Unstoppable Post Like Amelia thread

[Friendly Goatus]

I was in a hurry and had to piss so I ran to the terlit and got going. I started to get impatient so I squeezed it out quicker then shoved my dong back in my pants.

ONLY I WASN'T DONE PEEING


I watched my mom molest my dog when I was a kid so that's why I'm lazy.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

I don't even LIKE dogs!

Hey, I'm going to put on a bra and go buy a 40 at the minit man market, be back soon...

[Friendly Goatus]

I have SO MUCH POTENTIAL!

[neckbeard]

i

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

when...was a kid...grandma always said to 'worry bout yourself'...guess...grandma didn't count on..postin on the reeelapse board...

[Cryptoplasty]

when...was a kid...grandma always said to 'worry bout yourself'...guess...grandma didn't count on..postin on the reeelapse board...

[Friendly Goatus]

I'm totally selfish and use awkwardness to cover it up!

[Deleted Account]

when...was a kid...grandma always said to 'worry bout yourself'...guess...grandma didn't count on..postin on the reeelapse board...

You're not following the instructions. This doesn't sound very Amelia.

[Friendly Goatus]

Man, I'm not doing very well. Only the first one was good. I need to brainstorm.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

when...was a kid...grandma always said to 'worry bout yourself'...guess...grandma didn't count on..postin on the reeelapse board...

Didn't you spend your developmental years on this board? Which makes all your oversharing, what, compulsory?

[riley-o]

i do drugs and fuck indiscriminately i me me i my me i my take take take take

[Deleted Account]

Man, I'm not doing very well. Only the first one was good. I need to brainstorm.

Think: Cats. Twinks. Tampons. Weed. Now go with that.

[Friendly Goatus]

Man, I'm not doing very well. Only the first one was good. I need to brainstorm.

Think: Cats. Twinks. Tampons. Weed. Now go with that.

My cat is suffering from gender confusion! I know all about it so I can read the signs. I shoved a tampon in his ass so he'd maybe feel a little more feminine. I don't think he was ready to be a woman yet, because he freaked out so I blew some smoke in his face to calm him down... now he's lazily stretching out on the lawn while getting drilled by some of Portland's world famous homo cats.

My little baby is all growed up!


My mom made me eat her panties when I was eight because I was being too loud. That's why I can't hold down a job.

[Cryptoplasty]

i'm locking this thread because i can't handle the criticism brought onto myself

i am smarter than you because you just don't get me

i pretend my actions do not effect others because i am one of the most selfish people alive

i pretend im crazy to collect social security and spend it all on booze, weed, tattoos, and cat food

i don't like being told what to do and that's why i can't keep a job

i am the most insecure person alive

i pretend i have a penis all the time because im so wacky and not a girl

i am an attention vegan

[Cryptoplasty]

My mom made me eat her panties when I was eight because I was being too loud. That's why I can't hold down a job.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

i'm still at the same place ive worked for over a year and a half dudes, i thought i quit or something but i guess not!

everything else is spot on, though.

[Cryptoplasty]

everything else is spot on, though.

i pretend i don't care about the truth

[death by snoo snoo]

My bandanna smells like menopause and my cat's a whore. adjectives^2. I'm going to go take a melatonin and then smoke weed and lay on my bed that's covered in mildewed laundry.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

A
Gyno-secretions and excretory waste
Uneasy truce with female posters
Basement Lyfestyle
Odor
Inappropriate and shocking behavior
Rare and calculated appeals for pity
Predatory sexual behavior toward nice guys enacting reverse-gender deflowering empowerment bullshit

B
Ensnaring male posters in vago-bog at MDF
Metal justification and occasional reminder that I listen to music
Feigned hurt at personal attacks
Real hurt at personal attacks
Drug stories
Acting like some wise sage-hag with life experience exceeding my years
Random insertion




A little from column A and a little from column B.

[Bored, Esq.]

Ouch.

[Cryptoplasty]

Gyno-secretions and excretory waste
Uneasy truce with female posters
Basement Lyfestyle
Odor
Inappropriate and shocking behavior
Rare and calculated appeals for pity
Predatory sexual behavior toward nice guys enacting reverse-gender deflowering empowerment bullshit

Ensnaring male posters in vago-bog at MDF
Metal justification and occasional reminder that I listen to music
Feigned hurt at personal attacks
Real hurt at personal attacks
Drug stories
Acting like some wise sage-hag with life experience exceeding my years
Random insertion

Someone get some guitar and drum tracks and make a song out of this.

Metal justification and occasional reminder that I listen to music

i only listen to music when im drunk which is all the time except that one time i went like a month without drinking and ran around and told everyone with my arms flailing around.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

Ouch.

Too much?

I mean, we all have our A/B columns. I'm just feeling very mean lately.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

hahaha, so whaaaat? a lot of people are shitbags in private. keeping your innocence to yourself isn't a bad thing, really. you say selfishness, i say preservation of an untainted vision. i'm overly sensitive, and then...?

if the majority of people really want me to stop posting, i'll ask kevin to delete my account. it really isn't that big of a deal. being forced to spend time elsewhere wouldn't be the worst thing to happen to me, eh?

[Bored, Esq.]

Ouch.

Too much?

No.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

cryptoplasty, i'm more involved with music when sober, generally.

OH WELL!

goatus, make this a poll. 50 votes by tomorrow and i'm gone!