shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Post by Necrometer »

nary a beherit album has more than 82% on MA, and their debut has a mere 76%

kevin - rumplestiltskin grinder is pretty dumb but they have pretty few reviews and they haven't topped 90% for any of 'em

let's keep our eye on the prize

(liturgy's latest album has 95% ... but just two reviews ... and I like it :awesome: )
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Post by Necrometer »

apparently metal archives has sequential IDs in the URL, and...

https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Burzum/88
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Burzum is also a good candidate for this thread for other reasons, but I have a funny feeling I'm not going to get much support on this one.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Post by Necrometer »

neckbeard is way ahead of you!

even if you think burzum is dumb musically, it’s hard to deny that they were doing something noteworthy


that’s why the album inspiring this thread drives me crazy - it’s rehashed garbage. not even fresh garbage…
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Do we want to start asking if 'Seven Churches' by Possessed is a good album, or merely historically noteworthy? That was certainly fresh garbage at the time - but is it BELOVED and PERFECT fresh garbage?

I can't ever make my mind up one way or another, it charms me in a way that's completely independent of musical happiness. It's like a beloved, but retarded family dog.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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The part of this song that you first hear at 0:42-0:52 is one of the funniest fucking things to me - it makes complete sense that this music was written by kids, trying as hard as they could and making things up as they went along. Every riff follows this A-B-A-(random punctuation) formula... and then the drums do the same thing, KSKSKSKS(@#$@#@#$) KSKSKSKS(@#$@#$@#$#@).

If I get voted off the island for this, I'll accept my fate, but maybe this recording doesn't quite deserve a (avg. 91%) rating?
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Necrometer wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 9:42 am it’s hard to deny that they were doing something noteworthy
Yeah, inventing Girlfriend Black Metal.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Eight Bit Alien wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 10:32 am Do we want to start asking if 'Seven Churches' by Possessed is a good album, or merely historically noteworthy? That was certainly fresh garbage at the time - but is it BELOVED and PERFECT fresh garbage?

I can't ever make my mind up one way or another, it charms me in a way that's completely independent of musical happiness. It's like a beloved, but retarded family dog.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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YOU SUGGEST SOMETHING THEN DICKFACE

IM JUST STATING THE OBVIOUS
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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SHEESH
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Can someone photoshop Louie Gohmert into the Drawing Down The Moon album art.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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oh shit look heres a list of really highly reviewed albums

https://www.furia.com/em/releases-style.html
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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I think we can just look at the progressive metal list and pick one right?
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Post by zombiehead »

Eight Bit Alien wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 2:42 pm YOU SUGGEST SOMETHING THEN DICKFACE

IM JUST STATING THE OBVIOUS
Its a tough (but good) topic, because you have to factor in a lot of things like popularity and shittiness of said album or band.

My first guess was going to be Dissection's Reinkaos. A lot of people are creaming their jeans over this album in the last couple of years but I didn't care for it. It's at 72% right now, so that wouldn't count. Krisiun's Ageless Venomous is sitting at 77%, another failed guess. Amon Amarth's The Avenger is sitting at 89%.

Inquisition has a few albums over 90%. They suck
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Post by zombiehead »

Children of Bodom's Follow The Reaper is 89%
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Post by Necrometer »

hahaha james... "shitty albums? how about we consider this sacred cow?"

without the benefit of history/context, it's super hard to understand what's worthwhile about fucking possessed

it's like when I watched citizen kane... fuckin thing sucks
zombiehead wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 7:06 pmInquisition has a few albums over 90%. They suck
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Necrometer wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 9:58 pm hahaha james... "shitty albums? how about we consider this sacred cow?"
I'm just trying to work backwards! Maybe find an easy target by going 'emperors new clothes'.
Necrometer wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 9:58 pm it's like when I watched citizen kane... fuckin thing sucks
Stop. Stop, stop - stop.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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also yeah Inquisition is pretty fucking cool
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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spacehamster wrote: Wed Sep 29, 2021 11:59 pm
kevin hash wrote: Wed Sep 29, 2021 6:53 pm
They were doing something new
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I like how you conveniently left out the euro snobs part which pretty much proves my point.

Where's your fuckin album pierre?
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Sh has been goin off about black metal for like 20 yrs now, its just a part of this place
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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kevin hash wrote: Fri Oct 01, 2021 1:52 pm Where's your fuckin album pierre?
I've played on a couple, but certainly none where anyone tried anything that I'd call "new". I don't see how that's relevant to the fact that everything Beherit have ever done has been a laughable dick fart.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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spacehamster wrote: Sun Oct 03, 2021 12:44 pm
kevin hash wrote: Fri Oct 01, 2021 1:52 pm Where's your fuckin album pierre?
I've played on a couple, but certainly none where anyone tried anything that I'd call "new". I don't see how that's relevant to the fact that everything Beherit have ever done has been a laughable dick fart.
Beherit have 2 brilliant albums the rest is fuckin garbage.

Let's leave admiral dick fart out of this.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Post by kevin hash »

Necrometer wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 9:58 pm hahaha james... "shitty albums? how about we consider this sacred cow?"

without the benefit of history/context, it's super hard to understand what's worthwhile about fucking possessed

it's like when I watched citizen kane... fuckin thing sucks
zombiehead wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 7:06 pmInquisition has a few albums over 90%. They suck
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Now brother....let's take it easy on Possessed.

They were pioneers. Their new stuff is pretty righteous.

Citizen Kane is a piece of shit.
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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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a dick fart is ejaculation and nearly all of the most illuminating black metal ever made is in some small way bordering on 'laughable'

the year is now 2021

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