'Great' books you could do without

Music posts are a bannable offense.
User avatar
Critical Torsion
Methods for Attaining Extreme Altitudes
Posts: 209
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:37 am

Classics you had to read for whatever reason whose appeal no one bothered to explain to you.

Jane Eyre
The Moviegoer
As I Lay Dying
User avatar
Scumfucker
Jesus never gave me that bike!
Posts: 4462
Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:32 pm
Location: Downtown Los Angeles

Everything ever written by:

Jane Austen

Maya Angelou


I'm not a woman hater. I even eat pussy.
User avatar
EBA Prime
Map, Monitor, Surge
Posts: 891
Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 11:03 am

Fuck Holden Caufeild
I'm bringing back Relapse-Prime and no one will know what I did to do it! No one.
User avatar
Jack Mort
O.G-Had
Posts: 4318
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 2:16 am
Location: Cascadian Wolves Lair
Contact:

Anything by Charles Dickens.

The Jungle
T3HGCKa

http://www.last.fm/user/NxTx
soiled depends wrote:her mom sounds like miss piggy choking on a huge juicy cock...
User avatar
gasoline y2k
Fearless Undead Machines
Posts: 161
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 6:58 pm
Location: Boulder
Contact:

Victorians shaped the modernists / modern world. The history of Dickens, Jane Eyre, Jane Austen, Jude the Obscure, Tess, ... all that stuff, it's damn important. What happened when colonial expansion failed? Economic hardship, world wars, London feared for it's existence with the ever growing evil pressure (read: Svengali.. I mean, cmon. Svengali is one sweet villian) from the world outside. What happened when women started working, writing, and expressing themselves sexually? Economic and social fucking panic. Awesome shit to be had, 1870-1910ish, but you'll need some sort of college equivalent guide or class to read them correctly. You think shit is fucked up now.. the Victorians had it rough.

Or you can just read these books like soap operas. Which, essentially, is what they are. But that's how the Victorians learned about things. :pizza:

Hating on Dickens is just crazy.
I agree, though, fuck Holden C.
xbox: chatt3rtooth
User avatar
Crowbar
Hetero as hell...
Posts: 726
Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2007 5:34 am

Pickwick Papers is awesome.

I am slowly concluding that Dostoyevsky is not.
User avatar
spacehamster
Sweet Lord _______
Posts: 18685
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 5:57 pm
Location: just a-passin' thru

After doing a presentation on it, I fully understand the artistic value of Jane Eyre as a well-crafted novel, but to me it's still an angsty and annoying book about a girl who can't decide if she should marry the priest or the millionaire.

I despise Melville. I tried to read Moby Dick once and gave up, and I can't even stand his short stories. The guy should have been a painter or something, he obviously didn't understand the meaning of the words "story" or "narrative".
storm shadow wrote:This is what happens when people use the internet to get through adolescence, instead of drugs and heavy metal.
User avatar
St. Hillaire
The Forsaken Mourning of Angelic Anguish
Posts: 414
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 12:45 am
Location: Crimebridge, Thrashachusetts

EBA Prime wrote:Fuck Holden Caufeild

Hated that book, but I like all the other Salinger I've read. I guess it's all how you relate to it, that kid just pissed me off, but I actually couldn't put down crime and Punishment.
Mr. Budd

Sense and Sensibility - fuck you
Atlas Shrugged - I hope your periods hurt
A Seperate Peace - zzzzzzzzzzzz fuck you
Great Gatsby - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz die


Some Dostoyevsky was written to sell by the page - making it REALLY long winded and dull. Read the Idiot.
User avatar
spacehamster
Sweet Lord _______
Posts: 18685
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 5:57 pm
Location: just a-passin' thru

Oh yeah, also, every word Dave Sim said about Hemingway is true.
storm shadow wrote:This is what happens when people use the internet to get through adolescence, instead of drugs and heavy metal.
User avatar
Bored
Throbbing Blacke Werebeast
Posts: 2564
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 2:04 pm
Location: Austin, Texas
Contact:

Most protofeminist stuff. Garbage.
User avatar
Bored
Throbbing Blacke Werebeast
Posts: 2564
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 2:04 pm
Location: Austin, Texas
Contact:

spacehamster wrote: I despise Melville. I tried to read Moby Dick once and gave up, and I can't even stand his short stories. The guy should have been a painter or something, he obviously didn't understand the meaning of the words "story" or "narrative".
*cough*

You're dead to me.
User avatar
hadji murad
Streetcleaner
Posts: 380
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 7:43 am
Location: e^(x+iy)

spacehamster wrote:After doing a presentation on it, I fully understand the artistic value of Jane Eyre as a well-crafted novel, but to me it's still an angsty and annoying book about a girl who can't decide if she should marry the priest or the millionaire.

I despise Melville. I tried to read Moby Dick once and gave up, and I can't even stand his short stories. The guy should have been a painter or something, he obviously didn't understand the meaning of the words "story" or "narrative".
Melville wasn't terribly popular in his own time, his most widely-read piece around his lifetime was Billy Budd. Moby Dick was unearthed (exhumed?) in the '20s and '30s by professors of American literature, who subsequently declared it a great work of early American literature and thus forced it down the throats of students for decades to come. So basically, Moby Dick is great because some academics decided on it, not because anyone really likes it. Really... there are 250 pages worth of plot, and a 400 page discourse on whaling stuck in between them.

Dickens and Austen for me. Don't get me started on what a fucking pussy Mr. Darcy is.
User avatar
Necrometer
crippled god of the universe
Posts: 63181
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:42 am
Location: Feelin' fine.

Maya Angelou shit
dominichorton wrote:The Bible
Image
good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
User avatar
51[V][V]f0C
Batshit Paranoid & Heavily Armed
Posts: 4969
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:39 pm
Location: up his own ass, deciphering cia transmissions

it's not that i dont find dickens incredibly important or relevant, it's that the guy wrote in a manner that manages to lose my attention within 3 pages, bar none.
"I hope Obama wins and appoints Bill Ayers Secretary of Fighting Pigs."
-fatheroflies

"Yeah, I'm sure every women in Arkansas is wetting themselves at the thought of a dinner time lecture about black hellacopters and how their Applebee's sampler platter is laced with sodium pentathol."
-Deleted Account
User avatar
Imminent Death
Throbbing Black Werebeast
Posts: 274
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:58 am
Location: The land of John Panther Mellenball

dominichorton wrote:The Bible
I make love to mountain lions.
User avatar
Toxicarius
PLAID MEMBER
PLAID MEMBER
Posts: 10296
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 12:28 pm
Location: Palace Amusements Gate

The Scarlet Letter. I had to read this in HS. I seriously wanted to invent a time machine, go back and kill Hawthorne. Or at least steal all of his writing implements. God what a boring piece of crap. :ax:
User avatar
Bored
Throbbing Blacke Werebeast
Posts: 2564
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 2:04 pm
Location: Austin, Texas
Contact:

hadji murad wrote:his most widely-read piece around his lifetime was Billy Budd.
I would have guessed Typee.
Moby Dick was unearthed (exhumed?) in the '20s and '30s by professors of American literature, who subsequently declared it a great work of early American literature and thus forced it down the throats of students for decades to come.
They also rediscovered Poe, so...
So basically, Moby Dick is great because some academics decided on it, not because anyone really likes it. Really... there are 250 pages worth of plot, and a 400 page discourse on whaling stuck in between them.
Not true at all, and I love it for what it is...a desperate novel of a deeply troubled writer who despaired of being able to say what he really wanted to, who felt completely constrained by his time and culture, tortured by his own life. It's also IMO one of the most profound treatises on evil ever written. I try not to give in to hierarchies and competitions, but Americans seem to love them, and in that spirit Moby Dick IS the best American novel, at least for me...I can't think of anything else that even comes close.
User avatar
Bored
Throbbing Blacke Werebeast
Posts: 2564
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 2:04 pm
Location: Austin, Texas
Contact:

Toxicarius wrote:The Scarlet Letter. I had to read this in HS. I seriously wanted to invent a time machine, go back and kill Hawthorne. Or at least steal all of his writing implements. God what a boring piece of crap. :ax:
I love that novel, but I think The House of the Seven Gables is much more interesting.
User avatar
anfo666
dj/magician/biker
Posts: 3518
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:26 pm
Location: Brooklyn

The entire Ayn Rand ouevre
el-Falso
know it all douche
User avatar
Critical Torsion
Methods for Attaining Extreme Altitudes
Posts: 209
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:37 am

So no one had the pleasure of suffering through the literary torture of Percy and Faulkner? Mark Twain could've taught them an important lesson about the proud Scots-Irish tradition of being intelligent without taking yourself so fucking seriously.
Mr. Budd

Move that sacred cow Tolstoy over that slotted floor because he needs a gutting. Why bother with Tolstoy when you have Lermontov and Dostoyevsky? He has been rendered superfluous by his superior pre and antecedents.

Jane Austen was a horrible shrill bore. If she had a cock she'd be forgotten.
User avatar
Bored
Throbbing Blacke Werebeast
Posts: 2564
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 2:04 pm
Location: Austin, Texas
Contact:

Mr. Budd wrote:Why bother with Tolstoy when you have Lermontov and Dostoyevsky?
Um...because they wrote about completely different things, and Lermontov was utterly shallow? Either you're trolling or you need to read more.
User avatar
spacehamster
Sweet Lord _______
Posts: 18685
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 5:57 pm
Location: just a-passin' thru

Also, I was subjected to a Don DeLillo novel once, and... ugh.
storm shadow wrote:This is what happens when people use the internet to get through adolescence, instead of drugs and heavy metal.
Phritz
I'm not very smart.
Posts: 6194
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:13 pm
Location: I can't even elegantly bleed.

Mr. Budd wrote:Move that sacred cow Tolstoy over that slotted floor because he needs a gutting. Why bother with Tolstoy when you have Lermontov and Dostoyevsky? He has been rendered superfluous by his superior pre and antecedents.
no no no
i've only read "resurrection" so far, but this one was awesome. i love his view on life, christianity and asceticism. although he overdid it in "kreutzer sonata". "resurrection" is pretty much the last book he wrote, so if you only know the older ones, i recommend trying that one.

the only book that i really hated was "dr. faustus" by thomas mann. i liked the story and wanted to finish it, but that guy writes like a bored, nerdy german teacher; nobel price or not.

also the newer books of peter handke. i can only handle a certain amount of landscape description...and he crossed the line.
rīdoonrīmenbā
Post Reply