things that make you rationally angry

[ThePhillyExperiment]

diarrhoea

[Double Anal]

Mom and dad, the Grateful Dead
Major labels and straight edge
Coors and school and roller blades
God, Rick James and Oakley shades
Fishing, Wayne, silly jocks
Nazis, midgets, new tube socks
L.D. from M.R.&R. And fucking Zeppelin Man,
Hippies, Harleys, Pearl Jam,
Chili peppers, case of Spam
Riot grrls, Ponch and Jon
Squash and pork and carmel flan
We hate these things We hate you, too
Go fuck a monkey in the zoo
Oscar Meyer has a way with B.O.L.O.G.N.A.

[Steeb]

I don't give a fuck if it's normal... $45 for a gas cap, fuck off...

Haha. Mine was $12 for my Saturn. You can get OEM stuff cheap online.

[father of lies]

He's just flogging hte dolphin, Mandie.

[guardianoftheblind]

tied game, with 45 seconds to go, our goalie pulls HIMSELF and we lose, 3 - 2.

[james]

You should take a dump in one of his shoes.

i've thought about breaking something of his to retaliate, but it seems childish, and it would most likely backfire on me. he either still wouldn't care, or he'd break something i REALLY like.

you should probably tell him how it makes you feel and how you'd like him to behave instead

[the awesome Assassin]

for my Saturn.

Are you a lesbian?

[Steeb]

for my Saturn.

Are you a lesbian?

I own a Saturn don't I?

[Steeb]

put ear drops in his drinks, it will give him horrible diarrhoea...

he is vegetarian, and rarely eats fake meat products, his diet is mostly beans, grains and veggies. when he poops he puts the radio on in the bathroom and is in there for a while, so i think he has a hard time shitting, this just might help him!

He is jerking off on yur terlit

Gross. Have you ever done this? It's fucking sad. I feel terrible every time I do it.

[\m/Johnny\m/]

You prefer to just blow hot loads all over your stomach?

[\m/Johnny\m/]

wait... are you talking about glazing the seat with your goo? Yeah, that's kinda gross... but if you think it's gross to just hammer one out in the bowl and flush, do you believe in cum ghosts?

[\m/Johnny\m/]

Who the fuck does that?

I mean, besides you and Steeb?

[Necrometer]

you should probably tell him how it makes you feel and how you'd like him to behave instead

[\m/Johnny\m/]

MY FUCKING BROTHER IN-LAW

After my dealings with DLF, I'm starting to think my B-I-L is autistic. He has absolutely zero social/relationship skills. The worst part of it is, I have to work with him every fucking day. I hired him to work in the office a couple years back, based on his I.T. skills (I always end up fixing shit myself, btw), and I haven't had the heart/balls to let him go. I could post about him every day in the Dumb Things Heard At Work thread, but I think I'm gonna start venting in here instead.

I started bringing my lunch to work recently to save a few bucks. Instead of portioning out my chips in little baggies, I just buy a big bag, and leave it at work for the week. This morning he walks into my office with my bag of chips, scarfing them down, and fucking complaining about them in the process... "I really don't like these baked chips" as he shovels another handful into his stupid mouth.

"Then don't eat them!" I say. He walks out laughing, still eating my chips. I walk out following him and say "Dude... seriously, I hope there's enough left for me to have with my sandwich for lunch"

"There's plenty. I'll make sure I leave enough"

Lunch time rolls around, I get my sandwich from the fridge, and start looking for my chips. I find the bag rolled up on the counter, and there's about 2 tablespoons of bran flake size crumbs in the bag. He's watching me the whole time and says "I told you there was enough!"

I crumple up the bag, throw it in the trash, and say "you're a fucking idiot", to which he giggles.

I swear to God I'm so fucking pissed right now I could shoot him.

I'm gonna start posting every time he does something autistic.

[the awesome Assassin]

Baked chips suck...

[hipster holocaust]

I started bringing my lunch to work recently to save a few bucks. Instead of portioning out my chips in little baggies, I just buy a big bag, and leave it at work for the week. This morning he walks into my office with my bag of chips, scarfing them down, and fucking complaining about them in the process... "I really don't like these baked chips" as he shovels another handful into his stupid mouth.

"Then don't eat them!" I say. He walks out laughing, still eating my chips. I walk out following him and say "Dude... seriously, I hope there's enough left for me to have with my sandwich for lunch"

"There's plenty. I'll make sure I leave enough"

Lunch time rolls around, I get my sandwich from the fridge, and start looking for my chips. I find the bag rolled up on the counter, and there's about 2 tablespoons of bran flake size crumbs in the bag. He's watching me the whole time and says "I told you there was enough!"

I crumple up the bag, throw it in the trash, and say "you're a fucking idiot", to which he giggles.

I swear to God I'm so fucking pissed right now I could shoot him.

I'm gonna start posting every time he does something autistic.

Dude, that sucks, but...fucking

[\m/Johnny\m/]

Here's another good one. My Mom had the entire family over for Xmas and made a couple beef tenderloins. Since tenderloin is a little pricey, she made sure to check who all was coming, and bought/cooked accordingly. About an hour before dinner, B-I-L says he needs to run home and grab something he forgot. About 5 minutes before dinner, he walks in the door with some random fatass dude and says "this is my friend Mark... he didn't have anything to do today, so I told him he could eat with us.". Mom politely resets the table to add an extra spot, and cuts a couple of the pieces of tenderloin (which she had already carved) in half. Dude never apologized, or even said thanks. I don't even think he realized what was going on. Hate him.

[Dr Yail Bloor]

Whilst that is very annoying its pretty funny as well.

[Idget Child]

[Dr Yail Bloor]

The (always coloured ) guys in men's bathrooms in nightclubs etc who try to spray aftershave and shit on you, look mate if I wanted to smell like a puffs handbag I'd have started off at home. My mate calls them 'bog wogs'.

[ErikTeethoftheDivine]

sounds like your BIL and my two BIls would get along

one is 32, 450lbs, married (to another 400lb-er) with a (giant) kid and no real job. still makes his family xmas presents and cards and gives out hand written coupons for presents he will make later. (which he never does) that was cute when you were 8.

He tried to start a photography studio (after getting kicked out of photography school- how hard is that?) a few years ago from his basement- that year he gave the whole family 'free sitting' coupons.

this year i took the family to get a family photo- he sent us a bill

i busted out the 3 year old free sitting coupon....


the other BIL is a 43 year old divorced alcoholic who thinks he 21 ans still hits his parents up for gas and cigarette money when hes always dropping his kid off for his parents to watch ON HIS WEEKEND with the kid

sorry for the rant- but they make me rationally angry i guess

[hipster holocaust]

Wow. These stories are making me realize that I grew up in the freakin Cleaver family.

[\m/Johnny\m/]

always dropping his kid off for his parents to watch ON HIS WEEKEND with the kid

we should start a support group.

[Geeheeb]

I'm leaving the Senate to go to university full time.

They of course posted my job.


At a higher pay rate.


With less responsibility.



I'm going to apply, but hold out for the $45k.

[Necrometer]

I'm leaving the Senate to go to university full time.

They of course posted my job.


At a higher pay rate.


With less responsibility.



I'm going to apply, but hold out for the $45k.

FUCK