The Bill's Now Playing Video Game Thread (Now with Bames)

[FVBTVS]

Every time I get interested in that Baldur’s Gate they drop another gigantic patch. I want the final product, damnit!

they keep doing this with cyberpunk. its pretty awesome but i still have barely touched the thing and im not sure when to finally start

[Brutus Frank]

As soon as it's as good as you want it will be so outdated that it will no longer be the immersive fantasy that you crave by the standards of the day.

[The Bill]

Every time I get interested in that Baldur’s Gate they drop another gigantic patch. I want the final product, damnit!

they keep doing this with cyberpunk. its pretty awesome but i still have barely touched the thing and im not sure when to finally start

I do believe Cyberpunk is getting one last huge patch very soon and that’s that. But the patch is adding a transit system amongst other stuff,,which seems like a big deal. I was playing Cyberpunk this time last year. I thought it was excellent and supposedly after this year, it’s now extra excellent.

[Krieg]

I never expected to say this but, I think I am going to buy an Steam Deck OLED. Like today. Shit.

[The Bill]

This looks annoying:

[FVBTVS]

you baby

tom petty for ever

[FVBTVS]

at least it looks like they invested substantial engine resources to make gigantic booties look juicy and delicious

[Eight Bit Alien]

Dancing and watering the lawn is what everyone always wanted from gta tho

[The Bill]

I don’t know. I actually don’t like the GTA games, except for V. And even in that game, I skipped a few missions.

[Eight Bit Alien]

Too much driving

[The Bill]

Too much driving

Too much timed driving where you can’t scratch up the car too much. Also, except for V, atrocious controls.

Who even has faith in these assholes after that embarrassing Remaster debacle. And why isn’t Red Dead on PC, yet? And that fucking Rockstar Launcher! Fuck Rockstar.

[Eight Bit Alien]

GTA 3 3 had too much driving

I liked the first city but I quit after I had to drive a hippie van for 20 fucking minutes across some valley

although to be fair, one time when I was about 17 I took a bunch of pills and spent the entire night driving around in Vice City just listening to the radio shows. That was a good evening

[The Bill]

I love my old PC first person shooters, so I always look into these “remasters”. Nightdive Studios is especially good at them. It should come as no surprise then I have Kingpin: Life of Crime Reloaded Steam wishlisted. Oh boy, the bloom, the blood, the lens flares…. THE LOADING TIME. What the shit is this:











I’m still getting it, aren’t I?

[FVBTVS]

that remaster shit was insane but it's hard to lay it at the feet of the people who were actually balls deep in development of gta 6 while that was being done right

[The Bill]

that remaster shit was insane but it's hard to lay it at the feet of the people who were actually balls deep in development of gta 6 while that was being done right

I still can’t comprehend why they claimed to have updated the controls, but didn’t really. It’s not like GTA 4, 5, and both Red Dead games don’t have standard third person control schemes. I get that at the time of GTA 3’s release controls were still wonky due to the PS1 era hangover, although Halo did come out the same year. So, what’s up with Vice City and Los Santos? Fucking clowns.

[The Bill]

Beat Rise of the Tomb Raider.

Watching footage of Kingpin made me a little nostalgic for older games. I think I’ll (via glorious emulation) play Metal Gear Solid (PS1) and/or Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (NGC).

Dig it!!!

[The Bill]

Metal Gear Solid: I haven’t played this version (PS1) since 1999. Since, I’ve beat the early 2K PC version maybe twice, beat the GameCube version maybe twice, and beat the GameCube version via PC emulation once (two years ago now?). Obviously, the emulator is making it a ton better looking and sounding due to Duckstation’s voodoo, but it really was a damn finely polished piece of business. I’m noticing all these little things I hadn’t before, like automatic hand dryers and Meryl’s nipples. Skipping Kojima’s idiotic cutscene history lessons about war, anime, and whatnot is a must.


Turbo Overkill: Started the second chapter. Dear God, this fucking game. I would have loved the shit out of this back in my teens and 20’s. As it is, I can’t play too long without my brain melting from dealing with a turbo overkill of non-stop total action. The fucker even has proper story and excellent to the point cutscenes. I except great things from whoever made this.


Dusk (HD): When Dusk first came out (5 years now?!) everyone was masto batin on the toilet over it. But not me, damn you! I can get with the retro PS1, Quake, Duke Nukem, and so on style and era graphics. But Dusk looked like a bad Quake 2 or Half-Life total conversion from back in the day. The real shitty ones. I tried to play it twice but the game just looked like complete crap to me. Well, lo and behold, they released a ‘HD’ free update. The guns look like guns now. Trees don’t look like 5 year old finger painting anymore. I can tell what the enemies are supposed to be. Now, it looks like a good Half-Life mod. No, it looks better than that. Not much better, but it’s fixed my issue with it. Play this after Turbo Overkill.

[Krieg]

The Steam Deck OLED is a very solid portable console. What a weird world.

[The Bill]

The Steam Deck OLED is a very solid portable console. What a weird world.

The Steam Deck OLED is a very solid portable console. What a weird world.

I’m probably going back to Greece this summer for 2 months. I’m looking into one of those portable emulator handhelds that play 2000 arcade game and 4 Turbografix 16 games (I don’t know what you Europeans called it, PC Engine?).

Beat PS1 Metal Gear Solid. Don’t care if I lose Nerd points, but the GameCube version is better.

[The Bill]

All the NPC’s in Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker are grumpy or unfulfilled fags, pedos, ugly women, or Zelda who makes you a pedo in the greatest meta pedo maneuver of all time.

Liberals, is Windwaker exclusive or parody? Can’t tell anymore.

[THE KILL]

Finally caved and bought a Switch with Mario Wonder. It's a nice game with lots of cool ideas, but that's it. I also bought Blasphemous 2, really looking forward to playing that. Maybe I should just rebuy Inside and Hyperlight Drifter and play those...

[The Bill]

The bird people in Wind Waker are obviously the Jews. It’s is just as awesome as Phantom Menace with the less than subtle “who are these creatures really”.

Moblins are African Americans.

[The Bill]

Who here played that Death Standing? I downloaded it just to see what’s going on around here with that. Beautiful game that runs great, but I had to skip 59 friggin cutscenes just to play as some clumsy nitwit.


My Zelda save got corrupted somehow and if I want to continue I have to replay a few sections then go to Dragon Roost and replay a chunk of that. I don’t know if I want to do that. But, men’s, 4K plus some nerds custom textures that even fancy up shadows and shaders make this look like a Studio Ghibli anime.

[Hunter]

Who here played that Death Standing? I downloaded it just to see what’s going on around here with that. Beautiful game that runs great, but I had to skip 59 friggin cutscenes just to play as some clumsy nitwit.

I played through Death Stranding and loved it. I would not recommend it to someone who hates cutscenes, but as an arcade-raised kid who skips them at-all-costs, I made it through these (mostly). I knew what I was getting in to - so I put it on when I wanted to watch a movie. That was enough to get me hooked - plus it felt a little eerie to be playing during the pandemic. If I remember correctly, it starts as a bit of a grind, but once you get some vehicles/gadgets, things pick up.

Finally caved and bought a Switch with Mario Wonder. It's a nice game with lots of cool ideas, but that's it. I also bought Blasphemous 2, really looking forward to playing that. Maybe I should just rebuy Inside and Hyperlight Drifter and play those...

Yeah, it's pretty straightforward - but that's part of it's charm for me. I don't worry about picking it up again after a while of not playing. It always manages to have a trick up it's sleeve.

[The Bill]

Dolphin emulator basically update’s everyday (I use the nightly builds, there better than the official release). Last update apparently removed something and changed something and I don’t know what they do, honestly. Anyhow, Dolphin isn’t doing the random stuttering and stopped with the corrupt quick saves. Plays beautifully once again, so I’m back to Zelda, and it’s been a pleasure.

That being said, did most dorkiest of nerds back in 2004(?) masto bate to pirate Zelda or bird girl. I bet most of these were already jacking it to Sonic MS Paint porn, so they chose the bird. It’s a bird and a hedge hog, you sick fucks!