The Bill's Now Playing Video Game Thread (Now with Bames)

[The Bill]

Motherfucker. It’s clear as day now. Wind Waker “stole” a ton of shit from Metal Gear Solid. I’ll be damned.

[The Bill]

I used to love game demos. Late 90’s and most of 2K… there were a ton. Even the PS1 would have a bunch on disks. I think they stopped mid way through the 360 era. I didn’t even realize Steam had demos for a bunch of the stuff I have on the Wishlist. So, I downloaded a bunch.

Today I tried:

Brutal John. It’s brutal alright, and it’s John for sure. John as in “I have to go to the John, and take a dump.” An unapologetic Duke Nukem clone. And it fucking sucks. The main character sounds like a deep voiced Down syndrome douche who thinks it witty to name the titles of superior First Person Shooters. It’s dull and shitty. It has Gauntlet style monster generators you need to destroy. Fail, you’re off the Wishlist, Brutal John.

[Eight Bit Alien]

Demo disks ruled. PC Gamer had a series of em which contained an ongoing adventure meta-game about Coconut Monkey. Could never solve most of those puzzles.......

[The Bill]

Anger Foot can fuck off as well. I did like the graphics and physics, but this is just a pretty mobile game. I can see playing this on the kids’ iPad at an airport 8 years ago, but not on my PC, ever. Removed from Wishlist.

[The Bill]

Demo disks ruled. PC Gamer had a series of em which contained an ongoing adventure meta-game about Coconut Monkey. Could never solve most of those puzzles.......

Oh shit. I played the Coconut Monkey Quake II mods/levels. The author is the USS Darkstar/They Hunger author for Half-Life mods. Darkstar references Coconut Monkey.

[FVBTVS]

[riley-o]

PS5 Demons Souls is really gorgeous despite being a lesser Souls game

[Toilet Fleet]

I'm absolutely dumbfounded about how badly made NBA 2k24 is for Switch (it's bad on other consoles too but I play Switch almost exclusively now)

Beyond the all-but-unusable online play and least competent computer defense imaginable, the amount of freewheeling the game does controls-wise mid game is absolutely astounding. Point guard took a step back to reset? You sure he didn't take three wild lunges into a backcourt violation? You may have tried to grab an offensive rebound, but wouldn't it be better if your player jumped two more times as the ball heads back the other way? Sure, you pressed steal once on the perimeter to keep the ballhandler honest, but now that you're back to playing on ball, we think you meant to give him a bear hug.

Every paying customer is a beta tester.

[The Bill]

I tried some more demos. They’ve mostly been GZDoom games and unless it’s really special I’m not paying for Doom total conversions. In fact, I can’t even remember their titles except:

Captain Wayne: GZDoom wannabe Duke Nukem. There’s personality here but not worth paying for. Also, I hate shooters where it’s one weapon doing multiple tasks. I this case the dude has a gun arm. Also, too much fucking jumping.

Coven: This is the most goddamn violent thing I’ve played in memory. Motherfuckers be bleeding everywhere and you eat their kneecaps, lips, balls … You’re a witch and they burn you at the stake in first person. Graphics are that retro nonsense and the draw distance is brutal, but the blood and gore is everywhere. Needs much polishing, and this demo is most definitely a pre-alpha. Gets a bit boring since ammo and magic is scarce so you’re stuck with boring melee. Still, this one is staying on the Wishlist.


New Years Eve, the boy and I played Slay the Princess. It’s basically a choose your own adventure book the video game, but it’s done really well. Kind of game Pisscubes would make GOTY.

[Eight Bit Alien]

I'm absolutely dumbfounded about how badly made NBA 2k24 is for Switch (it's bad on other consoles too but I play Switch almost exclusively now)

Beyond the all-but-unusable online play and least competent computer defense imaginable, the amount of freewheeling the game does controls-wise mid game is absolutely astounding. Point guard took a step back to reset? You sure he didn't take three wild lunges into a backcourt violation? You may have tried to grab an offensive rebound, but wouldn't it be better if your player jumped two more times as the ball heads back the other way? Sure, you pressed steal once on the perimeter to keep the ballhandler honest, but now that you're back to playing on ball, we think you meant to give him a bear hug.

Every paying customer is a beta tester.

I played a handful of switch games online and they were all broken worse than Quake on dialup. Like no hubs or servers, just matchmaking with a progress wheel that never stops spinning. I think they've selectively neglected it because online console stuff = screaming gamer words, and they want to be the family company... but its like, I fucking paid for this subscription. It doesn't even fuckin work.

Classic feature of the market post gold standard, shit either doesn't work properly or someone gets to call your niece the n-word. There's really never any middle ground.

[FVBTVS]

[Toilet Fleet]

I'm absolutely dumbfounded about how badly made NBA 2k24 is for Switch (it's bad on other consoles too but I play Switch almost exclusively now)

Beyond the all-but-unusable online play and least competent computer defense imaginable, the amount of freewheeling the game does controls-wise mid game is absolutely astounding. Point guard took a step back to reset? You sure he didn't take three wild lunges into a backcourt violation? You may have tried to grab an offensive rebound, but wouldn't it be better if your player jumped two more times as the ball heads back the other way? Sure, you pressed steal once on the perimeter to keep the ballhandler honest, but now that you're back to playing on ball, we think you meant to give him a bear hug.

Every paying customer is a beta tester.

I played a handful of switch games online and they were all broken worse than Quake on dialup. Like no hubs or servers, just matchmaking with a progress wheel that never stops spinning. I think they've selectively neglected it because online console stuff = screaming gamer words, and they want to be the family company... but its like, I fucking paid for this subscription. It doesn't even fuckin work.

Classic feature of the market post gold standard, shit either doesn't work properly or someone gets to call your niece the n-word. There's really never any middle ground.

But these are all the publishers' servers? Like, yeah, Nintendo doesn't want to be another slurs peripheral but the sheer incapability of making online work is at least equally with the studios and their backend. Of note, I've had like zero problems with Mario Kart online

I haven't tried Goldeneye though, which I think is possible to play network multi? The 13 year old living in me loves the idea but probably won't ever get around to it because meh

[Eight Bit Alien]

Idk lol


I absolutely fucking bodied that Goldeneye port, way more fun than I thought I'd have - that old shit sometimes disappoints on the re-play. But maaaan that game is fun. They really got the Switch controls dialed in right, too.

I played it on my homebrew criminal-NAND so I didn't try The Online

I guess i should watch the goldeneye movie someday, its fucking weird that the n64 adaptation has such a life outside of the source material. Like nobody who talks about the game ever gives a fucking shit about the motion picture

[spacehamster]

Armored Core finally managed to grab me after like a year of no baming. I've never played any of the previous ones because the series mostly fell into the PS2 era, but this shit's fun if you like giant robots and games that kick you in the balls a lot.

[The Bill]

Armored Core finally managed to grab me after like a year of no baming. I've never played any of the previous ones because the series mostly fell into the PS2 era, but this shit's fun if you like giant robots and games that kick you in the balls a lot.

The nearest I ever got to a Mech game was Shogo. U’mm, PC fps made by the Blood, FEAR people. There’s a lot of flying blood in it, and think the story involves you banging 2 sisters, but no catfight

[spacehamster]

I've never played any mech games, AC, Battletech or otherwise.

Unless you count MUSHA Aleste, which we should, because it's in the top 3 Jap Shmups ever.

[Eight Bit Alien]

METAL WARRIORS

[spacehamster]

METAL WARRIORS

Damn... never seen this game before, and I really wonder why. We did have a SNES at the time, and this looks like it would've blown my socks off as a kid.

[Eight Bit Alien]

It's reputed to have had a low print run. My freind owned a copy as a kid, and I never saw it anywhere else.

Its a really really fun title, although it becomes repetitive pretty quickly. Like the ideas are all incredible for the time, but fleshing it out into a full game... they weren't quite there yet

Mostly I remember being fucking hypnotized by the intro cinematic, still gets me pumped

[spacehamster]

There probably just wasn't a PAL version at all, if I had to guess.

But watching this gameplay now, I'm just struck for the millionth time by how well these games have aged. I've never seen this before, so it's not the nostalgia talking - it just looks great.

[The Bill]

I've never played any mech games, AC, Battletech or otherwise.

Unless you count MUSHA Aleste, which we should, because it's in the top 3 Jap Shmups ever.

Well, if you count Shmups, then I guess I’ve played a few. Also counting NES games like Guardian Legend. And games like Riddick, Metal Gear Solid 3, or FEAR 2, where you pilot a Mech for a level or 2.

[The Bill]

Oops! Double Mech’ed.


Finished Episode 2 of Turbo Overkill. Fuck this shit is real hard sometimes.

[doomeddisciple]

Summer playlist thus far:

Plague Tale Requiem - Grim last of us esque gameplay enjoyable.
God of War Valhalla - Turn GoW into a Hades-esue rougle like-lite - Good times
Evil West - Only played 30 minutes - meh

[The Bill]

Plague Tale Requiem - Grim last of us esque gameplay enjoyable.

I rather liked the first one. Something Star Wars or Willow about it. This one was much more Game of Thrones. I liked it but its cutscenes are what made me turn sour on lengthy cutscenes.



Started my replay of Quake 2 via the remaster. Goddamn this game really is so good. And the navigation system just seals the deal. I forgot how good this games super shotgun is and I forgot how nasty the enemies are. Motherfucker with a minigun and grenade launcher that shoots four at a time.

[doomeddisciple]

I gotta admit I was skipping through quite a few on the back 9 toward the end.