The Bill's Now Playing Video Game Thread (Now with Bames)

[doomeddisciple]

Fallout 4 PS5 - can't load my PS4 save files, can't see a PS4 vs PS5 option if I delete and reinstall, can't hook the pip boy app up - blaaargh

[ghost boner]

I forgot about the pip boy app! Been playing that shit a lot lately. Game fucking rules

[The Bill]

Rouge Warrior beaten. It was pretty short but I'm positive I literally paid only a dollar for it. Generic military type shooter that probably thought it was a COD clone, but really it was an older style pre-Modern Warfare shooter like a Soldier of Fortune, Black, or one of those. Main character's shit talk was a hoot. It was okay.

Spin the Wheel, you Commie Cock Breath Mother Fucker!


Vice Project Doom (NES)





Vaguely familiar, but I know the AVGN recommended it in a video long time ago.

[The Bill]

UGH! That NES game kind of blows. GREAT graphics for the NES, but combine lackluster Spy Hunter, dumbed down Operation Wolf, a little NES Batman, and slightly more forgiving Ninja Gaiden and you get this. I find it annoying and boring, and the story is incoherent ramblings. Pass!


Spin the Wheel, Ally McBeil


FALLOUT


Nice! Good timing with the TV show. Is it 3, or 4? New Vegas? No, it's...


Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel (PS2)





Oh, the one that did so poorly that Interplay lost the rights to make Fallout 3 over it. But, it's like Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance, isn't it? Isn't it?!?

[The Bill]

As to be expected I’m not gonna finish that Fallout game. It’s fine as sort of a Mad Max Take on Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance. But anything Fallout is just a crude layer of sloppy paint thrown right out of the bucket on top of this game. This is no Fallout. But Fallout or no Fallout, the game is missing something, So we’re gonna have to pass.

I actually also beat Tomb Raider (2013), which I had been slowly picking away at for a while now. Love me a good Die Hard style adventure. I don’t like to just play one game nowadays. So, I like to have a Back up game that’s different Enough so I could possibly go back-and-forth when I’ve had enough of one of the video games for the day or what have you.

[The Bill]

So, huge update, because I know you all wait with baited breathe for the continuing misadventures of The Bill's electronic devilment. I had time to play two of these before I typed this.

The wheel choose:

LUST FROM BEYOND





Stole this from a site that promised survival horror in a Lovecraft meets GIGER world that has boobs. Well, it's unique to what I normally play, that's for sure. Graphically outstanding outside of character faces, which feel like graphics from a generation or two ago. It's a combination of Layers of Fear. Scorn, and Resident Evil 7. Some of it's cast of characters could be from Bioshock, and the main character's dialogue is quite good. The art style is very H.R. Giger and I guess Zdzisław Beksiński (I only know of him now, thanks to this game). Oh, and the Lovecraft influence is definitely there if Lovecraft was a pervert because THIS GAME IS BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHY!! So much fetish shit and I've been gay raped, damnit! It's hard to play this with the family around, although the boy is aware of it. Wife almost caught me giving a masked bitch doggie style. Game can be oddly mundane, though. So much walking around to find an item. Reuses locations a lot. Still, there's something oddly well done about it, and it gets in your head. Sutter Cane for depraved fucks.


The next game wasn't a spin. I just saw it and grabbed it and played some based on YouTube reviews whacking off to it:

MULLET MADJACK





On paper this is not my shit at all. I hate timed anything, an archaic abomination from the NES/Arcade days. Guess what, game has you killing enemies within a 10 second timer or die, as you speed run through tight linear levels, while also managing a health bar. I'd call it a glorified mobile game, except it gives you an option to turn off the timer, and play it as a normal "boomer shooter". Oh, now I like this game lots. Nothing to spend a lot of time on in one sitting, but 10 short stages and a boss fight is the usual so far, and that's good to go for a while.


Mullet isn't a proper full game, and I can't play porn all day without discovery so:

Spin that Wheel, Eel!

THE DARKNESS II





Beat the 360 version when ever it came out. Not as good as the first, but I remember it being fine. Very violent at the time. I think they switched to that cell shading look to trivialize the gore, since this was before those new Mortal Kombat and DOOM games really took it further.

[The Bill]

Are you ready, kids?

Lust from Beyond, finished. I've stopped playing better games than this. Porn becomes body horror porn. I was annoyed a lot and never once turned on. Zero Faps!

Mullet Madjack, NEXT! Fun at first then same, same, same. Gloried mobile game.

Darkness II, That's enough. Played enough to get the full refresher course. Forgot the enemies become "bullet sponges" and suddenly you have to become repetitive and boring in dealing with them. Biggest issue is it loses the original game's gritty feeling in favor of comic book silliness. It's the same mistake Doom Eternal made. Fair thee well, game.

I'm going to roll the wheel of destiny twice:

First spin!


CHOP GOBLINS


From the creator of DUSK. I tried this for two seconds a few years ago. I feel like it's Tales from the Darkside the game, and I don't know why. I have positive expectations with this one.



next spin...


THE PUNISHER


Uncensored PC version of a PS2 era tie in to the Thomas Jane Punisher film from 2004. Except it's not. It takes plenty of stuff from the excellent 2004 Punisher comics. I love the torture and brutality that this uncensored version brings, and drunkenly I've probably played the first few levels dozens of times. Now it's time to do it for real. I feel like this is one of my bucket list games, and I may just drop dead if I beat it.

[The Bill]

I’m trying not to spam much more then I’m already doing, but I’ll be goddamned if I allow this thread to sink into page 2.

The Punisher - Beat! Better than it should be but still carries junk from the PS2 era. I’m a punisher fan, but even I need the uncensored version to feel the sadist love.

Chop Goblins - Beat. Short, not bad. Very short.

Aliens vs Predator (2010) - Beat. Only Marine campaign, good, also short. Game gives the scared till you get used to those bastards.

Karm - Deleted! Awful “boomer shooter”. It’s like someone made a bad Quake 2 mod inside of GZDoom.

Bears in Space - Deleted! Who made this? Was it millennials? Because the game thinks it’s funny but it not in that new lame humor way millennials have.

Secret of Monkey Island (Remaster) - Beat! This is the second largest Monkey Island Remaster I’ve seen.

Time is running out fast before my summer hiatus .

The Wheel picked Phantom Fury. It was supposed to be the real Duke Nukem Forever but I hear not great things. We’ll see.

[The Bill]

Phantom Fury fucking sucks and not in that fuck and suck good way your Mom does me. I want to like it, and it seems like there’s good here, but miserable performance from a pixelated game plus let’s sort of remix Half-Life and Halo’s intro levels and they fumbled the ball so hard I want to fuck a Hindu. That how crumby it all is. I want to fuck a stinky Hindu… woman.

[The Bill]

Wheel says..

No!But I must, but no!

Ninja Gaiden 2.

Fuck me, fuck you, fuck every thing.

[The Bill]

Fuck you!!!$!!!!!!

[The Bill]

New DUMB… I mean DOOM coming. I know when I play DOOM I want shields, mechs, and flying on dragons.

[ghost boner]

Dude, really?! That looks fucking AWESOME

[Eight Bit Alien]

My initial reaction was ambivalent, much like our beloved The Bill peace and blessings be upon him. The dragon flying and Phantom Menace monsters looked like more Doom Eternal shit which i disliked immensely. But after watching this I'm definitely way more interested, especially with this claim that they rebuilt the combat to play closer to the og games

[FVBTVS]

still cant put my finger on what wasnt working for me in eternal

[Eight Bit Alien]

Not being able to go anywhere in the fake ass levels, shiny goof monster graphics, fucking n64 mario platforming in between every fight, all your ammo and life being completely dependent on drops you get while fighting, fights being konami code fatality button combo shit. Long blahblah sections of awful lore, but also really wacky silly.

[spacehamster]

Hahaha, Medieval Spawn Doomguy.

I'm so in.

[The Bill]

Not being able to go anywhere in the fake ass levels, shiny goof monster graphics, fucking n64 mario platforming in between every fight, all your ammo and life being completely dependent on drops you get while fighting, fights being konami code fatality button combo shit. Long blahblah sections of awful lore, but also really wacky silly.

Listen, it could be just personal taste, could be, but the fact James and I agree 100% on all these things tells me James and I are indeed correct, it’s not an opinion thing, they hipster-bastardized a legendary game to make some garbage they could have named something else.

If this new game gets ride of all the Eternal crapulence then I’ll consider trying it. But, the lore is still Eternal’s, I see, and blocking shit is not DOOM, so they’re already off to a bad start with me.


The wheel has been put to bed till September, so I downloaded a lot, and I mean a lot of demos off Steam, all from an indie/boomer shooter fest. There is so much crap being created with the Unity engine, that I’m getting pavlovian LJN responses from seeing the Unity logo. And so many have female main characters, you cuckold xasthur fans! They all sucked except 4 games that are fucking great. 3 run on the GZDoom engine which is utter madness and makes me further dislike Unity. The fourth has its own engine. The games are Selaco, The Last Exterminator, The Age of Hell, and Wizordum.

[Whee of the Dead]

any ultra violent shoot em up games like the first few Doom's you guys recommend. They can be vintage or a modern nerd making a vintage game. Just want to brutal gore kill while listening to Terrorizer. Thanks.

[featherboa]

I wanted to install frozen throne, but it won't work on my arm computer. Probably for the best

[The Bill]

any ultra violent shoot em up games like the first few Doom's you guys recommend. They can be vintage or a modern nerd making a vintage game. Just want to brutal gore kill while listening to Terrorizer. Thanks.

Off the top of my head:

Blood
Half-Life
FEAR
Unreal
Heretic
Quake 2
Bulletstorm
Halo Reach (If alien blood suffices)
Duke Nukem 3D
Soldier of Fortune
Serious Sam
Dusk
Hellbound
Wolfenstein (2014)
DOOM (2016)
Ion Fury
Postal 2
Turbo Overkill
Prodeus
Sniper Elite games (not First person but if you want slow motion bullets inpaling organs including testicles…)

[The Bill]

I went back to the Slayer-X “boomer shooter”. Of all the games to be inspired from, it’s obvious now this is an homage to Redneck Rampage of all things. The humor is not ironic as I once thought, it’s a parody on what was thought as cool and funny during the era of Limp Bizcuts height of popularity. The game is fine. I’d of liked it better if it came out when Limp Bizcut was popular, oddly enough. I’m crotchety and sardonic now, I get bored easy with games I never played before. Eh, I think so might be almost half done, so I’ll travel this road a touch longer and see.

I also tried Evil West, not to be confused with Blood West, , Hard West, or Weird West. I didn’t know about this one, yet. Could go either way, but if it stays this melee centric I’ll probably abandon ship.

[The Bill]

Fuck both those games. Now playing Vanquish. Is 360 era Platinum the best developer of the 360 era?

[spacehamster]

Vanquish fucking rules and I'll never not be bitter that it didn't get a sequel.

[The Bill]

Vanquish fucking rules and I'll never not be bitter that it didn't get a sequel.

Fucking perfect action yet horrendous story. I can see why a sequel didn’t happen. It’s like pro-wrasslin’, Bud. The greatest in ring match ain’t shit if the story and feud is ass. Why not a different game with the same play style and combat, Platinum?

I’m at Disney World right now. I plan on playing Vanquish once I return, but I have a history of being inspired and play or watching something I hadn’t planned on based on random events in the real world. Those real life events want me to play Super Mario World, right now. Fucking Florida. If Italy is the boot, Florida is the stinky sock.