Latest movie you watched (1-10 scale)

[Hunter]

Explorers ('85) - 5.5/10 - I remembered this to be a much different movie, but not surprised considering that I saw it at 9 years old. River Phoenix and Ethan Hawk look like they're 13 years old, and that's about all I have to say about them. This is a Joe Dante flop, having been released shortly after Back to the Future. Nostalgia kept me interested, Rob Botin effects made it almost worth it, but mostly this is a very boring 80's teen movie.

Alita Battle Angel ('19) - 8/10 - I watched this in 3D, which is done very well - which I guess should be expected considering James Cameron's involvement. This flick is better than it has any right being, especially considering it's directed by Robert Rodriguez, who by most accounts is not a good director, especially when it comes to anything action oriented (granted, I haven't seen Machete or Machete Kills, which may or may not be bad-good). That said, Alita Battle Angel is made for young adults, mostly and I give it a little leeway for that.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania ('23) - 6/10 - Written by a Rick and Morty writer, and it definitely shows (in a bad way). The story takes what I liked about Ant-Man (normal guy facing normal problems, like child custody and whatnot) and tosses it in the garbage. I liked the creature designs - and that aspect is the majority of why I rate this favorably. I don't give a shit about Kang, the Murray cameo didn't do anything for me, and as per usual, everything culminates in a huge battle at the end.

Rumble in the Bronx ('95) - 8/10 - Compare these action sequences with the modern style and the contrast is dramatic - long shots of people throwing hard punches and getting fucked up. There's no editing magic and acrobatic stand ins to make things look impressive. It's been a long while since I saw this originally, and it holds up really well, even with all the nonsensical character motivations and whatnot. I did get a kick out of it taking place in NYC, while there's clearly mountains in a lot of skyline shots.

Watched this twice in the cinema in the 90s... maaaaan, Jackie Chan's films were just so great. I must have watched Armour of God 2 like 20 times.

I know it's cliché to say "they don't make movies like that anymore," but seriously, no one will ever make movies like that again, for so many reasons.

[Eight Bit Alien]

The Flash - 7.3

I keep saying I'm done with these superhero movies, but I actually really enjoyed this. They got the summer fun energy cranked, it reminded me of stuff like Men in Black and Independence Day. Not nearly as competent as those, but it was closer vibe-wise than any of the other recent Marvel or DC fare.

Ezra Miller is annoying as fuck, but this movie introduced an even more annoying version of Ezra Miller, who made the original Ezra feel much more palatable by comparison. The rest of the cast is pretty great, especially Keaton. I realized halfway through that this is really the only Justice League movie ever made; it has everything that the Snyder movies couldn't deliver on, such as a sense of adventure or familiar characters helping each other to prevent the harm of innocents. I've still got a huge soft spot for old DC team stories, and this might be the best example ever brought to screen.

If all this multiverse stuff is the franchise-industrial complex seizing in its death throes, I won't be sad. But it was nice to see a fun movie in a theater.

[THE KILL]

I know it's cliché to say "they don't make movies like that anymore," but seriously, no one will ever make movies like that again, for so many reasons.

You need to check out the incredible films that Thailand produced in the naughts: start with Ong Bak (skip parts 2 and 3), then feast on Tom Yum Gong, and top it off with Chocolate. The latter actually made me tear up a little for nostalgia reasons, these films breathe HK cinema, and the shit they put their stuntmen through is insane.

[The Bill]

Sneakerella - A whole lot of people owe me an apology for this abomination.

[Hunter]

I know it's cliché to say "they don't make movies like that anymore," but seriously, no one will ever make movies like that again, for so many reasons.

You need to check out the incredible films that Thailand produced in the naughts: start with Ong Bak (skip parts 2 and 3), then feast on Tom Yum Gong, and top it off with Chocolate. The latter actually made me tear up a little for nostalgia reasons, these films breathe HK cinema, and the shit they put their stuntmen through is insane.

I've seen Ong Bak (YEARS ago), but not these other two - thanks for the recommendations!

[MPD]

One Summer of Happiness - 7
Reality - 5

[Necrometer]

Alita Battle Angel ('19) - 8/10

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania - 6/10 ('23)

that's pretty generous for quantumania. it wasn't necessarily boring or irritating, but... there was basically no story there. I had to laugh at the very end when - spoilers? - we see a zillion versions of the same character and of course most of them are played by the same actor. they really painted themselves into a casting corner on that one...

Alita WAS pretty good. the sfx on the main character are so damn good. the main tweaks that would have pushed it up a notch were (1) making that rollerblade sport a bit less goofy, and (2) figuring out an ending that didn't involve a disembodied pretty-boy head on a stick figure body.

[THE KILL]

I know it's cliché to say "they don't make movies like that anymore," but seriously, no one will ever make movies like that again, for so many reasons.

You need to check out the incredible films that Thailand produced in the naughts: start with Ong Bak (skip parts 2 and 3), then feast on Tom Yum Gong, and top it off with Chocolate. The latter actually made me tear up a little for nostalgia reasons, these films breathe HK cinema, and the shit they put their stuntmen through is insane.

I've seen Ong Bak (YEARS ago), but not these other two - thanks for the recommendations!

Born to Fight is also worth a watch... it's got hilarious nonsense in it that's so typically Thai, among else a scene where the hero revitalizes by looking at a coin (which typically have a picture of the king's mug on them).

[THE KILL]

Alita WAS pretty good. the sfx on the main character are so damn good. the main tweaks that would have pushed it up a notch were (1) making that rollerblade sport a bit less goofy, and (2) figuring out an ending that didn't involve a disembodied pretty-boy head on a stick figure body.

the fuck is wrong with y'all... Alita the manga was a fantastic, brutal cyberpunk comic with interesting characters, philosophical discussions, and fuckloads of gore. But even if you haven't read the manga, the film is so superficial, sterile and bland that it's not even a good scifi film for kids. Rodriguez's Sin City was such an excellent congenial film version of the comics that I had moderate hopes, but they were smashed in the first ten minutes.

[canon.docre]

Alita WAS pretty good. the sfx on the main character are so damn good. the main tweaks that would have pushed it up a notch were (1) making that rollerblade sport a bit less goofy, and (2) figuring out an ending that didn't involve a disembodied pretty-boy head on a stick figure body.

the fuck is wrong with y'all... Alita the manga was a fantastic, brutal cyberpunk comic with interesting characters, philosophical discussions, and fuckloads of gore. But even if you haven't read the manga, the film is so superficial, sterile and bland that it's not even a good scifi film for kids. Rodriguez's Sin City was such an excellent congenial film version of the comics that I had moderate hopes, but they were smashed in the first ten minutes.

I'm having a hard time reconciling that anyone who liked the Battle Angel Alita anime (my favorite anime of all time) wasn't let down by the live action movie. It is so fucking hokey and poorly acted/written that I was embarrassed that I told anyone I was excited about it.

I will say that seeing the trailer and what her eyes looked like, I thought that in itself was going to ruin the experience for me. But there were so many things that out-shitified how Alita looked that I almost forgot about that by the end of the movie.

[THE KILL]

Alita WAS pretty good. the sfx on the main character are so damn good. the main tweaks that would have pushed it up a notch were (1) making that rollerblade sport a bit less goofy, and (2) figuring out an ending that didn't involve a disembodied pretty-boy head on a stick figure body.

the fuck is wrong with y'all... Alita the manga was a fantastic, brutal cyberpunk comic with interesting characters, philosophical discussions, and fuckloads of gore. But even if you haven't read the manga, the film is so superficial, sterile and bland that it's not even a good scifi film for kids. Rodriguez's Sin City was such an excellent congenial film version of the comics that I had moderate hopes, but they were smashed in the first ten minutes.

I'm having a hard time reconciling that anyone who liked the Battle Angel Alita anime (my favorite anime of all time) wasn't let down by the live action movie. It is so fucking hokey and poorly acted/written that I was embarrassed that I told anyone I was excited about it.

I will say that seeing the trailer and what her eyes looked like, I thought that in itself was going to ruin the experience for me. But there were so many things that out-shitified how Alita looked that I almost forgot about that by the end of the movie.

oh aye it's a right piece of shite. I hard when they announced it would be PG... sure, let's make films versions of Akira, or Ninja Scroll, or any of the other amazing anime classics and make it fucking PG

[The Bill]

Did they ever finish the Battle Angel anime series? I just saw the first one, and while I liked, it’s just sort of ends with a million and one unfinished ideas. I’m not reading the manga.

[Hunter]

Alita WAS pretty good. the sfx on the main character are so damn good. the main tweaks that would have pushed it up a notch were (1) making that rollerblade sport a bit less goofy, and (2) figuring out an ending that didn't involve a disembodied pretty-boy head on a stick figure body.

the fuck is wrong with y'all... Alita the manga was a fantastic, brutal cyberpunk comic with interesting characters, philosophical discussions, and fuckloads of gore. But even if you haven't read the manga, the film is so superficial, sterile and bland that it's not even a good scifi film for kids. Rodriguez's Sin City was such an excellent congenial film version of the comics that I had moderate hopes, but they were smashed in the first ten minutes.

I'm having a hard time reconciling that anyone who liked the Battle Angel Alita anime (my favorite anime of all time) wasn't let down by the live action movie. It is so fucking hokey and poorly acted/written that I was embarrassed that I told anyone I was excited about it.

I will say that seeing the trailer and what her eyes looked like, I thought that in itself was going to ruin the experience for me. But there were so many things that out-shitified how Alita looked that I almost forgot about that by the end of the movie.

oh aye it's a right piece of shite. I hard when they announced it would be PG... sure, let's make films versions of Akira, or Ninja Scroll, or any of the other amazing anime classics and make it fucking PG

I didn't see the anime or read the manga, plus I thought it looked like absolute shit from the jump. Every time I tried to revisit a Rodriguez movie I enjoyed the first go around, I've barely made it though to the end - mostly because the green screen looks dated, and I don't feel like he can get decent performances out of his actors. So with expectations so low and nothing to compare it to, I don't have any problem saying I enjoyed it. I would imagine the source material is far better written and nuanced, but if you compare it to the other modern action film peers, it's not bad! Granted, it's peers are mostly the equivalent of a rollercoaster ride that is forgotten the moment you walk out of the theater - so I'm not here championing the movie as some sort of triumph.

Similarly, I watched the live action version of Death Note on Netflix when that came out. I had no prior knowledge of the source material, and will give Adam Wingard flicks the benefit of the doubt - plus I wanted to see why everyone was hating on it. Again, I expected a shit show (and it kind of is), but by setting my expectations to the bottom of the barrel, I came away thinking "that wasn't so bad." I then watched the series, and it was great (up until it kinda ran out of steam at some point after a couple seasons?). I haven't rewatched the live action with the new context, as I'm sure it's not going to hold up.

I know movies can't be viewed in a vacuum, but these days, I try to set reasonable expectations so I can try to come away without being disappointed. That wasn't always the case though, I worked in video stores for over a decade and was a real snob about movies. Now, I am definitely more forgiving - but I still think Robert Rodriguez should probably not be allowed to direct anything.

[THE KILL]

Fair enough, man. You're probably a lot happier after the average film watching session

Did they ever finish the Battle Angel anime series? I just saw the first one, and while I liked, it’s just sort of ends with a million and one unfinished ideas.

There are only two episodes, and nothing else. I was always a huge fan of the manga, but I don't even remember watching the anime.

I’m not reading the manga.

Do it, ya boomer asshole

https://readmangabat.com/read-hj365276

[The Bill]

Do it, ya boomer asshole

https://readmangabat.com/read-hj365276

I completely ignored Battle Angel and went straight on to see if Berserk has resumed. Seems it has. I’ll wait till it concludes and re-read that for sure. I didn’t mind reading comics on my phone 10 years ago, but I can’t do it anymore. I probably have an old tablet somewhere, you Gen Z cocksucker.

[cxwx]

Redneck Zombies - 10/10

[Hunter]

Tetris ('23) - 6.5/10 - The story of Tetris is pretty heavily dramatized, and that's fine. It's entertaining enough, but didn't need to be 2 hours long. The portrayal of the Maxwells are pretty funny if you consider that they're Ghislane Maxwell's father and brother.

I'm hoping to get a chance to watch Backtrack ('90) soon, as Dennis Hopper is not only the director, but also the star - along with Jodie Foster, Joe Pesci, Fred Ward, John Turturro, Dean Stockwell, and Vincent Price as a mob boss.

[FVBTVS]

[THE KILL]

Do it, ya boomer asshole

https://readmangabat.com/read-hj365276

I completely ignored Battle Angel and went straight on to see if Berserk has resumed. Seems it has. I’ll wait till it concludes and re-read that for sure. I didn’t mind reading comics on my phone 10 years ago, but I can’t do it anymore. I probably have an old tablet somewhere, you Gen Z cocksucker.

I personally don't mind reading comics on a laptop with a nice big screen (a printed comic is of course preferable), but I can see how someone doesn't enjoy it. Still, I promise you it's worth it, it's one of my favourite comics. You silly old fart you.
/ Dan1981

[The Bill]

Do it, ya boomer asshole

https://readmangabat.com/read-hj365276

I completely ignored Battle Angel and went straight on to see if Berserk has resumed. Seems it has. I’ll wait till it concludes and re-read that for sure. I didn’t mind reading comics on my phone 10 years ago, but I can’t do it anymore. I probably have an old tablet somewhere, you Gen Z cocksucker.

I personally don't mind reading comics on a laptop with a nice big screen (a printed comic is of course preferable), but I can see how someone doesn't enjoy it. Still, I promise you it's worth it, it's one of my favourite comics. You silly old fart you.
/ Dan1981

What’s your opinion on Fist of the North Star, be it manga, that tv series, and the movie? Not the live action, now. Holy shit, what a load of piss and crap shoved into a condom, and then get raped with that while you have a bad cold… was that. Love the fucking movie. I put a nice dent into the manga, once. But so many issues to read. Still, probably my favorite Japanese “thing”. Love to know, my friend that isn’t that much older than me but you let women beat you up because you’re a cuck fag and like to take a strap on in the ass snowflake pussy, you!

The Bill/ 1976

[Necrometer]

I didn't see the anime or read the manga

me neither

you guys are pretty touchy about me saying something was "pretty good"

like hunter, my expectations were pretty low!

Alita is in that category of "I don't generally recommend this, but I am glad a story this out there got a half-decent adaptation" - see also Mortal Engines, Speed Racer, Valerian, maybe even Cloud Atlas?

my original review here was:

Alita 5.7/10 (10/10 on the cgi anime girl tho) Mike should watch this for whatever reasons he and I watched Mortal Engines

[Brutus Frank]

Bronson - 9/10

God what a gorgeous film

[THE KILL]

Do it, ya boomer asshole

https://readmangabat.com/read-hj365276

I completely ignored Battle Angel and went straight on to see if Berserk has resumed. Seems it has. I’ll wait till it concludes and re-read that for sure. I didn’t mind reading comics on my phone 10 years ago, but I can’t do it anymore. I probably have an old tablet somewhere, you Gen Z cocksucker.

I personally don't mind reading comics on a laptop with a nice big screen (a printed comic is of course preferable), but I can see how someone doesn't enjoy it. Still, I promise you it's worth it, it's one of my favourite comics. You silly old fart you.
/ Dan1981

What’s your opinion on Fist of the North Star, be it manga, that tv series, and the movie? Not the live action, now. Holy shit, what a load of piss and crap shoved into a condom, and then get raped with that while you have a bad cold… was that. Love the fucking movie. I put a nice dent into the manga, once. But so many issues to read. Still, probably my favorite Japanese “thing”. Love to know, my friend that isn’t that much older than me but you let women beat you up because you’re a cuck fag and like to take a strap on in the ass snowflake pussy, you!

The Bill/ 1976

now put down the broom you're shaking at the bobbysoxers going past your house on their skateboards for a moment and listen you fucking wrinkly prick: Fist of the North Star was the splatter gold standard for the best mate and I when we were kids - not that you remember what that was like since your brain and penis are likewise shrivelled because you're old (and ugly) - and it's a classic I hold dear in my heart. Tried to read the manga once or twice, but somehow I didn't make it more than a couple of hundred pages in... have you seen the US film from the 90s? It must be so terrible, but I wouldn't even know where to find a copy...

[THE KILL]

you guys are pretty touchy about me saying something was "pretty good"

we just expect more from a big-brained and attractive person like you? It's just a little disappointing when people whose opinion I value like shit things

[Necrometer]

what can I say, I'm a sucker for massive CGI eyes



edit: fucking vernon