The Bill's Now Playing Video Game Thread (Now with Bames)

[delmuerte]

Having a really hard time with Witcher 2, myself. Even on easy. Every fight takes like a hundred hits to kill a guy. This is supposed to be EASY! Also, there is like zero tutorial with this game so I feel like I'm probably missing out on most of what I can do here. It was just by jamming random keys that work in other games that I figured out how to spend my level-up points and shit. Fuck!! I just don't know about this game.

It looks awesome, though. Got my two GTX 560 Tis working quite overtime. The heat they put out is making my right leg shrivel up like a limp-ass dick.

Like Letho, for example. On Normal, he crits you for like 50% health and he's constantly using his Quen sign which you have to kite him around, then all the magic and bombs he's tossing at you. It's really hard to even get a swing on him without losing health. I've read all the tips in the world and everyone just basically says "yeah, he's hard...dodge and roll baby!".

Use your Aard to take down his Quen quicker, use your bombs too, and try to get him from behind (no homo) as much as possible.

Yeah, that's what I was doing...but I just didn't have enough mana to keep up. I found it very hard to avoid his Aard (and I was basically constantly rolling and dodging) and when it knocked me on my ass, that was all he needed to connect a bomb or a fire spell on me.

I didn't have very good bombs on me (all I had were the stun ones and the fire mist ones), so that was a huge cripple on my part. Either way, I set it to easy, smacked him like 5 times and it was over. Switched it back.

[spacehamster]

yeah

i hate it when games just start throwing the earlier bosses into the game as the foot soldiers

totally takes away from them being bosses

Like two minutes after they were supposed to be bosses in some cases, too.

What really annoyed me about that was that basically every one of those creatures can be beaten with one simple strategy that stops being fun the second time you do it, and it always seems to take forever. Well, except the Titans, those you could just hurl missiles at for ten seconds and then the... QTE triggered. Ugh.

[riley-o]

yeah that was really fucking gay

like the first time you fight the invincible-except-in-the-mouth guys, OH SHIT DIE SOON PLEASE OH GOD

then every time after,

[spacehamster]

That is EXACTLY what pissed me off. The fights were just fucking long and annoying and everytime the things came up I just wanted to stop playing.

I basically ran away from every Crusher I bumped into eventually because I couldn't be bothered.

[Necrophilic Mallard]

you're talking about the ravagers (the corrupted demons that tunnel under the ground, shoot homing slime at you, and can somehow "dig" to the roofs of buildings?)
There's been a couple side missions already that involve multiple ravagers and at least one helicopter, and they're a pain in the ass...harder than some story missions, and they're just a SIDE missions.
The sticky grenades work great against both of those enemies, but it's a very time consuming process: throw some grenades, run out of energy, run away/hide, drain some more energy, and repeat.

I also beat the shit out of the big ass devourer w/ sticky grenades...do these guys turn into regular foot soldiers, too? ugh

I'm really concerned about these fucking tesla missiles now...

[copstache]

dude what the fuck were you expecting? have you never read a single word about that game?

[The Bill]

dude what the fuck were you expecting? have you never read a single word about that game?

I saw the IGN video review ("10 out of 10!") but they said little about Sir Poopy Pants.

I hope you like watching eggs being cooked.

Anyone here ever play a game called Vanquish?

[copstache]

geoff man, i have nothing against you but we need to have a little talk. i hate to see you embarrassing yourself any further. there are some basic things every video game consumer should know.

-never visit IGN
-modern games should be played in HD
-MGS= cutscenes

[copstache]

dude what the fuck were you expecting? have you never read a single word about that game?

I saw the IGN video review ("10 out of 10!") but they said little about Sir Poopy Pants.

I hope you like watching eggs being cooked.

Anyone here ever play a game called Vanquish?

it was brought up about 10 pages ago i think? i've never played it but it's a shinji mikami game so it's probably not total bullshit

[The Bill]

dude what the fuck were you expecting? have you never read a single word about that game?

I saw the IGN video review ("10 out of 10!") but they said little about Sir Poopy Pants.

I hope you like watching eggs being cooked.

Anyone here ever play a game called Vanquish?

it was brought up about 10 pages ago i think? i've never played it but it's a shinji mikami game so it's probably not total bullshit

I somewhat remember Spacehampster liking it, but that was a very long time ago.

[Friendly Goatus]

The demo is awesome.

[fallbacktostone]

the demo was just fine

its a sega game

its robots

spacehamster thought it was pure gold

case closed

[Songs of Love and Hate]

Beat Limbo earlier today! What a pile of shit!

[copstache]

fucking message board

[copstache]

a while back, some of the idle thumbs members compiled some of IGN's more interesting quotes

"Graphic adventures rely heavily on their graphics." -- IGN.com

"This is me just being a bastard, but I have to at least try to be objective." -- IGN.com

"The graphics in this game look like poo. [...] And the music. It reminds me of a strip club that I use to go to - but it's closed down now. It just sounds bad." -- IGN.com

"[It's] fine, except when giant spider-bitches constantly block your path. Arrgggg!" -- IGN.com

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8765863

"Like Citizen Kane, you can return to Metroid Prime again and again. Both are haunted by the knowledge of loss. A bright bang in which you can see yourself for a split second before disappearing completely." - Michael Thomsen, IGN.com

"'There's a tendency among the press to attribute the creation of a game to a single person,' says Warren Spector, creator of Thief and Deus Ex." - IGN.com

i'm a big fan of this next one:

"...the full package is every bit as disappointing as expected." ign.com

"I was able to spell 'orgasm' and 'poop.' 'Pussy,' though, was not accepted." -- IGN.com

"If the balls get in the mouth, it's game over -- kind of like a game of Twister." -- IGN.com

IGN on God Hand:

• 2006: "Flat-out sucks. 3/10"
• 2010: "It's easy to mistake God Hand for a terrible game. [...] God Hand is a seriously good game [...] #100 Top PS2 Game."

"There are a few beams of light that shine through the cave of round butts and big boobs." -- IGN.com

This is in an article that purports to criticize game developers for oversexualizing female characters. An article featuring many visual examples of what they're criticizing. IGN has turned a new leaf. Never again will they pander to the horny, straight, teenage male demographic! :shifty:

and my all-time favorite

[Necrometer]

"'There's a tendency among the press to attribute the creation of a game to a single person,' says Warren Spector, creator of Thief and Deus Ex." - IGN.com

hahahaha

[copstache]

you know, i've debated with myself for a long time now whether or not that was intentional. but i've read through a bunch of that guy's articles and they are all totally dry and humorless

[fallbacktostone]

as much as i love those games i'm pretty sure i fucking hate warren spector

[Pooeyegg]

I recently got ahold of the press release leak of Deus Ex: Human Revolution and I'm shocked at how... good it actually is! Jenson sounds just like Walton Simons, though. I had to wonder if it was the same voice actor, and what kind of possible connections there might be...

Honestly I didn't hate IW, I thought they had some good ideas with that. I'd love to see the Omar in HR.

[copstache]

as much as i love those games i'm pretty sure i fucking hate warren spector

i don't know, he seems alright based on the interviews i've watched. he's definitely a very blunt person though

[Pooeyegg]

[spacehamster]

I also beat the shit out of the big ass devourer w/ sticky grenades...do these guys turn into regular foot soldiers, too? ugh

Those are the worst offenders. They're incredibly easy to beat - just get on the nearest rooftop, spam sticky grenades, run away/recharge, repeat. But it takes forever and it's no fun at all. At least the devs had the decency to write one mission with a devourer where there is no rooftop high enough anywhere nearby and you had to switch tactics.

Also, Vanquish rules.

[spacehamster]

Any opinions on the Resident Evil 5 DLC missions?

*tap tap*

Herro? Anyone?

[CoconutBackwards1]

I didn't like the actual RE5. I thought it was poop compared to RE4

[spacehamster]

YOU'RE NOT HELPING.