Winter Olympics...

[krudmonk]

Apollo Ohno is living the dream

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

in 1998

[doubleblumpkin]

This thread is about to take a turn to the mean-spirited and extremely rude. Frankly, I am dreading it.

I remember the last time these teams met in the gold-medal game at the Olympics...

Oh, yeah, when the home team lost, totally hope it's a repeat. I'm just going to tell you to go fuck yourself 5,000 times with a beaver cock before this game happens. I don't want to pretend like I think U.S.A. is going to win, so get drunk and fall out of a tree you fucking hoser.

[Black Jacques]

So fucking rude...

[Comrade Slinky]

Jesus christ Slovakia the penalties...

[Gunther]

So fucking rude...

Excuse me sir, your beaver is parked illegally. If you don't move it in the next 15 minutes it will be towed and you will be fined.

[Black Jacques]

[Black Jacques]

WHOLE LOTTA CANADA NOT ALOTTA USAUSA!!

1976 Canada Cup: 4-2 Canada
1981 Canada Cup: 8-3 Canada
1984 Canada Cup: 4-4 tied
1987 Canada Cup: 3-2 Canada
1991 Canada Cup: 4-1 Canada, 4-2 Canada

1996 World Cup: 4-3 Canada, 5-2 USAUSA, 5-2 USAUSA
2004 World Cup: 2-1 Canada

1998 Olympics: 4-1 Canada
2002 Olympics: 5-2 Canada
2010 Olympics: 5-3 USAUSA

2001 World Championships: 5-4 USAUSA
2002 World Championships: 2-1 Canada
2005 World Championships: 3-1 Canada
2006 World Championships: 2-1 Canada
2007 World Championships: 6-3 Canada
2008 World Championships: 5-4 Canada

2000 World Junior Championships: 4-3 Canada
2001 World Junior Championships: 2-1 Canada
2003 World Junior Championships: 3-2 Canada
2004 World Junior Championships: 4-3 USAUSA
2006 World Junior Championships: 3-2 Canada
2007 World Junior Championships: 6-3 Canada, 2-1 Canada
2008 World Junior Championships: 4-1 Canada
2009 World Junior Championships: 7-4 Canada
2010 World Junior Championships: 5-4 Canada, 6-5 USAUSA

[caldwell.the.great]

hey guys, bbq beaver at my place starting at 1pm. ice cold american beers, american whiskey, and there will probably be some of that good american rock 'n' roll while we watch an american team win the gold medal.

[caldwell.the.great]

no tooks allowed, eh.

[Black Jacques]

Did you even watch the fucking beaver video?

[caldwell.the.great]

oh yeah. a beaver beating up on a child that can't even walk properly yet. terrifying.

[Gunther]

WHOLE LOTTA CANADA NOT ALOTTA USAUSA!!

1976 Canada Cup: 4-2 Canada
1981 Canada Cup: 8-3 Canada
1984 Canada Cup: 4-4 tied
1987 Canada Cup: 3-2 Canada
1991 Canada Cup: 4-1 Canada, 4-2 Canada

1996 World Cup: 4-3 Canada, 5-2 USAUSA, 5-2 USAUSA
2004 World Cup: 2-1 Canada

1998 Olympics: 4-1 Canada
2002 Olympics: 5-2 Canada
2010 Olympics: 5-3 USAUSA

2001 World Championships: 5-4 USAUSA
2002 World Championships: 2-1 Canada
2005 World Championships: 3-1 Canada
2006 World Championships: 2-1 Canada
2007 World Championships: 6-3 Canada
2008 World Championships: 5-4 Canada

2000 World Junior Championships: 4-3 Canada
2001 World Junior Championships: 2-1 Canada
2003 World Junior Championships: 3-2 Canada
2004 World Junior Championships: 4-3 USAUSA
2006 World Junior Championships: 3-2 Canada
2007 World Junior Championships: 6-3 Canada, 2-1 Canada
2008 World Junior Championships: 4-1 Canada
2009 World Junior Championships: 7-4 Canada
2010 World Junior Championships: 5-4 Canada, 6-5 USAUSA

2010 Ryan Suter Championships: 1-0 USAUSA

[Black Jacques]

oh yeah. a beaver beating up on a child that can't even walk properly yet. terrifying.

Not unlike the USAUSA hockey team - the noise at the end is Jacques Rogges wondering what he's done.

[caldwell.the.great]

The USA hockey team attacked a Canadian child?

[Teufel]

I hope that stupid kid got rabies.

[Black Jacques]

Here's how I see the first shift playing out:

USAUSA wins the opening faceoff, send it back into their own zone then pass it up the right boards to Dustin Brown where his stupid babyface is met by Brendan Morrow's elbow... puck comes lose and Richards skates it back into USAUSA's turf while everyone on the ice is concentrating on Dustin Brown's now upside-down face and drops it to Weber who one-times it right through Ryan Miller's head and lodges in a spectating Ohno's chest. Canada goes on to kill half the players on USAUSA and win the game 11-0.

[Black Jacques]

You just wait and see. I've watched a lot of hockey in my day.

[caldwell.the.great]

you're just jealous we have nukes. and Abe Lincoln. and fucking baseball.

[Gunther]

Nobody gives a fuck about baseball when hockey's on.

[guardianoftheblind]

You just wait and see. I drink too much.

[Gunther]

I'LL TELL YOU HOW!!!!! HOW ABOUT RYAN MILLER!!!!!!

[Black Jacques]

Took me over an hour to get a few groceries and a 40 of Crown Royal just now. This place is NUTS.

[Black Jacques]

I'LL TELL YOU HOW!!!!! HOW ABOUT RYAN MILLER!!!!!!

I'd post the same thing with Luongo, but I hate that fumigant greaseball and I have no faith in him whatsoever.

[Gunther]

Luongo's a good goalie. I just think it's retarded how Brodeur was thrown under the bus in a preliminary game. Best goalie ever? FUCK YOU, FATTY.

[krudmonk]

Took me over an hour to get a few groceries and a 40 of Crown Royal just now. This place is NUTS.

That's what happens when your dumb fucking prairie village has only one store.