oars each by his own seat, leave the ship and come to my house to prepare a feast. I will find you in everything. I am giving will these instructions to the young men who will form the crew, for as regards you aldermen and town councillors, you will join me in entertaining our guest in the cloisters. I can take no excuses, and we will have Demodocus to sing to us; for there is no bard like him whatever he may choose to sing about."

Alcinous then led the way, and the others followed after, while a servant went to fetch Demodocus. The fifty-two picked oarsmen went to the sea shore as they had been told, and when they got there they drew the ship into the water, got her mast and sails inside her, bound the oars to the thole-pins with twisted thongs of leather, all in due course, and spread the white sails aloft. They moored the vessel a little way out from land, and then came on shore and went to the house of King Alcinous. The outhouses, yards, and all the precincts were filled with crowds of men in great multitudes both old and young; and Alcinous killed them a dozen sheep, eight full grown pigs, and two oxen. These they skinned and dressed so as to provide a magnificent banquet.

A servant presently led in the famous bard Demodocus, whom the muse had dearly loved, but to whom she had given both good and evil, for though she had endowed him with a divine gift of song, she had robbed him of his eyesight. Pontonous set a seat for him among the guests, leaning it up against a bearing-post. He hung the lyre for him on a peg over his head, and showed him where he was to feel for it with his hands. He also set a fair table with a basket of victuals by his side, and a cup of wine from which he might drink whenever he was so disposed.

The company then laid their hands upon the good things that were before them, but as soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, the muse inspired Demodocus to sing the feats of heroes, and more especially a matter that was then in the mouths of all men, to wit, the quarrel between Ulysses and Achilles, and the fierce words that they heaped on one another as they gat together at a banquet. But Agamemnon was glad when he heard his chieftains quarrelling with one another, for Apollo had foretold him this at Pytho when he crossed the stone floor to consult the oracle. Here was the beginning of the evil that by the will of Jove fell both Danaans and Trojans.

Thus sang the bard, but Ulysses drew his purple mantle over his head and covered his face, for he was ashamed to let the Phaeacians see that he was weeping. When the bard left off singing he wiped the tears from his eyes, uncovered his face, and, taking his cup, made a drink-offering to the gods; but when the Phaeacians pressed Demodocus to sing further, for they delighted in his lays, then Ulysses again drew his mantle over his head and wept bitterly. No one noticed his distress except Alcinous, who was sitting near him, and heard the heavy sighs that he was heaving. So he at once said, "Aldermen and town councillors of the Phaeacians, we have had enough now, both of the feast, and of the minstrelsy that is its due accompaniment; let us proceed therefore to the athletic sports, so that our guest on his return home may be able to tell his friends how much we surpass all other nations as boxers, wrestlers, jumpers, and runners."

With these words he led the way, and the others followed after. A servant hung Demodocus's lyre on its peg for him, led him out of the cloister, and set him on the same way as that along which all the chief men of the Phaeacians were going to see the sports; a crowd of several thousands of people followed them, and there were many excellent competitors for all the prizes. Acroneos, Ocyalus, Elatreus, Nauteus, Prymneus, Anchialus, Eretmeus, Ponteus, Proreus, Thoon, Anabesineus, and Amphialus son of Polyneus son of Tecton. There was also Euryalus son of Naubolus, who was like Mars himself, and was the best looking man among the Phaecians except Laodamas. Three sons of Alcinous, Laodamas, Halios, and Clytoneus, competed also.

The foot races came first. The course was set out for them from the starting post, and they raised a dust upon the plain as they all flew forward at the same moment. Clytoneus came in first by a long way; he left every one else behind him by the length of the furrow that a couple of mules can plough in a fallow field. They then turned to the painful art of wrestling, and here Euryalus proved to be the best man. Amphialus excelled all the others in jumping, while at throwing the disc there was no one who could approach Elatreus. Alcinous's son Laodamas was the best boxer, and he it was who presently said, when they had all been diverted with the games, "Let us ask the stranger whether he excels in any of these sports; he seems very powerfully built; his thighs, claves, hands, and neck are of prodigious strength, nor is he at all old, but he has suffered much lately, and there is nothing like the sea for making havoc with a man, no matter how strong he is."

"You are quite right, Laodamas," replied Euryalus, "go up to your guest and speak to him about it yourself."

When Laodamas heard this he made his way into the middle of the crowd and said to Ulysses, "I hope, Sir, that you will enter yourself for some one or other of our competitions if you are skilled in any of them- and you must have gone in for many a one before now. There is nothing that does any one so much credit all his life long as the showing himself a proper man with his hands and feet. Have a try therefore at something, and banish all sorrow from your mind. Your return home will not be long delayed, for the ship is already drawn into the water, and the crew is found."

Ulysses answered, "Laodamas, why do you taunt me in this way? my mind is set rather on cares than contests; I have been through infinite trouble, and am come among you now as a suppliant, praying your king and people to further me on my return home."

Then Euryalus reviled him outright and said, "I gather, then, that you are unskilled in any of the many sports that men generally delight in. I suppose you are one of those grasping traders that go about in ships as captains or merchants, and who think of nothing but of their outward freights and homeward cargoes. There does not seem to be much of the athlete about you."

"For shame, Sir," answered Ulysses, fiercely, "you are an insolent fellow- so true is it that the gods do not grace all men alike in speech, person, and understanding. One man may be of weak presence, but heaven has adorned this with such a good conversation that he charms every one who sees him; his honeyed moderation carries his hearers with him so that he is leader in all assemblies of his fellows, and wherever he goes he is looked up to. Another may be as handsome as a god, but his good looks are not crowned with discretion. This is your case. No god could make a finer looking fellow than you are, but you are a fool. Your ill-judged remarks have made me exceedingly angry, and you are quite mistaken, for I excel in a great many athletic exercises; indeed, so long as I had youth and strength, I was among the first athletes of the age. Now, however, I am worn out by labour and sorrow, for I have gone through much both on the field of battle and by the waves of the weary sea; still, in spite of all this I will compete, for your taunts have stung me to the quick."

So he hurried up without even taking his cloak off, and seized a disc, larger, more massive and much heavier than those used by the Phaeacians when disc-throwing among themselves. Then, swinging it back, he threw it from his brawny hand, and it made a humming sound in the air as he did so. The Phaeacians quailed beneath the rushing of its flight as it sped gracefully from his hand, and flew beyond any mark that had been made yet. Minerva, in the form of a man, came and marked the place where it had fallen. "A blind man, Sir," said she, "could easily tell your mark by groping for it- it is so far ahead of any other. You may make your mind easy about this contest, for no Phaeacian can come near to such a throw as yours."

Ulysses was glad when he found he had a friend among the lookers-on, so he began to speak more pleasantly. "Young men," said he, "come up to that throw if you can, and I will throw another disc as heavy or even heavier. If anyone wants to have a bout with me let him come on, for I am exceedingly angry; I will box, wrestle, or run, I do not care what it is, with any man of you all except Laodamas, but not with him because I am his guest, and one cannot compete with one's own personal friend. At least I do not think it a prudent or a sensible thing for a guest to challenge his host's family at any game, especially when he is in a foreign country. He will cut the ground from under his own feet if he does; but I make no exception as regards any one else, for I want to have the matter out and know which is the best man. I am a good hand at every kind of athletic sport known among mankind. I am an excellent archer. In battle I am always the first to bring a man down with my arrow, no matter how many more are taking aim at him alongside of me. Philoctetes was the only man who could shoot better than I could when we Achaeans were before Troy and in practice. I far excel every one else in the whole world, of those who still eat bread upon the face of the earth, but I should not like to shoot against the mighty dead, such as Hercules, or Eurytus the Cechalian-men who could shoot against the gods themselves. This in fact was how Eurytus came prematurely by his end, for Apollo was angry with him and killed him because he challenged him as an archer. I can throw a dart farther than any one else can shoot an arrow. Running is the only point in respect of which I am afraid some of the Phaecians might beat me, for I have been brought down very low at sea; my provisions ran short, and therefore I am still weak."

They all held their peace except King Alcinous, who began, "Sir, we have had much pleasure in hearing all that you have told us, from which I understand that you are willing to show your prowess, as having been displeased with some insolent remarks that have been made to you by one of our athletes, and which could never have been uttered by any one who knows how to talk with propriety. I hope you will apprehend my meaning, and will explain to any be one of your chief men who may be dining with yourself and your family when you get home, that we have an hereditary aptitude for accomplishments of all kinds. We are not particularly remarkable for our boxing, nor yet as wrestlers, but we are singularly fleet of foot and are excellent sailors. We are extremely fond of good dinners, music, and dancing; we also like frequent changes of linen, warm baths, and good beds, so now, please, some of you who are the best dancers set about dancing, that our guest on his return home may be able to tell his friends how much we surpass all other nations as sailors, runners, dancers, minstrels. Demodocus has left his lyre at my house, so run some one or other of you and fetch it for him."

On this a servant hurried off to bring the lyre from the king's house, and the nine men who had been chosen as stewards stood forward. It was their business to manage everything connected with the sports, so they made the ground smooth and marked a wide space for the dancers. Presently the servant came back with Demodocus's lyre, and he took his place in the midst of them, whereon the best young dancers in the town began to foot and trip it so nimbly that Ulysses was delighted with the merry twinkling of their feet.

Meanwhile the bard began to sing the loves of Mars and Venus, and how they first began their intrigue in the house of Vulcan. Mars made Venus many presents, and defiled King Vulcan's marriage bed, so the sun, who saw what they were about, told Vulcan. Vulcan was very angry when he heard such dreadful news, so he went to his smithy brooding mischief, got his great anvil into its place, and began to forge some chains which none could either unloose or break, so that they might stay there in that place. When he had finished his snare he went into his bedroom and festooned the bed-posts all over with chains like cobwebs; he also let many hang down from the great beam of the ceiling. Not even a god could see them, so fine and subtle were they. As soon as he had spread the chains all over the bed, he made as though he were setting out for the fair state of Lemnos, which of all places in the world was the one he was most fond of. But Mars kept no blind look out, and as soon as he saw him start, hurried off to his house, burning with love for Venus.

Now Venus was just come in from a visit to her father Jove, and was about sitting down when Mars came inside the house, an said as he took her hand in his own, "Let us go to the couch of Vulcan: he is not at home, but is gone off to Lemnos among the Sintians, whose speech is barbarous."

She was nothing loth, so they went to the couch to take their rest, whereon they were caught in the toils which cunning Vulcan had spread for them, and could neither get up nor stir hand or foot, but found too late that they were in a trap. Then Vulcan came up to them, for he had turned back before reaching Lemnos, when his scout the sun told him what was going on. He was in a furious passion, and stood in the vestibule making a dreadful noise as he shouted to all the gods.

"Father Jove," he cried, "and all you other blessed gods who live for ever, come here and see the ridiculous and disgraceful sight that I will show you. Jove's daughter Venus is always dishonouring me because I am lame. She is in love with Mars, who is handsome and clean built, whereas I am a cripple- but my parents are to blame for that, not I; they ought never to have begotten me. Come and see the pair together asleep on my bed. It makes me furious to look at them. They are very fond of one another, but I do not think they will lie there longer than they can help, nor do I think that they will sleep much; there, however, they shall stay till her father has repaid me the sum I gave him for his baggage of a daughter, who is fair but not honest."

On this the gods gathered to the house of Vulcan. Earth-encircling Neptune came, and Mercury the bringer of luck, and King Apollo, but the goddesses stayed at home all of them for shame. Then the givers of all good things stood in the doorway, and the blessed gods roared with inextinguishable laughter, as they saw how cunning Vulcan had been, whereon one would turn towards his neighbour saying:

"Ill deeds do not prosper, and the weak confound the strong. See how limping Vulcan, lame as he is, has caught Mars who is the fleetest god in heaven; and now Mars will be cast in heavy damages."

Thus did they converse, but King Apollo said to Mercury, "Messenger Mercury, giver of good things, you would not care how strong the chains were, would you, if you could sleep with Venus?"

"King Apollo," answered Mercury, "I only wish I might get the chance, though there were three times as many chains- and you might look on, all of you, gods and goddesses, but would sleep with her if I could."

The immortal gods burst out laughing as they heard him, but Neptune took it all seriously, and kept on imploring Vulcan to set Mars free again. "Let him go," he cried, "and I will undertake, as you require, that he shall pay you all the damages that are held reasonable among the immortal gods."

"Do not," replied Vulcan, "ask me to do this; a bad man's bond is bad security; what remedy could I enforce against you if Mars should go away and leave his debts behind him along with his chains?"

"Vulcan," said Neptune, "if Mars goes away without paying his damages, I will pay you myself." So Vulcan answered, "In this case I cannot and must not refuse you."

Thereon he loosed the bonds that bound them, and as soon as they were free they scampered off, Mars to Thrace and laughter-loving Venus to Cyprus and to Paphos, where is her grove and her altar fragrant with burnt offerings. Here the Graces hathed her, and anointed her with oil of ambrosia such as the immortal gods make use of, and they clothed her in raiment of the most enchanting beauty.

Thus sang the bard, and both Ulysses and the seafaring Phaeacians were charmed as they heard him.

Then Alcinous told Laodamas and Halius to dance alone, for there was no one to compete with them. So they took a red ball which Polybus had made for them, and one of them bent himself backwards and threw it up towards the clouds, while the other jumped from off the ground and caught it with ease before it came down again. When they had done throwing the ball straight up into the air they began to dance, and at the same time kept on throwing it backwards and forwards to one another, while all the young men in the ring applauded and made a great stamping with their feet. Then Ulysses said:

"King Alcinous, you said your people were the nimblest dancers in the world, and indeed they have proved themselves to be so. I was astonished as I saw them."

The king was delighted at this, and exclaimed to the Phaecians "Aldermen and town councillors, our guest seems to be a person of singular judgement; let us give him such proof of our hospitality as he may reasonably expect. There are twelve chief men among you, and counting myself there are thirteen; contribute, each of you, a clean cloak, a shirt, and a talent of fine gold; let us give him all this in a lump down at once, so that when he gets his supper he may do so with a light heart. As for Euryalus he will have to make a formal apology and a present too, for he has been rude."

Thus did he speak. The others all of them applauded his saying, and sent their servants to fetch the presents. Then Euryalus said, "King Alcinous, I will give the stranger all the satisfaction you require. He shall have sword, which is of bronze, all but the hilt, which is of silver. I will also give him the scabbard of newly sawn ivory into which it fits. It will be worth a great deal to him."

As he spoke he placed the sword in the hands of Ulysses and said, "Good luck to you, father stranger; if anything has been said amiss may the winds blow it away with them, and may heaven grant you a safe return, for I understand you have been long away from home, and have gone through much hardship."

To which Ulysses answered, "Good luck to you too my friend, and may the gods grant you every happiness. I hope you will not miss the sword you have given me along with your apology."

With these words he girded the sword about his shoulders and towards sundown the presents began to make their appearance, as the servants of the donors kept bringing them to the house of King Alcinous; here his sons received them, and placed them under their mother's charge. Then Alcinous led the way to the house and bade his guests take their seats.

"Wife," said he, turning to Queen Arete, "Go, fetch the best chest we have, and put a clean cloak and shirt in it. Also, set a copper on the fire and heat some water; our guest will take a warm bath; see also to the careful packing of the presents that the noble Phaeacians have made him; he will thus better enjoy both his supper and the singing that will follow. I shall myself give him this golden goblet- which is of exquisite workmanship- that he may be reminded of me for the rest of his life whenever he makes a drink-offering to Jove, or to any of the gods."

Then Arete told her maids to set a large tripod upon the fire as fast as they could, whereon they set a tripod full of bath water on to a clear fire; they threw on sticks to make it blaze, and the water became hot as the flame played about the belly of the tripod. Meanwhile Arete brought a magnificent chest her own room, and inside it she packed all the beautiful presents of gold and raiment which the Phaeacians had brought. Lastly she added a cloak and a good shirt from Alcinous, and said to Ulysses:

"See to the lid yourself, and have the whole bound round at once, for fear any one should rob you by the way when you are asleep in your ship."

When Ulysses heard this he put the lid on the chest and made it fast with a bond that Circe had taught him. He had done so before an upper servant told him to come to the bath and wash himself. He was very glad of a warm bath, for he had had no one to wait upon him ever since he left the house of Calypso, who as long as he remained with her had taken as good care of him as though he had been a god. When the servants had done washing and anointing him with oil, and had given him a clean cloak and shirt, he left the bath room and joined the guests who were sitting over their wine. Lovely Nausicaa stood by one of the bearing-posts supporting the roof if the cloister, and admired him as she saw him pass. "Farewell stranger," said she, "do not forget me when you are safe at home again, for it is to me first that you owe a ransom for having saved your life."

And Ulysses said, "Nausicaa, daughter of great Alcinous, may Jove the mighty husband of Juno, grant that I may reach my home; so shall I bless you as my guardian angel all my days, for it was you who saved me."

When he had said this, he seated himself beside Alcinous. Supper was then served, and the wine was mixed for drinking. A servant led in the favourite bard Demodocus, and set him in the midst of the company, near one of the bearing-posts supporting the cloister, that he might lean against it. Then Ulysses cut off a piece of roast pork with plenty of fat (for there was abundance left on the joint) and said to a servant, "Take this piece of pork over to Demodocus and tell him to eat it; for all the pain his lays may cause me I will salute him none the less; bards are honoured and respected throughout the world, for the muse teaches them their songs and loves them."

The servant carried the pork in his fingers over to Demodocus, who took it and was very much pleased. They then laid their hands on the good things that were before them, and as soon as they had had to eat and drink, Ulysses said to Demodocus, "Demodocus, there is no one in the world whom I admire more than I do you. You must have studied under the Muse, Jove's daughter, and under Apollo, so accurately do you sing the return of the Achaeans with all their sufferings and adventures. If you were not there yourself, you must have heard it all from some one who was. Now, however, change your song and tell us of the wooden horse which Epeus made with the assistance of Minerva, and which Ulysses got by stratagem into the fort of Troy after freighting it with the men who afterwards sacked the city. If you will sing this tale aright I will tell all the world how magnificently heaven has endowed you."

The bard inspired of heaven took up the story at the point where some of the Argives set fire to their tents and sailed away while others, hidden within the horse, were waiting with Ulysses in the Trojan place of assembly. For the Trojans themselves had drawn the horse into their fortress, and it stood there while they sat in council round it, and were in three minds as to what they should do. Some were for breaking it up then and there; others would have it dragged to the top of the rock on which the fortress stood, and then thrown down the precipice; while yet others were for letting it remain as an offering and propitiation for the gods. And this was how they settled it in the end, for the city was doomed when it took in that horse, within which were all the bravest of the Argives waiting to bring death and destruction on the Trojans. Anon he sang how the sons of the Achaeans issued from the horse, and sacked the town, breaking out from their ambuscade. He sang how they over ran the city hither and thither and ravaged it, and how Ulysses went raging like Mars along with Menelaus to the house of Deiphobus. It was there that the fight raged most furiously, nevertheless by Minerva's help he was victorious.

All this he told, but Ulysses was overcome as he heard him, and his cheeks were wet with tears. He wept as a woman weeps when she throws herself on the body of her husband who has fallen before his own city and people, fighting bravely in defence of his home and children. She screams aloud and flings her arms about him as he lies gasping for breath and dying, but her enemies beat her from behind about the back and shoulders, and carry her off into slavery, to a life of labour and sorrow, and the beauty fades from her cheeks- even so piteously did Ulysses weep, but none of those present perceived his tears except Alcinous, who was sitting near him, and could hear the sobs and sighs that he was heaving. The king, therefore, at once rose and said:

"Aldermen and town councillors of the Phaeacians, let Demodocus cease his song, for there are those present who do not seem to like it. From the moment that we had done supper and Demodocus began to sing, our guest has been all the time groaning and lamenting. He is evidently in great trouble, so let the bard leave off, that we may all enjoy ourselves, hosts and guest alike. This will be much more as it should be, for all these festivities, with the escort and the presents that we are making with so much good will, are wholly in his honour, and any one with even a moderate amount of right feeling knows that he ought to treat a guest and a suppliant as though he were his own brother.

"Therefore, Sir, do you on your part affect no more concealment nor reserve in the matter about which I shall ask you; it will be more polite in you to give me a plain answer; tell me the name by which your father and mother over yonder used to call you, and by which you were known among your neighbours and fellow-citizens. There is no one, neither rich nor poor, who is absolutely without any name whatever, for people's fathers and mothers give them names as soon as they are born. Tell me also your country, nation, and city, that our ships may shape their purpose accordingly and take you there. For the Phaeacians have no pilots; their vessels have no rudders as those of other nations have, but the ships themselves understand what it is that we are thinking about and want; they know all the cities and countries in the whole world, and can traverse the sea just as well even when it is covered with mist and cloud, so that there is no danger of being wrecked or coming to any harm. Still I do remember hearing my father say that Neptune was angry with us for being too easy-going in the matter of giving people escorts. He said that one of these days he should wreck a ship of ours as it was returning from having escorted some one, and bury our city under a high mountain. This is what my used to say, but whether the god will carry out his threat or no is a matter which he will decide for himself.

"And now, tell me and tell me true. Where have you been wandering, and in what countries have you travelled? Tell us of the peoples themselves, and of their cities- who were hostile, savage and uncivilized, and who, on the other hand, hospitable and humane. Tell us also why you are made unhappy on hearing about the return of the Argive Danaans from Troy. The gods arranged all this, and sent them their misfortunes in order that future generations might have something to sing about. Did you lose some brave kinsman of your wife's when you were before Troy? a son-in-law or father-in-law- which are the nearest relations a man has outside his own flesh and blood? or was it some brave and kindly-natured comrade- for a good friend is as dear to a man as his own brother?"
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krudmonk
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by krudmonk »

What's going on in this thread?

Actually, I don't even care. Just wanted to drop in and let everyone know that I'm so hip and apathetic.
UGH! HEEEYYYYY!!!!!!!
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Toxicarius
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by Toxicarius »

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Gay for Cock
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by Gay for Cock »

It figures that it would take fucking Moby Dick getting shoved down their throats to finally pacify these cocksuckers.


I can't wait for the reeeunion 10 years from now: Remember the time Pisscubes killed 5 trolls with nothing but his big white dick.... :tup:
"It is the maze that dreams. And I am lost."
Gay for Cock
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by Gay for Cock »

Crazylegs wrote:Fuck that gay dude, I'm gettin my 100 post today. He can come get me.

You better believe I'm coming for your ass, kid. I bet you could suck the sheen off a Louisville slugger, and I'm not about to pass that talent up.
"It is the maze that dreams. And I am lost."
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♠V|L|N♠
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by ♠V|L|N♠ »

We are just :wank:
Last edited by ♠V|L|N♠ on Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Gay for Cock
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by Gay for Cock »

Honestly, I think it's just Bon. I'm not really sure why you let him follow you guys around like some retarded echo. He's really bringing down your guys image.
"It is the maze that dreams. And I am lost."
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by Zap Rowsdower »

Howl


For Carl Solomon

I

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,

dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,

angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,

who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz,

who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,

who passed through universities with radiant eyes hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war,

who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull,

who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their money in wastebaskets and listening to the Terror through the wall,

who got busted in their pubic beards returning through Laredo with a belt of marijuana for New York,

who ate fire in paint hotels or drank turpentine in Paradise Alley, death, or purgatoried their torsos night after night

with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, alcohol and cock and endless balls,

incomparable blind streets of shuddering cloud and lightning in the mind leaping towards poles of Canada & Paterson, illuminating all the motionless world of Time between,

Peyote solidities of halls, backyard green tree cemetery dawns, wine drunkenness over the rooftops, storefront boroughs of teahead joyride neon blinking traffic light, sun and moon and tree vibrations in the roaring winter dusks of Brooklyn, ashcan rantings and kind king light of mind,

who chained themselves to subways for the endless ride from Battery to holy Bronx on benzedrine until the noise of wheels and children brought them down shuddering mouth-wracked and battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance in the drear light of Zoo,

who sank all night in submarine light of Bickford's floated out and sat through the stale beer afternoon in desolate Fugazzi's, listening to the crack of doom on the hydrogen jukebox,

who talked continuously seventy hours from park to pad to bar to Bellevue to museum to the Brooklyn Bridge,

a lost batallion of platonic conversationalists jumping down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills off Empire State out of the moon

yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,

whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the Synagogue cast on the pavement,

who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a trail of ambiguous picture postcards of Atlantic City Hall,

suffering Eastern sweats and Tangerian bone-grindings and migraines of China under junk-withdrawal in Newark's bleak furnished room,

who wandered around and around at midnight in the railway yard wondering where to go, and went, leaving no broken hearts,

who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing through snow toward lonesome farms in grandfather night,

who studied Plotinus Poe St John of the Cross telepathy and bop kabbalah because the universe instinctively vibrated at their feet in Kansas,

who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking visionary indian angels who were visionary indian angels,

who thought they were only mad when Baltimore gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,

who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Oklahoma on the impulse of winter midnight streetlight smalltown rain,

who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston seeking jazz or sex or soup, and followed the brilliant Spaniard to converse about America and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship to Africa,

who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving nothing behind but the shadow of dungarees and the larva and ash of poetry scattered in fireplace Chicago,

who reappeared on the West Coast investigating the FBI in beards and shorts with big pacifist eyes sexy in their dark skin passing out incomprehensible leaflets,

who burned cigarette holes in their arms protesting the narcotic tobacco haze of Capitalism, who distributed Supercommunist pamphlets in Union Square weeping and undressing while the sirens of Los Alamos wailed them down, and wailed down Wall, and the Staten Island ferry also wailed,

who broke down crying in white gymnasiums naked and trembling before the machinery of other skeletons,

who bit detectives in the neck and shrieked with delight in policecars for committing no crime but their own wild cooking pederasty and intoxication,

who howled on their knees in the subway and were dragged off the roof waving genitals and manuscripts,

who let themselves be fucked in the ass by saintly motorcyclists, and screamed with joy,

who blew and were blown by those human seraphim, the sailors, caresses of Atlantic and Caribbean love,

who balled in the morning in the evenings in rosegardens and the grass of public parks and cemeteries scattering their semen freely to whomever come who may,

who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up with a sob behind a partition in a Turkish Bath when the blond & naked angel came to pierce them with a sword,

who lost their loveboys to the three old shrews of fate the one eyed shrew of the heterosexual dollar the one eyed shrew that winks out of the womb and the one eyed shrew that does nothing but sit on her ass and snip the intellectual golden threads of the craftsman's loom,

who copulated ecstatic and insatiate and fell off the bed, and continued along the floor and down the hall and ended fainting on the wall with a vision of ultimate cunt and come eluding the last gyzym of consciousness,

who sweetened the snatches of a million girls trembling in the sunset, and were red eyed in the morning but were prepared to sweeten the snatch of the sunrise, flashing buttocks under barns and naked in the lake,

who went out whoring through Colorado in myriad stolen night-cars, N.C., secret hero of these poems, cocksman and Adonis of Denver—joy to the memory of his innumerable lays of girls in empty lots & diner backyards, moviehouses' rickety rows, on mountaintops in caves or with gaunt waitresses in familiar roadside lonely petticoat upliftings & especially secret gas-station solipsisms of johns, & hometown alleys too,

who faded out in vast sordid movies, were shifted in dreams, woke on a sudden Manhattan, and picked themselves up out of basements hungover with heartless Tokay and horrors of Third Avenue iron dreams & stumbled to unemployment offices,

who walked all night with their shoes full of blood on the snowbank docks waiting for a door in the East River to open full of steamheat and opium,

who created great suicidal dramas on the appartment cliff-banks of the Hudson under the wartime blue floodlight of the moon & their heads shall be crowned with laurel in oblivion,

who ate the lamb stew of the imagination or digested the crab at the muddy bottom of the rivers of the Bowery,

who wept at the romance of the streets with their pushcarts full of onions and bad music,

who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the bridge, and rose up to build harpsichords in their lofts, who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned with flame under the tubercular sky surrounded by orange crates of theology,

who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty incantations which in the yellow morning were stanzas of gibberish,

who cooked rotten animals lung heart feet tail borsht & tortillas dreaming of the pure vegetable kingdom,

who plunged themselves under meat trucks looking for an egg,

who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot for an Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks fell on their heads every day for the next decade,

who cut their wrists three times successively unsuccessfully, gave up and were forced to open antique stores where they thought they were growing old and cried,

who were burned alive in their innocent flannel suits on Madison Avenue amid blasts of leaden verse & the tanked-up clatter of the iron regiments of fashion & the nitroglycerine shrieks of the fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinister intelligent editors, or were run down by the drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality,

who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge this actually happened and walked away unknown and forgotten into the ghostly daze of Chinatown soup alleyways & firetrucks, not even one free beer,

who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of the subway window, jumped in the filthy Passaic, leaped on negroes, cried all over the street, danced on broken wineglasses barefoot smashed phonograph records of nostalgic European 1930s German jazz finished the whiskey and threw up groaning into the bloody toilet, moans in their ears and the blast of colossal steamwhistles,

who barreled down the highways of the past journeying to each other's hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude watch Birmingham jazz incarnation,

who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had a vision to find out Eternity,

who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver & brooded & loned in Denver and finally went away to find out the Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,

who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying for each other's salvation and light and breasts, until the soul illuminated its hair for a second,

who crashed through their minds in jail waiting for impossible criminals with golden heads and the charm of reality in their hearts who sang sweet blues to Alcatraz,

who retired to Mexico to cultivate a habit, or Rocky Mount to tender Buddha or Tangiers to boys or Southern Pacific to the black locomotive or Harvard to Narcissus to Woodlawn to the daisychain or grave,

who demanded sanity trials accusing the radio of hypnotism & were left with their insanity & their hands & a hung jury,

who threw potato salad at CCNY lecturerson Dadaism and subsequently presented themselves on the granite steps of the madhouse with the shaven heads and harlequin speech of suicide, demanding instantaneous lobotomy,

and who were given instead the concrete void of insulin Metrazol electricity hydrotherapy psychotherapy occupational therapy pingpong & amnesia,

who in humorless protest overturned only one symbolic pingpong table, resting briefly in catatonia,

returning years later truly bald except for a wig of blood, and tears and fingers, to the visible madman doom of the wards of the madtowns of the East,

Pilgrim State's Rockland's and Greystone's foetid halls, bickering with the echoes of the soul, rocking and rolling in the midnight solitude-bench dolmen-realms of love, dream of life a nightmare, bodies turned to stone as heavy as the moon,

with mother finally *****, and the last fantastic book flung out of the tenement window, and the last door closed at 4 A.M. and the last telephone slammed at the wall in reply and the last furnished room emptied down to the last piece of mental furniture, a yellow paper rose twisted on a wire hanger on the closet, and even that imaginary, nothing but a hopeful little bit of hallucination—

ah, Carl, while you are not safe I am not safe, and now you're really in the total animal soup of time—

and who therefore ran through the icy streets obsessed with a sudden flash of the alchemy of the use of the ellipse the catalog the meter & the vibrating plane,

who dreamt and made incarnate gaps in Time & Space through images juxtaposed, and trapped the archangel of the soulbetween 2 visual images and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun and dash of consciousness together jumping with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna Deus

to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human prose and stand before you speechless and intelligent and shaking with shame, rejected yet confessing out the soul to conform to the rhythm of thought in his naked and endless head,

the madman bum and angel beat in Time, unknown, yet putting down here what might be left to say in time come after death,

and rose incarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz in the goldhorn shadow of the band and blew the suffering of America's naked mind for love into an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani saxophone cry that shivered the cities down to the last radio

with the absolute heart of the poem butchered out of their own bodies good to eat a thousand years.


II

What sphinx of cement and aluminium bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination?

Moloch! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unobtainable dollars! Children screaming under the stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men weeping in the parks!

Moloch! Moloch! Nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the loveless! Mental Moloch! Moloch the heavy judger of men!

Moloch the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the crossbone soulless jailhouse and Congress of sorrows! Moloch whose buildings are judgement! Moloch the vast stone of war! Moloch the stunned governments!

Moloch whose mind is pure machinery! Moloch whose blood is running money! Moloch whose fingers are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a cannibal dynamo! Moloch whose ear is a smoking tomb!

Moloch whose eyes are a thousand blind windows! Moloch whose skyscrapers stand in the long streets like endless Jehovas! Moloch whose factories dream and choke in the fog! Moloch whose smokestacks and antennae crown the cities!

Moloch whose love is endless oil and stone! Moloch whose soul is electricity and banks! Moloch whose poverty is the specter of genius! Moloch whose fate is a cloud of sexless hydrogen! Moloch whose name is the Mind!

Moloch in whom I sit lonely! Moloch in whom I dream angels! Crazy in Moloch! Cocksucker in Moloch! Lacklove and manless in Moloch!

Moloch who entered my soul early! Moloch in whom I am a consciousness without a body! Moloch who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy! Moloch whom I abandon! Wake up in Moloch! Light streaming out of the sky!

Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisable suburbs! skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic industries! spectral nations! invincible madhouses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs!

They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pavements, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to Heaven which exists and is everywhere about us!

Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstacies! gone down the American river!

Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole boatload of sensitive bullshit!

Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and crucifixions! gone down the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! Despairs! Ten years' animal screams and suicides! Minds! New loves! Mad generation! down on the rocks of Time!

Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the wild eyes! the holy yells! They bade farewell! They jumped off the roof! to solitude! waving! carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the street!


III

Carl Solomon! I'm with you in Rockland

where you're madder than I am

I'm with you in Rockland

where you must feel strange

I'm with you in Rockland

where you imitate the shade of my mother

I'm with you in Rockland

where you've murdered your twelve secretaries

I'm with you in Rockland

where you laugh at this invisible humour

I'm with you in Rockland

where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter

I'm with you in Rockland

where your condition has become serious and is reported on the radio

I'm with you in Rockland

where the faculties of the skull no longer admit the worms of the senses

I'm with you in Rockland

where you drink the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica

I'm with you in Rockland

where you pun on the bodies of your nurses the harpies of the Bronx

I'm with you in Rockland

where you scream in a straightjacket that you're losing the game of actual pingpong of the abyss

I'm with you in Rockland

where you bang on the catatonic piano the soul is innocent and immortal it should never die ungodly in an armed madhouse

I'm with you in Rockland

where fifty more shocks will never return your soul to its body again from its pilgrimage to a cross in the void

I'm with you in Rockland

where you accuse your doctors of insanity and plot the Hebrew socialist revolution against the fascist national Golgotha

I'm with you in Rockland

where you will split the heavens of Long Island and resurrect your living human Jesus from the superhuman tomb

I'm with you in Rockland

where there are twentyfive thousand mad comrades all together singing the final stanzas of the Internationale

I'm with you in Rockland

where we hug and kiss the United States under our bedsheets the United States that coughs all night and won't let us sleep

I'm with you in Rockland

where we wake up electrified out of the coma by our own souls' airplanes roaring over the roof they've come to drop angelic bombs the hospital illuminates itself imaginary walls collapse O skinny legions run outside O starry-spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is here O victory forget your underwear we're free

I'm with you in Rockland

in my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night
ghost boner wrote:our cousins should fuck
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♠V|L|N♠
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by ♠V|L|N♠ »

bad ass rap crew :wank:

we're still here! :mastoman:
Last edited by ♠V|L|N♠ on Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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White Like Jesus
How's them beans, ma?
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by White Like Jesus »

I might be in the minority when I say this, but I feel "Liar Liar" is Jim Carrey's finest hour. Forget the sappy bullshit with the little kid, though.
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♠V|L|N♠
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Re: ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

Post by ♠V|L|N♠ »

sonic625 wrote:hi guys. :immediateresponsetothurberpost:
Your dog is always hard, come on my shit to be legit! :mastoman:
Last edited by ♠V|L|N♠ on Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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