Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

[Necrophilic Mallard]

Would he be able to disposition/dematerialize this?

Well I don't know what you mean by dematerialize, but maybe he does?

[cxwx]

I think he wants you to beam the tribbles over to the Klingon ship.

[cxwx]

About two weeks into training at a new job and had to witness one of the trainers being fired ( the manager didn’t actually say “you’re fired”
but it was pretty obvious what was happening.) I don’t know why this needed to happen in front of us with only about 15 minutes of the day left. The other trainer had to finish class while choking back tears. Oh, and some dipshit almost started a fire by dropping a lit butt in to an indoor garbage can. I’m not exactly welling up with confidence about working here.

[cxwx]

The IT guy says Susan B Anthony lead to the downfall of the western world and refers to trans folks as "it"

[cxwx]

"That Olympics ceremony was a demonic presentation! They were mocking the last supper while promoting trans and Muslims! All my Wi-Fi routers are going to make me retarded like Joe Biden. I'm a retired nurse by the way."

[Eight Bit Alien]

This may be a regional thing, but I know a lot of nurses and every single one of them is superstitious. Like 19th century sailor unwilling to break nautical taboos superstitious, fully living in a world of magic and vindictive spirits.

Usually it's just astrology and ghosts stuff, but I've heard a bit of the celebrity/occult mythology as well. Those ceremonies and awards shows really set certain people off, and i think it's because they're designed to... stuff like that Olympics thing is very clearly a concious exploitation of outrage culture (in my opinion)

[spacehamster]

Yeah, I've noticed this thing with nurses being really into dumb esoteric shit (and anti-vaxx conspiracies) as well. Maybe Kevin can explain. It's really weird.

[THE KILL]

Nurses and especially midwives, in my experience. My sister's a nurse, but compared to some of her colleagues she's rather harmless.

[godofdeadlydeath]

"Say what you will about Putin, but at least Trump has a business-like relationship with him and can keep him in line. Harris can't do that."

[Geeheeb]

Yes I have met some superstitious RNs but it’s probably like an outspoken extreme minority. We are all superstitious about saying the a-word out loud though.

Any more a lot of them are quiet about work because no I don’t want to look at that rash or wound or whatever I’m not on the clock

[featherboa]

anus?

[THE KILL]

"Say what you will about Putin, but at least Trump has a business-like relationship with him and can keep him in line. Harris can't do that."

This is probably what annoys me most about the rise of the far right: the success of dumbasses like Trump tought clueless idiots that it's acceptable to spout the biggest nonsense without any shame at all. Everybody nowadays has an opinion on international politics, or medicine/ vaccines, or any other rather complex subject.

[godofdeadlydeath]

"Say what you will about Putin, but at least Trump has a business-like relationship with him and can keep him in line. Harris can't do that."

This is probably what annoys me most about the rise of the far right: the success of dumbasses like Trump tought clueless idiots that it's acceptable to spout the biggest nonsense without any shame at all. Everybody nowadays has an opinion on international politics, or medicine/ vaccines, or any other rather complex subject.

My office coworkers here are fairly conservative, I'm in suburban Mass and I'm in sales so it's a lot of "I don't give a fuck as long as I don't have to pay higher taxes" white men, so you know how that goes. They just talk shit to talk shit but none of them are actually well-informed on the issues so I don't really pay attention to it. But the kid who said the thing about Putin is like 25 and clearly knows nothing, and yesterday he was talking about how he almost became a cop before the pandemic so we're not missing much here.

[THE KILL]

I don't envy you, man

[godofdeadlydeath]

He also is very transparent about how his parents are rich and how he just works for something to do. Every week our manager releases a report of how many activities (calls/emails) are tracked in our systems. The kid had ZERO for both. I don't know how he didn't get fired immediately from that. He's still in the "new hire phase" but when I was almost 2 months in I was averaging 30 calls and 20 emails a day already.

[cxwx]

He also is very transparent about how his parents are rich and how he just works for something to do.

Unless you're name is Williams S Burroughs and you're my exterminator these type of people need to be made into dogfood ( with very few exceptions, I knew one guy who had a military stipend and didn't need to work but he was actually super sharp and did his job )

[godofdeadlydeath]

"They keep bringing up the issues with Bump Stocks and banning guns, but people driving cars or people drowning in home pools is just as dangerous and you don't see them banning cars or banning swimming." - my rich kid coworker

[cxwx]

"They keep bringing up the issues with Bump Stocks and banning guns, but people driving cars or people drowning in home pools is just as dangerous and you don't see them banning cars or banning swimming." - my rich kid coworker

When he gets fired for literally doing nothing all day but breathing oxygen is he going to blame the woke mob mind virus?

[cxwx]

Boss You're off line time is too high

Me: yeah I know, it's because of that computer problem I've been complaining about for almost a year that your company can't fix

B: Well the big wig wants you to call tech support again

Me: My productivity is always over goal as it is anyways

B: Yeah but we still want to fix it.

M: Calling tech support is going to make my productivity worse, just like trainings and meetings do.

B: Yeah we still need you to call them again

M: 20 minute later yeah they told me the same thing they did last time we spent 10 months trying to get this fixed where they want me to talk to you and refer to the local support team that doesn't exist.

B: Okay we'll figure it out

[godofdeadlydeath]

"They keep bringing up the issues with Bump Stocks and banning guns, but people driving cars or people drowning in home pools is just as dangerous and you don't see them banning cars or banning swimming." - my rich kid coworker

When he gets fired for literally doing nothing all day but breathing oxygen is he going to blame the woke mob mind virus?

About 3 weeks ago he was off for an entire week "due to illness." And now this week he's on his second straight day off. I don't even think he has enough PTO accumulated to be out this long? If he's not here tomorrow I would imagine he's getting fired.

[Geeheeb]

anus?

This was supposed to be the Q-word but it got autocorrected and I can't be arsed to proofread

[godofdeadlydeath]

"They keep bringing up the issues with Bump Stocks and banning guns, but people driving cars or people drowning in home pools is just as dangerous and you don't see them banning cars or banning swimming." - my rich kid coworker

When he gets fired for literally doing nothing all day but breathing oxygen is he going to blame the woke mob mind virus?

About 3 weeks ago he was off for an entire week "due to illness." And now this week he's on his second straight day off. I don't even think he has enough PTO accumulated to be out this long? If he's not here tomorrow I would imagine he's getting fired.

He's out again today, 4 days in a row. My coworkers and I were already calling dibs on his desk decorations if he gets fired and isn't allowed to come pick them up. He has a sweet Star Wars coffee mug that I want to steal. He 100% should be fired at this point.

[cxwx]

Sounds like rich boy got bored cosplaying as a working stiff.

[godofdeadlydeath]

He was "sick" 4 of the days last week. He was back today. He apparently didn't call out or inform our boss he was sick last week either. Just no-showed. I assume he's not submitting a time off request for it, meaning he won't get paid for those days, but it's baffling how he even still has a job.

[cxwx]

He was "sick" 4 of the days last week. He was back today. He apparently didn't call out or inform our boss he was sick last week either. Just no-showed. I assume he's not submitting a time off request for it, meaning he won't get paid for those days, but it's baffling how he even still has a job.

Maybe his brother in law is a country commissioner