ATTENTION REEELAPSE MEMBERS

[Krieg]

Are we being raided by a bunch of Stacies? Fuck that's sad.

[Andy Rooney]

Hey there, folks. It's me, Andy Rooney, checking in.

It's been a while since I've spoken directly to you. I may be getting on in years but there's still plenty of spring in my step. Or at least there is when I get out of my rocking chair, as my granddaughter is fond of telling me. But it's not my granddaughter I want to talk to you about.

About six months or so ago I was sitting at my kitchen table, removing the raisins from my bran (What is "raisin bran"? Did some hot-shot advertising executive decided that bran needed to be all whored up to keep up with the walkman generation?) when my wife (limping badly after I had explored her bottom with a rolled up sheath of Norman Rockwell originals the night before because we had run out of Ovaltine) told me that my 22 yeard old grandson wanted us to come to a softball game he was playing in. Well, to use your relapse lingo, I nearly soiled my depends.

When I was a boy we'd imitate the starts of the diamond-- Ty Cobb being my favorite not just for the strength of his bat but for having the courage of his convictions. I'll never forget the day he dressed up in his hotel sheets and burned a cross on Jackie Robinson's dad's lawn. Sure, my boyhood chums and I couldn't afford any fancy baseball equipment (even back then the sheenys all had the good jobs) so we'd put a rock in a stocking and use a branch of a mighty oak.

But even if we had been able to afford the kind of major league equipment our heroes had used it would have been the kind of equipment MEN used. A strong wooden bat and a hard, small ball.

Now I've long had my suspicions about my grandson. As a boy I once caught him playing with a barbie (I had whipped him with barbed wire from the pasture out back, but after social services returned him to his parents, I think he understood why he had deserved it). Or the time I caught him reading during the Super Bowl. I think the biggest red flag might have been the time he hugged me and said, "I love you, grandpa". His parents weren't happy with how that one ended, but like I told them, they were only baby teeth. But inviting us to his softball game? I don't know why he didn't just bugger the town's Jail House Queen out in the square.

Now I know Softball is a sport that pacifies the females-- let's 'em think they're playing a real sport and all. And I think that's a good thing. As long as they're home in time to make supper of course, am I right gentlemen? But the idea that someone who insists they are a man would actually engage in this sort of thing really sickens me.

Oh sure, maybe I come from a by-gone era when a square of fudge cost you two pennies and jerking off was something a man did alone, but I see little future for this great nation of ours if this caterwauling sissies are what the next generation is to bring.

This is Andy Rooney, signing off.

[Bon]

i said i care, you dense retard.

magic? when is it? bring it.

either get on board or gtfo...it's simple...you care a lot lisp...it's cute...omg omg omg, what is bon gonna say, omg omg omg...

[♠V|L|N♠]

The old guy comes through in the clutch...

[♠V|L|N♠]

i'm waiting for that paul guy or vln, because they were the ones talking about bringing change today.

We were just the scout team. I found bon at the gas station and let him ride in the bed of the truck. Crazylegs and Frank were break dancing on the corner where me and ALLAH picked up that hooker Mari. More will come, you are marked. Mark ass buster.

[Bon]

actually, i don't care what you have to say. you're useless, as you repeat yourself nonsensically. i'm waiting for that paul guy or vln, because they were the ones talking about bringing change today. i'm calling them out on it. i'm waiting for it. you... you're nothing. those guys are worthless, but you're even more worthless, coattail hanger-on. make yourself of some worth and go tell them to get in here and bring it, because streven is calling them out for the false prophets they are. they can't, and won't, do fucking shit, but post post post post post... same thing, over and over and over and over again. i want them to prove me wrong. i want them to prove themselves wrong. they won't, but it might be interesting to see them try.

jump, bon.

your hostility is charming...since nobody on the current list of members likes you we could use you at the door to check id's...

[Bon]

The old guy comes through in the clutch...

there you are. bring change. bring some magic. make good with your threats and promises. i want to see you fail hard. so hard... you're a pathetic sack of shit. every last one of you. think of this opportunity as your one and only chance. don't do this for anyone but yourselves, because nobody truly cares but you. you need this, because you're all worthless fucking cowards.

cowards.

you have quite a way with words...you're scared and your resort to name calling and cursing...this will not help you survive unless you drop the "r" steven...

[Krieg]

Do not make Streven wear his BASEBALL cap backwards, you lame softball players.

[♠V|L|N♠]

The old guy comes through in the clutch...

there you are. bring change. bring some magic. make good with your threats and promises. i want to see you fail hard. so hard... you're a pathetic sack of shit. every last one of you. think of this opportunity as your one and only chance. don't do this for anyone but yourselves, because nobody truly cares but you. you need this, because you're all worthless fucking cowards.

cowards.

You did a good job polishing the glitter. You will be the last person that evokes creativity from me. You bring absolutely no lulz, you are frucking strupid.

[Krieg]

Post naked pictures with guns, or something else we never did before.

[Bon]

remember that this is our turf. we let you come here. we let you stay. we let you act like xasthur fans and fling your insipid little insults and worthless patter because it's something new, and we're an old community. you're a brief shower on a spring day. nothing more. your presence here is fleeting. if you really wanted to bring change. if you really wanted us to care. if you really wanted to make a difference you would open your carefully guarded gates and let us in on your turf. show us the freedom and leeway we so freely allow you. but you won't do that, because you're all scared. you're all cowards. prove me wrong. prove us all wrong, and allow us to visit your gay little softball fort. let's play, xasthur fans. cowards. pussies.

thanks for further proving our dominance over the srite in sruch a srhort period of time...

[♠V|L|N♠]

remember that this is our turf. we let you come here. we let you stay. we let you act like xasthur fans and fling your insipid little insults and worthless patter because it's something new, and we're an old community. you're a brief shower on a spring day. nothing more. your presence here is fleeting. if you really wanted to bring change. if you really wanted us to care. if you really wanted to make a difference you would open your carefully guarded gates and let us in on your turf. show us the freedom and leeway we so freely allow you. but you won't do that, because you're all scared. you're all cowards. prove me wrong. prove us all wrong, and allow us to visit your gay little softball fort. let's play, xasthur fans. cowards. pussies.

I opened the gates. www.softballfans.com/forums is now available for raping and pillaging. Let me hear some thunder. I will be patient. Feel free to copy some lulz and post there. Copy pasta. You a chef, but not like raekwon.

[Bon]

more of the same useless fucking bullshit... don't break character, shitheel.

you'd suck at srcrabble...

[♠V|L|N♠]

Post naked pictures with guns, or something else we never did before.

That might be even gayer than playing softball.

[Bon]

more lies. chickenshit.

you're so fucking dense you don't know truth from lies...

[♠V|L|N♠]

remember that this is our turf. we let you come here. we let you stay. we let you act like xasthur fans and fling your insipid little insults and worthless patter because it's something new, and we're an old community. you're a brief shower on a spring day. nothing more. your presence here is fleeting. if you really wanted to bring change. if you really wanted us to care. if you really wanted to make a difference you would open your carefully guarded gates and let us in on your turf. show us the freedom and leeway we so freely allow you. but you won't do that, because you're all scared. you're all cowards. prove me wrong. prove us all wrong, and allow us to visit your gay little softball fort. let's play, xasthur fans. cowards. pussies.

I opened the gates. http://www.softballfans.com/forums is now available for raping and pillaging. Let me hear some thunder. I will be patient. Feel free to copy some lulz and post there. Copy pasta. You a chef, but not like raekwon.

more lies. chickenshit.

Strop frontin. Mark ass buster.

[Bon]

oh, so do something then already, chickenshit. unoriginal fuck.

wtf didn't your dad pull out?...

[Insult Referee]

wtf didn't your dad pull out?...

FLAG ON THE FIELD

SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE SAID WHEN I WAS 12 AS AN INSULT.

TEN YARD PENALTY, LOSS OF DOWN.

[pleasuretokill]

it's about how we're taking this site over...followed by 17 pages of you guys "not caring"...

glad I don't come here too often. everytime I come back I'm amazed at low this place has sunk.

fuck you.

pretty sure we didn't give permission to post...

you people seem to have trouble distinguishing fact from fiction.

[♠V|L|N♠]

it's about how we're taking this site over...followed by 17 pages of you guys "not caring"...

glad I don't come here too often. everytime I come back I'm amazed at low this place has sunk.

fuck you.

pretty sure we didn't give permission to post...

you people seem to have trouble distinguishing fact from fiction.

These are just words on a screen that have very little to do with reality. Do you feel safer now?

[pleasuretokill]

it's about how we're taking this site over...followed by 17 pages of you guys "not caring"...

glad I don't come here too often. everytime I come back I'm amazed at low this place has sunk.

fuck you.

pretty sure we didn't give permission to post...

you people seem to have trouble distinguishing fact from fiction.

These are just words on a screen that have very little to do with reality. Do you feel safer now?

I know you and soiled depends Mike are good friends. but, he keeps PMing me, making threats and whatnot and I want to know if there's a way to block him from sending me messages.

[paul allen]

wtf didn't your dad pull out?...

FLAG ON THE FIELD

SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE SAID WHEN I WAS 12 AS AN INSULT.

TEN YARD PENALTY, LOSS OF DOWN.

good call blue.

[♠V|L|N♠]

it's about how we're taking this site over...followed by 17 pages of you guys "not caring"...

glad I don't come here too often. everytime I come back I'm amazed at low this place has sunk.

fuck you.

pretty sure we didn't give permission to post...

you people seem to have trouble distinguishing fact from fiction.

These are just words on a screen that have very little to do with reality. Do you feel safer now?

I know you and soiled depends Mike are good friends. but, he keeps PMing me, making threats and whatnot and I want to know if there's a way to block him from sending me messages.

I don't know a Mike.

[pleasuretokill]

foed

[Bon]

part i like is streven and chris constantly pm'ing me about joining forces, but then acting the opposite in their posts...