At the REEE offices...

[Mari_Mar]

I see you discovered my secret weapon for getting results during planning meetings...

[Dr Yail Bloor]

I like to let him think he has something over me. I heard from the other office guys he thinks he has a grand plan to someday blackmail me for millions. Sometimes i Think about letting him go, but he's so drunk he thinks its 1979 and who else will i get to work for 3.25$ an hour. You give the guy 3 paid days of vacation a year and he thinks you are mother Teresa.

Everyday is a vacation for Mr Cubes.

[triple clutcher v2.5b]

Mr. Cubes, I think you have a problem ... namely, that the fax machine is still plugged in. If we get a fax, your wiener is going to end up being sent to the UK office.

Also, can we get some better stuff in the vending machines? I don't think I'm alone in wanting a wider variety of soft drinks than just Tab and that weird Asian stuff they sent us by mistake last year.

[Tony Twist]

So are we going to have one of those days wear everyone can where something wacky and zany? Like a crazy tie day or something like that? I think it would really boost moral. I'd like to suggest something along the lines of short skirt and massive cleavage day ..................... for the ladies of the office of course.

[Dr Yail Bloor]

whens the fucking day where we go into the woods and shit, yeah, whens that?













yeah

[Mari_Mar]

So are we going to have one of those days wear everyone can where something wacky and zany? Like a crazy tie day or something like that? I think it would really boost moral. I'd like to suggest something along the lines of short skirt and massive cleavage day ..................... for the ladies of the office of course.

I don't see why this should be limited to just the ladies.

[hana maru]

oh, hi guys. sorry i'm late. turned my alarm off...again.

[hana maru]

damn...did everyone go home already? crap...

[Wehttam]

what the? where did everyone go? shit, I guess I slept all day. well.....I guess I'll just go home. Later hana.

[Phritz]

MAHLZEIT!!!!

[father of lies]

A BUBBLER IS REALLY THE DRINKING FOUNTAIN LIKE IN SCHOOL

I'm pretty sure they only call them that in parts of Wisconsin, and places where the original one (called a bubbler, indeed, but its the kind where the water bubbles up through the pool, hence the name) was installed by Kohler over a century ago.

[Teebore]

damn...did everyone go home already? crap...

[crawls out from under desk stained with puke]


ssssssmean we'rrre all alone?? How u doin' baby....


[pisses self, takes pull off Rubber Cement bottle]

I doubt if anything you've posted in this thread so far deviates from your typical work day. Just sayin'.

[The Torsion]

You all work like old people fuck.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

[puts 5 hits of acid on his tongue and drinks bleach]

do you...uh...do you have any more? I drank all of the hand sanitizer in the supply closet and I'm still not falling through the cubicle dividers often enough.

[hana maru]

damn...did everyone go home already? crap...

[crawls out from under desk stained with puke]


ssssssmean we'rrre all alone?? How u doin' baby....


[pisses self, takes pull off Rubber Cement bottle]

oh dear oh dear...

*leads you out of office*

you stink, man...try and get cleaned up, okay? i'm just trying to invoice in peace over here...

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

Ahh Miss Ignorance.

I've been meaning to talk to you but somehow your duties here seem to not take place at any hours when I am around. Well, either way, I feel the best way to talk about this issue is just to be direct and up front. We have had some complaints about women using the bathroom after you. Specifically there has been a large outbreak of what is best described as "crotch crickets". Please see Mr. Depends as soon as possible so he can help you take care of the situation.

Oh yeah? WELL FUCK YOU! You can't fire me because I QUIT!

[stomps off angrily and pauses to throw a chair through an office window while howling gutturally for emphasis]

[comes back 20 minutes later to apologize and ask for her job back]

[hana maru]

damn...did everyone go home already? crap...

[crawls out from under desk stained with puke]


ssssssmean we'rrre all alone?? How u doin' baby....


[pisses self, takes pull off Rubber Cement bottle]

oh dear oh dear...

*leads you out of office*

you stink, man...try and get cleaned up, okay? i'm just trying to invoice in peace over here...

Well well well... looks like Miss Never-Had-to-Shit-In-an-Empty-12-Pack-Carton-Because-There-is-No-Running-Water-or-Toilet-in-the-Abandon-Warehouse-Your-Squatting-In thinks she's too good for me!!!

[drinks a bottle of Scope while sobbing]

it's not that (though i AM Miss Never-Had-to-Shit-In-an-Empty-12-Pack-Carton-Because-There-is-No-Running-Water-or-Toilet-in-the-Abandon-Warehouse-Your-Squatting-In) it's just that i have a lot of work to get done. i can't upset mr. DOAD. do you want me to lose my job?? i NEED this job...

[Introvert]

Hey all! Don't forget that tomorrow is Sexual Harassment Training!

Participation is mandatory for all the hot chicks and you are asked to wear something lowcut/revealing/tight/etc. Otherwise our up and coming young perverts won't get the full benefit of being trained on how to properly sexually harass their fellow Reee coworkers.

I'm counting on all of you to help put the ASS back in harassment!!

[hana maru]

Mr. Doad does not like to share Geoff.

She tried to touch my pee-pee.

mr. doad, please know i did not. pushing him and his junk out of my face is not the same as trying to touch his penis.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

She is a liar and a slut, sir. I saw her bending over sans panties in front of Mr. Pisscubes. I'm fairly certain she was asking for it.

[Phritz]

i've heard there has been FACEFUCKING in other threads too....

[hana maru]

She is a liar and a slut, sir. I saw her bending over sans panties in front of Mr. Pisscubes. I'm fairly certain she was asking for it.

like anyone is going to believe you, ms. crotch crickets... besides, if i do or do not wear panties, it is of no concern of yours or anyone else's - especially since I AM WEARING PANTS. i think you got a hold of some of that acid, amelia...

[hana maru]

Miss Maru, Are we still on for lunch today?

yes, of course mr. DOAD. unless you need to reschedule. because if that's the case, that's okay. so um if you need to reschedule, just let me know. i'll rearrange my schedule. did you need me to do anything before lunch? i uh am just working on these invoices...

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

Oh please, always banking on my crickets to detract attention from the glistening VELCRO OPENING in the seat of your pants. GLISTENING, I said!

[sticks nose up in the air as she walks toward the break room for the 10th time today]

[promptly trips over a porcelain Precious Moments keepsake that had fallen from Mithy's wife's desk]

[regains composure with a hint of self-consciousness, farts nervously]

[triple clutcher v2.5b]

Anyone want to head out to the warehouse and race the scissorlifts? We just have to stay away from the pallet racks because of last week's forklift rollover, but other than that it's pretty safe.