Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Music posts are a bannable offense.
Post Reply
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

Me: “hey our documentation claims X only works in case of Y [ what Y actual is being described as is in a rather confusing manner ] can you clarify that?”

Leadership doofus 1 : “yes that is correct, Y must occur EXACTLY that way for X to work.”

Leadership doofus 2: “X can can technically work without Y but it doesn’t work that well”

Leadership doofus 1: “oh uh, well, that’s actually what I meant, what doofus 2 said, yeah that’s it, ignore what I just said a few seconds ago.”

Leadership doofus 3: “does clarify for you?”

Me: “😐
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

Someone actually said “this is a new paradigm” and I just wanted to start screaming the lines from The Simpsons about stupid people using buzz word to sound important in a Rainer Landfermann voice.
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

Sure I’d love to work 12 hours today and be the only person in my department for the last 6 hours of my shift 🙃
The Bill
PLAID MEMBER
PLAID MEMBER
Posts: 10259
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:33 am
Location: Beyond the Oceans of Time and Space, Sometimes New York

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by The Bill »

Dancers are the greatest athletes in the world.
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

Why the fuck should I have to take time out of my personal life to send you screen shots of my pay check to make sure YOU are paying me correctly.
User avatar
the awesome Assassin
Sweet Lord _______
Posts: 16455
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:20 pm
Location: Parts Unknown

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by the awesome Assassin »

cxwx wrote: Mon Jun 21, 2021 5:24 pm Why the fuck should I have to take time out of my personal life to send you screen shots of my pay check to make sure YOU are paying me correctly.
Well when the HQ of the call centre is in Bangalore you really can't just go to tne office... And really what else do you have going on...
User avatar
godofdeadlydeath
Jesus never gave me that bike!
Posts: 4403
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:15 pm
Location: Masshole

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by godofdeadlydeath »

cxwx wrote: Mon Jun 21, 2021 5:24 pm Why the fuck should I have to take time out of my personal life to send you screen shots of my pay check to make sure YOU are paying me correctly.
You overheard someone saying this? It's not really dumb.
Stabbed in the eyes with a fucking caak...

https://soundcloud.com/mthomassteele
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

the awesome Assassin wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:37 am
cxwx wrote: Mon Jun 21, 2021 5:24 pm Why the fuck should I have to take time out of my personal life to send you screen shots of my pay check to make sure YOU are paying me correctly.
Well when the HQ of the call centre is in Bangalore you really can't just go to tne office... And really what else do you have going on...
We can’t all be posthole diggers
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

godofdeadlydeath wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 9:41 am
cxwx wrote: Mon Jun 21, 2021 5:24 pm Why the fuck should I have to take time out of my personal life to send you screen shots of my pay check to make sure YOU are paying me correctly.
You overheard someone saying this? It's not really dumb.
Sorry, my context was unclear there. No one actually said that, I was just a venting my inner monologue after what I was told.
User avatar
godofdeadlydeath
Jesus never gave me that bike!
Posts: 4403
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:15 pm
Location: Masshole

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by godofdeadlydeath »

That makes more sense. And yes, that system sucks.
Stabbed in the eyes with a fucking caak...

https://soundcloud.com/mthomassteele
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

godofdeadlydeath wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:23 pm That makes more sense. And yes, that system sucks.
I love she tries to like reverse mind fuck me telling me how I’m generally one of their best performers and that’s why our meetings are always canceled because I’m one of the people who rarely needs to be told what I need to improve on, and it isn’t really a time to go over general problems, only issues I’D be expected to fix. Not issues THEY’D be expected to fix. ( trying to appeal to my vanity, yet at the same time
there really is no other set time to go over this kind of shit )
User avatar
the awesome Assassin
Sweet Lord _______
Posts: 16455
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:20 pm
Location: Parts Unknown

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by the awesome Assassin »

cxwx wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 2:49 pm
godofdeadlydeath wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:23 pm That makes more sense. And yes, that system sucks.
I love she tries to like reverse mind fuck me telling me how I’m generally one of their best performers and that’s why our meetings are always canceled because I’m one of the people who rarely needs to be told what I need to improve on, and it isn’t really a time to go over general problems, only issues I’D be expected to fix. Not issues THEY’D be expected to fix. ( trying to appeal to my vanity, yet at the same time
there really is no other set time to go over this kind of shit )
Hahaha...
User avatar
kevin hash
One Of Many Accounts
Posts: 2136
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 3:09 pm
Location: atlanta georgia

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by kevin hash »

Fuck you Mitch you are too much of a lithium junkie to have a job.

Fuckin dork.
TROLL WORLD ORDER 4 LIFE

:invcross: BUNGVOX got powerbombed off the stage because he wasn't T.W.O 4 LIFE brother. :invcross:

my hound dog's dump still hot - zerohero
User avatar
godofdeadlydeath
Jesus never gave me that bike!
Posts: 4403
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:15 pm
Location: Masshole

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by godofdeadlydeath »

I just got flashbacks to when I managed a team of 7 direct reports and half the time I'd cancel my weekly check-ins with my team members because they had no real updates and god damn I hated that fucking job and I'm so glad I'm not in it any more
Stabbed in the eyes with a fucking caak...

https://soundcloud.com/mthomassteele
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

godofdeadlydeath wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 6:57 am I just got flashbacks to when I managed a team of 7 direct reports and half the time I'd cancel my weekly check-ins with my team members because they had no real updates and god damn I hated that fucking job and I'm so glad I'm not in it any more
We actually had a nice chat. Shit’s cool and the gang now.
User avatar
Necrophilic Mallard
COOTIES
Posts: 6627
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 7:13 pm
Location: Seattle

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Necrophilic Mallard »

This exchange...
Guy:
"I really like the phrase 'tribal knowledge', people will know what that means"

"You're going to type anything but that, huh?"

Other person: "it's not PC anymore"

Manager: "some people might take offense to that"

Guy: *Scoff*
Fact #7
From an empirical viewpoint, the problem with Free Will (and causality) is reconciling determinism and freedom to make sense of morality.
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

tribal knowledge is a good indication that the company sucks if there is that much of a disconnect between the on the ground employees and management. It shouldn’t have to exist in the first place if the people in charge actually knew how things worked and what the fuck was going on.
User avatar
Necrophilic Mallard
COOTIES
Posts: 6627
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 7:13 pm
Location: Seattle

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Necrophilic Mallard »

it means documentation is shit, and there's people who by trial and error have figured out how to operate it properly but it's never been formalized.
Fact #7
From an empirical viewpoint, the problem with Free Will (and causality) is reconciling determinism and freedom to make sense of morality.
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

Necrophilic Mallard wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 12:03 pm it means documentation is shit, and there's people who by trial and error have figured out how to operate it properly but it's never been formalized.
Yes, that was my point. We’re in agreement here.
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

“I paid my nephew almost four hundred bucks to do installation for me, I want to be reimbursed”

Image
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

“We’d really appreciate if it you stopped clocking in two minutes early for your shift
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

Manager: “hey you are ranked really high but for this shift bid I want to save the best shift for our top #1 ranked person

Here’s some other shifts:

[a bunch of garbage, split shifts]”

Me: sure okay, let me know if that other shift still ends up being available

…later….

Manager: “hey there, I ended up giving myself that shift you wanted. hope that’s cool.”

Me: -_-
User avatar
Geeheeb
Shit Stadium 4000
Posts: 24117
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:18 am
Location: Lansing, MI
Contact:

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Geeheeb »

I was just approached by an employee; she wants me to do some research on these [SMALL WIFI COMMUNICATIONS DEVICES] about the fact that they are 5G and it's not good to have them next to your heart. This is news to me. I told her hundreds of hospitals around the country use these things if there was a problem someone would have heard about it by now.
FVBTVS wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pmfrom enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
User avatar
cxwx
clown shaped void that used to be a human being
Posts: 5399
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:17 pm
Location: Fifty Island Water

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

Being laid off and rehired by the same company for the fourth time in four years. This new project has a $240 per month pay cut, seems like it will be worse work, but the worst part is there doesn’t seem to be any bonus structure. I am currently averaging about $1000 a month (pre tax) just in bonuses, which is now evaporating. Oh well, jobs a job. Beats dancing in the street for nickels. On the bright side maybe I’ll lose some weight if I’m too broke to afford food.
Post Reply