LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
- Zerohero
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LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
read this on a toilet, and --who the hell would write this for public consumption..jeez embarrassing
Sneakers, Newports and pomegranates
Lauren Nostro, Asst. City Editor
On America’s favorite Hallmark holiday, where saying you hate it sounds just as a cliché as partaking in it, I’m not alone.
My five-year extended fling disappeared to Africa a month ago – literally. It was like finally getting a security blanket, the one you’re supposed to have since you were an infant, and then having it ripped away once you’ve become attached.
And a few weeks after his departure, I received a wonderful pre-Valentine’s day message saying we’ll never be together again. Never really seems like forever when you’re only 20.
The only interaction with males I’ve encountered since have been as useless as meeting a juicehead wannabe at The Northside and engaging in the most redundant texting conversations I’ve had since the middle school days of AIM chatting.
But I’m not alone. On Valentine’s Day, many others and I are stuck on an endless date with minds overwhelmingly filled with memories. It’s become a day to reminisce instead of celebrate.
Some days I’m so convinced that my mind looks like something out of a Hoarders episode – nothing is thrown out and things are starting to rot.
I wish I could forget the fact that my first kiss was in the back of a school bus and the entire time I couldn’t stop thinking about how my ADIDAS shell toe sneakers were soaked from the snow.
I’d pay hundreds of dollars to rid my mind of the smell of rain, Axe body spray, and Newports in the air the night I had my heart broken for the first time.
The taste of pomegranate martini is so pungent now because they remind me of my best friend stabbing me in the back for a boy.
Once I run through all of these milestones, if the events even deserve that kind of title, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have been conditioned to not take anything seriously.
I’ve built the best fortress – I hide behind walls of awkward jokes, LOLcats language, imitations of reality show stars, and a mouth dirtier than that of Lisa Lampanelli.
I can’t even say I’m not this person behind closed doors – I really do talk this much and I really am that funny.
But I wish sometimes I could just sit back and shut up.
I don’t even know what it’s like to just get to know someone. I’ve never even been on a ‘first date’ because I’m so impatient. I’m not going to jump your bones within two days of us meeting, but I just can’t take it seriously and I can’t take it slow.
I’ve started showing my interest in boys by actually saying ‘What’s yo name, what’s yo sign’ or better yet, ‘I’m sweating profusely,’ or my favorite, ‘Sup, shorty’.
My feelings have become such a joke to me that it would be entirely impossible for anyone else to take them seriously.
Many of my friends are in the same relationships from high school. Then there are the friends who look back on those relationships and laugh as if they couldn’t possibly compare to all of the seriousness and intensity of those in college. I laugh at the latter.
And speaking of high school and not taking things slow, let’s not forget that I asked my date to prom because I was sick of waiting around for him.
This whole college lifestyle has become more than overwhelming. Our lives are so unstructured in college – there are those that live miles away from home who are almost forced to lead two lives. Many of us don’t even have time in our day to shower, let alone lead a love life. Our lives revolve around school, sleep and The Steer. I think the lack of structure has started to rub off on my personal life.
I can speak for myself and on behalf of any male that has ever been in my life – I’m sorry there are no brakes. I just want to stop and breathe sometimes, too.
On that note, today, I’ll pull the emergency break. I’ll be patient, I’ll throw out those old rotting memories. And I’ll just stop looking for love in lust. I just can’t promise I’ll stop talking and being that funny along the way.
So, here’s to you, five-year extended fling and my regretful lack of commitment. Here’s to you, sexy waterpolo boy who made my head spin and spin until I ended up the bitter girl I am today.
And here’s to you, and all of your seriousness, and my lack thereof.
Sneakers, Newports and pomegranates
Lauren Nostro, Asst. City Editor
On America’s favorite Hallmark holiday, where saying you hate it sounds just as a cliché as partaking in it, I’m not alone.
My five-year extended fling disappeared to Africa a month ago – literally. It was like finally getting a security blanket, the one you’re supposed to have since you were an infant, and then having it ripped away once you’ve become attached.
And a few weeks after his departure, I received a wonderful pre-Valentine’s day message saying we’ll never be together again. Never really seems like forever when you’re only 20.
The only interaction with males I’ve encountered since have been as useless as meeting a juicehead wannabe at The Northside and engaging in the most redundant texting conversations I’ve had since the middle school days of AIM chatting.
But I’m not alone. On Valentine’s Day, many others and I are stuck on an endless date with minds overwhelmingly filled with memories. It’s become a day to reminisce instead of celebrate.
Some days I’m so convinced that my mind looks like something out of a Hoarders episode – nothing is thrown out and things are starting to rot.
I wish I could forget the fact that my first kiss was in the back of a school bus and the entire time I couldn’t stop thinking about how my ADIDAS shell toe sneakers were soaked from the snow.
I’d pay hundreds of dollars to rid my mind of the smell of rain, Axe body spray, and Newports in the air the night I had my heart broken for the first time.
The taste of pomegranate martini is so pungent now because they remind me of my best friend stabbing me in the back for a boy.
Once I run through all of these milestones, if the events even deserve that kind of title, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have been conditioned to not take anything seriously.
I’ve built the best fortress – I hide behind walls of awkward jokes, LOLcats language, imitations of reality show stars, and a mouth dirtier than that of Lisa Lampanelli.
I can’t even say I’m not this person behind closed doors – I really do talk this much and I really am that funny.
But I wish sometimes I could just sit back and shut up.
I don’t even know what it’s like to just get to know someone. I’ve never even been on a ‘first date’ because I’m so impatient. I’m not going to jump your bones within two days of us meeting, but I just can’t take it seriously and I can’t take it slow.
I’ve started showing my interest in boys by actually saying ‘What’s yo name, what’s yo sign’ or better yet, ‘I’m sweating profusely,’ or my favorite, ‘Sup, shorty’.
My feelings have become such a joke to me that it would be entirely impossible for anyone else to take them seriously.
Many of my friends are in the same relationships from high school. Then there are the friends who look back on those relationships and laugh as if they couldn’t possibly compare to all of the seriousness and intensity of those in college. I laugh at the latter.
And speaking of high school and not taking things slow, let’s not forget that I asked my date to prom because I was sick of waiting around for him.
This whole college lifestyle has become more than overwhelming. Our lives are so unstructured in college – there are those that live miles away from home who are almost forced to lead two lives. Many of us don’t even have time in our day to shower, let alone lead a love life. Our lives revolve around school, sleep and The Steer. I think the lack of structure has started to rub off on my personal life.
I can speak for myself and on behalf of any male that has ever been in my life – I’m sorry there are no brakes. I just want to stop and breathe sometimes, too.
On that note, today, I’ll pull the emergency break. I’ll be patient, I’ll throw out those old rotting memories. And I’ll just stop looking for love in lust. I just can’t promise I’ll stop talking and being that funny along the way.
So, here’s to you, five-year extended fling and my regretful lack of commitment. Here’s to you, sexy waterpolo boy who made my head spin and spin until I ended up the bitter girl I am today.
And here’s to you, and all of your seriousness, and my lack thereof.
rileyo wrote:i like that she's wearing high heels &stockings to get fucked by dead pigs,that's some real forward thinking metal right there
LordDarksoul wrote:Thanks for the concern, Fucktractor.
BUNGVOX wrote:i don't want metallica to shit their pants. i want metallica to shit MY pants.
- soiled depends
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
a fucking editor wrote that? For what publication? The Punxsutawney Pre School Pissfuck Review?
does your employer know that you are a cold hearted animal murderer in addition to being an insatiable pervert?-meatgrease
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
- smellmyfinger
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
I hoped you washed yer hands when you were done. Are you guys coming out for Fat Tuesday?? Billy's going to Brooklyn...
This is like talking to an internet ghost who doesn't even realize he's a ghost yet and keeps trying to talk to those around him. If you try to put a shirt on so people can recognize you I WILL PUNCH THE SHIRT INTO OBLIVION thus rendering you still a ghost. FUCK YOU, smellmyfinger
- Necrometer
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Chick actually reads exactly like Amelia...
This is awesome/horrible.Zerohero wrote:On that note, today, I’ll pull the emergency break. I’ll be patient, I’ll throw out those old rotting memories. And I’ll just stop looking for love in lust. I just can’t promise I’ll stop talking and being that funny along the way.
Last edited by Necrometer on Mon Feb 15, 2010 11:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Zerohero
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
the "I don't even have time to shower" line should have 432748329487 suitors linin' up to lick her snakehole
rileyo wrote:i like that she's wearing high heels &stockings to get fucked by dead pigs,that's some real forward thinking metal right there
LordDarksoul wrote:Thanks for the concern, Fucktractor.
BUNGVOX wrote:i don't want metallica to shit their pants. i want metallica to shit MY pants.
- Zerohero
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
smellmyfinger wrote:I hoped you washed yer hands when you were done. Are you guys coming out for Fat Tuesday?? Billy's going to Brooklyn...
Think we're gonna hang out on Staten Island eating pizza.
rileyo wrote:i like that she's wearing high heels &stockings to get fucked by dead pigs,that's some real forward thinking metal right there
LordDarksoul wrote:Thanks for the concern, Fucktractor.
BUNGVOX wrote:i don't want metallica to shit their pants. i want metallica to shit MY pants.
- zzzzzzzz
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Women are beheaded daily in the middle east so they won't have the freedom to write shit like this.
- Zerohero
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
zzzzzzzz wrote:Women are beheaded daily in the middle east so they won't have the freedom to write shit like this.
they behead 'em in south buffalo too actually, for the record
rileyo wrote:i like that she's wearing high heels &stockings to get fucked by dead pigs,that's some real forward thinking metal right there
LordDarksoul wrote:Thanks for the concern, Fucktractor.
BUNGVOX wrote:i don't want metallica to shit their pants. i want metallica to shit MY pants.
- soiled depends
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
I just emailed her. We'll see if she has anything to say about what my true feelings are for her writing style and life experience.
edit: false email address? lauren.nostro@ubspectrum.com just bounced back to me...
edit: false email address? lauren.nostro@ubspectrum.com just bounced back to me...
does your employer know that you are a cold hearted animal murderer in addition to being an insatiable pervert?-meatgrease
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
- Toxicarius
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
ZH, why were you reading that crap when you should've been wiping your ass with it?
- Zerohero
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Toxicarius wrote:ZH, why were you reading that crap when you should've been wiping your ass with it?
all things in proper sequence pardner
rileyo wrote:i like that she's wearing high heels &stockings to get fucked by dead pigs,that's some real forward thinking metal right there
LordDarksoul wrote:Thanks for the concern, Fucktractor.
BUNGVOX wrote:i don't want metallica to shit their pants. i want metallica to shit MY pants.
- RHT
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
WAKKA WAKKA WAKKAZerohero wrote:Toxicarius wrote:ZH, why were you reading that crap when you should've been wiping your ass with it?
all things in proper sequence pardner
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Was this the same woman that wrote an article about her 'tough' upbringing where she had to paint a fence that you posted a couple of years ago?
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Sarcasm or not, there's something about this line here, and her overall tone, that makes my head hurt. Like hurt in the way one's head would ache after hearing someone scrape their fork on a dinner plate.My five-year extended fling
One Man Show
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Bitching about it on an internet forum.....priceless.
Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
No shit.Deleted Account wrote:Sarcasm or not, there's something about this line here, and her overall tone, that makes my head hurt. Like hurt in the way one's head would ache after hearing someone scrape their fork on a dinner plate.My five-year extended fling
- Necrometer
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
We can just witness her drifting in and out of full retardation...Zerohero wrote: I can speak for myself and on behalf of any male that has ever been in my life – I’m sorry there are no brakes. I just want to stop and breathe sometimes, too.
On that note, today, I’ll pull the emergency break. I’ll be patient, I’ll throw out those old rotting memories. And I’ll just stop looking for love in lust. I just can’t promise I’ll stop talking and being that funny along the way.
Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Stupid Africa took her man.
I'll bet she's real funny....
....lookin'.
I'll bet she's real funny....
....lookin'.
- Zerohero
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Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Mr. Budd wrote:Stupid Africa took her man.
I'll bet she's real funny....
....lookin'.
i was googling for a photo but no dice so far.
hope a new water polo twink chokes her with a pistachio martini before going to some country skyclun has a folk metal CD from.
rileyo wrote:i like that she's wearing high heels &stockings to get fucked by dead pigs,that's some real forward thinking metal right there
LordDarksoul wrote:Thanks for the concern, Fucktractor.
BUNGVOX wrote:i don't want metallica to shit their pants. i want metallica to shit MY pants.
Re: LOL at stupid sadsack cunt collegepaper writer
Sounds like she needs a boyfriend from the Niagra Falls area.