Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Geeheeb wrote: Fri Dec 20, 2019 11:43 am perfect
featherboa wrote: Wed Oct 16, 2019 6:37 pm Image
i keep cracking up when i see this, nice job nov
FVBTVS wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pmfrom enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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hipster holocaust wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:28 am Holiday bonuses won't be coming until February
Replace "bonuses" with "bonus updates"
Chad wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 12:07 pm I'm not a fascist, I follow a bunch of Japanese rabbit owners on Twitter bc rabbits are cute
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Guy talking about the Tool song that uses the Fibonacci sequence.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Some weird girl asked if she could sit next to me. ( lucky for me right?) and I said “sure no problem” or what ever. The chair she sat in was completely disconnected from mine and had a table in between it so I thought it was kind of odd she would ask that as if she was imposing or something. But what ever, I just went back to my book.

Today she sits next to me and said something like “don’t worry, I won’t stare at you” (????) or something I wasn’t 100% sure of. She then proceeds to rapidly turn the pages of a magazine backwards.

I mentioned this to someone else later and they said “does she have short hair and glasses?” He knew the person I described immediately from a recent training class for exhibiting odd behavior without me even describing what they looked like so now I don’t feel like a complete asshole.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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“ Bernie sanders being a Jew that’s for socialism is like being a black that’s pro slavery.”
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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hipster holocaust wrote: Thu Feb 20, 2020 9:51 am
hipster holocaust wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:28 am Holiday bonuses won't be coming until February
Replace "bonuses" with "bonus updates"
Replace "until February" with "." :(
Chad wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 12:07 pm I'm not a fascist, I follow a bunch of Japanese rabbit owners on Twitter bc rabbits are cute
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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The next person who says “it’s the zombie apocalypse!” or pontificates about anything I’m going to kick in the fucking crotch and pour a can of botulism down their throats.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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“Someone bought this on -DATE REDACTED- is it still under the three year warranty?”
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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cxwx wrote: Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:21 pm “ Bernie sanders being a Jew that’s for socialism is like being a black that’s pro slavery.”
oof :x
The Bill wrote:Kids today with their artificially flavored kunt hands!
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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THE KILL wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 11:33 am
cxwx wrote: Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:21 pm “ Bernie sanders being a Jew that’s for socialism is like being a black that’s pro slavery.”
oof :x
He is one of these ex-California’s that think illegal immigrants ruined his life because land lords start charging higher rent at places where there’s twelve people living in one house. He also thinks there’s some legitimacy to birtherism and his wife is a minister. He once told a story of how he used to deliver pizza and the woman who answered the door offered him a blow job and he turned her down.
Last edited by cxwx on Wed May 13, 2020 3:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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cxwx wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 2:43 pm
THE KILL wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 11:33 am
cxwx wrote: Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:21 pm “ Bernie sanders being a Jew that’s for socialism is like being a black that’s pro slavery.”
oof :x
He is one of these ex-California’s that think illegal immigrants ruined his life because land lords start changing higher rent at places where there’s twelve people living in one house. He also thinks there’s some legitimacy to birtherism and his wife is a minister. He once told a story of how he used to deliver pizza and the woman who answered the door offered him a blow job and he turned her down.
Honestly I'm just grateful I don't have to deal with that sort of stupidity on a daily basis...
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Someone thought the “keep calm and carry on” graphic had something to do with alcohol because of the crown on the top of the image. When I told them it was from a British world war 2 propaganda poster someone else piped up and smugly said it was from a crown royal add. They were so completely insistent on something that could be disproven in just 5 seconds.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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THE KILL wrote: Wed May 13, 2020 2:55 am
cxwx wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 2:43 pm
THE KILL wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 11:33 am
cxwx wrote: Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:21 pm “ Bernie sanders being a Jew that’s for socialism is like being a black that’s pro slavery.”
oof :x
He is one of these ex-California’s that think illegal immigrants ruined his life because land lords start changing higher rent at places where there’s twelve people living in one house. He also thinks there’s some legitimacy to birtherism and his wife is a minister. He once told a story of how he used to deliver pizza and the woman who answered the door offered him a blow job and he turned her down.
TELL US MORE!
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Getting laid off for the third time from the same company in the last three and a half years. This time for good as they are closing up shop permanently. Maybe I can share Dwyer’s fail van.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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cxwx wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 2:43 pm
THE KILL wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 11:33 am
cxwx wrote: Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:21 pm “ Bernie sanders being a Jew that’s for socialism is like being a black that’s pro slavery.”
oof :x
He is one of these ex-California’s that think illegal immigrants ruined his life because land lords start charging higher rent at places where there’s twelve people living in one house.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supply_and_demand
Warning: this post may contain plagiarized text or language, some which may be above the poster's reading level.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cxwx »

MeatGrease wrote: Tue Jan 26, 2021 7:55 pm
cxwx wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 2:43 pm
THE KILL wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 11:33 am
cxwx wrote: Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:21 pm “ Bernie sanders being a Jew that’s for socialism is like being a black that’s pro slavery.”
oof :x
He is one of these ex-California’s that think illegal immigrants ruined his life because land lords start charging higher rent at places where there’s twelve people living in one house.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supply_and_demand
Uh huh, yeah. I know what capitalism is. That was the point. I think there’s another homeless guy somewhere for you to kick in the ribs, go get em tuff guy.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by godofdeadlydeath »

cxwx wrote: Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:21 pm “ Bernie sanders being a Jew that’s for socialism is like being a black that’s pro slavery.”
I'm going to assume this dude is white and that he did not say this statement within hearing distance of any actual black people. Am I close?
Stabbed in the eyes with a fucking caak...

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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by hipster holocaust »

cxwx wrote: Tue Jan 26, 2021 7:29 pm Getting laid off for the third time from the same company in the last three and a half years. This time for good as they are closing up shop permanently. Maybe I can share Dwyer’s fail van.
If it wasn't for my family relying on my health benefits I'd be going out of my way to get laid the fuck off. Unless you're not getting unemployment. Then that blows. But if so, go friggin bananas.
Chad wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 12:07 pm I'm not a fascist, I follow a bunch of Japanese rabbit owners on Twitter bc rabbits are cute
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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hipster holocaust wrote: Wed Jan 27, 2021 1:36 pm
cxwx wrote: Tue Jan 26, 2021 7:29 pm Getting laid off for the third time from the same company in the last three and a half years. This time for good as they are closing up shop permanently. Maybe I can share Dwyer’s fail van.
If it wasn't for my family relying on my health benefits I'd be going out of my way to get laid the fuck off. Unless you're not getting unemployment. Then that blows. But if so, go friggin bananas.
I’m sure I’ll be able to draw unemployment if I don’t get a new job right away. It’s not for a few months so at least we get ample warning. I should be able to get paid out for my massive hours of unused vacation time too. Plus I’ve been saving money not spending it on stupid shit so I don’t think I’ll be in the poor house too soon, but you never know, shit can go down hill fast. I don’t exactly want to pound the pavement looking for work in the middle of a fucking plague. If worst comes to worst I can sell my house and move to another state with lower cost of living. My monthly payment is pretty low as I’ve had the mortgage for a long while now and property value has exploded where I live.

TL;DR

My fat ass won’t starve any time soon.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Oh look, you own a house. Fuck you :(
Chad wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 12:07 pm I'm not a fascist, I follow a bunch of Japanese rabbit owners on Twitter bc rabbits are cute
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Glub »

Glad to hear things aren't as shitty for you as they could possibly be.

Hoping this turns out as painless as possible for you, for whatever little that's worth.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Necrophilic Mallard »

Asses robustness of approach.

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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Necrophilic Mallard »

cxwx wrote: If worst comes to worst I can sell my house and move to another state with lower cost of living.
Montana is pretty cheap.

But seriously, good luck. Shit sucks.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Glub »

Necrophilic Mallard wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 12:19 pm
cxwx wrote: If worst comes to worst I can sell my house and move to another state with lower cost of living.
Montana is pretty cheap.

But seriously, good luck. Shit sucks.
I'd urge caution before moving to Montana.

You've got to first ask yourself: "How diverse is my skillset?"
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Ideally, society should be organized via a warrior-priest aristocracy.

I can trace my ancestry all the way back to historic germanic tribal chieftains in fact.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Glub wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 11:09 am Glad to hear things aren't as shitty for you as they could possibly be.

Hoping this turns out as painless as possible for you, for whatever little that's worth.
Thanks man! Maybe I could take up trail fence repair courses.
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