THE KILL wrote: ↑Tue Dec 06, 2022 10:39 am
Cone on man, don't be like that - and I mean the dissing of the Saturn as well as that fun-denying attitude...
anyway, at some point of its life the Saturn became the supreme 2d arcade game conversion console, see the Capcom fighters etc., and many of those games are still great today obviously. Unfortunately, you can nowadays simply emulate the original arcade versions, but in the 90s proper arcade conversions were the shit. Still, there seem to be great exclusives for the system, like Prius Dragoon Saga, the Shining Games, Legend of Oasis, Lunar, and Guardian Heroes.
Hey man sorry. Listen.
My nephew put a virus on my computer, and it makes tiny computer watermelons appear on the screen when im typing. It confuses and startles me, and it also tricks me because they look so juicy and delicious that I get hungry. So while I'm trying to send emails to my boss or write on the Relapse board, I start to notice little watermelons, and before you know it I start slobbering and drooling all over the place - and thats about when everything "goes Haywire"!! It's only the beginning of My Headaches!
I don't know if you remember your science classes, but drool (water) is "nature's aux cable". So once I've built up a healthy column of slobber going straight from my head into my keyboard, before you know it I've got little short circuits happening left and right. I'll try to type "chicken recipes" and then BOOM - WATERMELON! Suddenly my hole starts pouring fluid, and a moment later my fingers get zapped with tiny lightning strikes! And before you can say boo, a darn shorted circuit has changed my google search into "bomb bridge Islamic terror cell" or "middle school wet t shirt swim team 2022"!!! All because my nephew thinks he's some kinda space age Bart Simpson!
And that's not the worst of it - not by a long shot! As if I didn't have enough to worry about what with the watermelons, drool-mouth, electric lightning fingers and mistyped emails, the darn pool of water will slide right out of my keyboard and into MY CROTCH! Thats right, if I see one of these pesky watermelons, then before you know it my lap is wetter than a dog who fell off a boat!
So before long I've got gigantic arcs of 120v lightning shooting straight outta my computer and all along my poor pulsating private-part pecker! I'm mistyping letters to Grandma, getting confused about fruit, and having my crotch electrocuted all at once!!!!!!
So please understand that when I say things like "Sega Saturn games are all retarded weeaboo games like Genki Genki Quest and Nip Nip Chicken Puzzle Racing" it's not what I meant to type at all! It's all because of these darn watermelons and my poor electrocuted penis!!!