post your childhood naiveties about sex

[Green Chamber]

Just remembered one. I thought a blowjob was when you stuck your dick in a penis pump and made it bigger.

[krudmonk]

I have to say that I never got the same weird feelings about breasts as I did about bush and butt. Cinemax and HBO are to blame for me being desensitized so young. Boob-sightings were more a time to giggle than cross my legs and contemplate the odd sensation down there.

[T-1000]

what an awesome thread. The only two misconceptions I had were that well the vagina was more on the lower parts of the belly (seems to be common, even my dad told me that he had that misconception when he hit puberty) and when I started checking out that whole masturbating thing I was kind freaked out in the beginning cause I thought - why is that shit more transparent and not white. It was of course normal and my load just wasn´t as impressively massive as it is today(massive I tell you). oh and also - did anybody else have all kinds of sex dreams when he actually well didn´t know exactly how it went down and where to find the vage? like in elementary.

Something else on this subject. I find it sometimes shocking how uneducated others at my age(early twenties)are about this subject. Especially when it comes to the female primary sex organs as well as birth control. For example that retarded bullshit about a chicks being loose down there when she has a lot of sex. I once had a ridiculous discussion with friends a few years back. most of them probably still virgins due to being fucking insane weirdos haha - and for some reason we ended up on wikipedia about some subject cause I wanted to prove them wrong and they somehow said that the vagina on wiki must be a little girls vagina or some shit cause there was no pubic hair and it was "too small" hahaha. god I hate those fags.

[Mr. Budd]

I use to think a woman's vagina was just below her belly button and not between her legs.

I wish that were true. My grandma wanted to find an easy way to remove ear-hair so she asked the Dr. and he said use a little Nair type hair remover. She went to the drug store and the clerk showed her the product and said that she should avoid shaving her legs for a few days after use. She told him it wasn't for that so he said - oh - well avoid shaving your armpits then. She said, wrong again. So he winked at her and told her to stay off her bike for a few days.

[Mr. Budd]

Hahahaha!

I wonder if I could use that same method to remove nose hair. I'm sick of pulling out nose hairs with tweezers.

I would not suggest riding a bike with your nose - but there might be a free hoodie involved if you point those efforts in a fruitful direction.

[Eight Foot Manchild]

I once had a sleepover where the topic of condoms came up, and words were exchanged as to what exactly they were and what their purpose was. It was a heated discussion, rife with disagreements. I distinctly remember one kid saying "No, man, you put em on to clean that red stuff off your dick". That stuck with me. I didn't quite understand what he meant - in retrospect, he was probably misunderstanding something he heard about STD prevention - but I pictured a dick that was swollen and crusty, and that somehow putting a condom on would clean it off. For long afterward, if I came across a condom on the sidewalk, I'd crouch down, examining it closely, looking for the "red stuff".

I also remember a period where the favorite insult among my peers was to tell each other to "go suck your mama's dick", then someone else would say "yeah, if your mama has a dick". You know, like it would be insulting if she didn't. I guess. It made sense at the time. Sort of.

[takeasneededforpain]

Hahahaha!

I wonder if I could use that same method to remove nose hair. I'm sick of pulling out nose hairs with tweezers.

You're better off with tweezers. Would you put Drano on a mucus membrane?

Nair's active ingredient is the same as Drano, Easy Off Oven Cleaner, etc.

(that would be sodium hydroxide... degreaser and drain cleaner extraordinaire.)

[det-riot]

I found my mom's maxi pads and read the instructions. It showed the person (woman) putting them in the crotch of her underwear. I thought they were to stop pee dribbles and skid marks. I started putting them in my underwear. Somewhere deeper inside me I thought it was wrong, but I wasn't sure why. I hid the used ones in my desk, but I slipped up and one made it into the laundry and my dad had to explain they were for the ladies.

[andy vomit]

i too thought the vagina was below the stomach and not between the legs. i thought that because an erection sticks outward, the guy would just walk up and put it in, standing face to face with the woman. and, of course, thrusting never occurred to me; i thought you just put it in and the lady got pregnant. made sense at the time.

when i was about 8 or 9, my friend told me how sometimes he would blow on his dick because "that's what a blowjob feels like." ever the adventurous child, i tried it as soon as i got home. all it did was make me feel silly.

[How Are Mortiis Goatse?!]

I thought both girls and boys had penises when I was a wee lad. I knew that girls sat down to pee, so I assumed theirs curved backwards between the legs and thus sitting and peeing made more sense for them. A little later when I learned they didn't have dicks, I, like so many others apparently, thought the vagina was located on the lower abdomen.

[Syringe in Mouth]

top-notch thread

I too had the misconception that guys and girls had the same genitalia/parts right around kindergarten age. I'd ask why girls got separate bathrooms than guys, because "Mom & Dad use the same one".

No proper sex-ed class, though we got an abundance of D.A.R.E. programs...that's Jersey for you. Had "the talk" from my folks which lasted 5 minutes and including lots of pausing and awkward throat clearing.

"Blowjob" first hearing it, I thought involved special machinery of some sort....

"Going down/went down on" I thought just meant lying down with or falling down with them.

[kelly]

I never thought about any of this until 5th grade sex ed, which was a week long. I didn't even know we were going to have sex ed class either, just one day went to school and they told us all to go to a different class room. I remember thinking how we were all eventually going to turn into adults and have to deal with all this stuff and then some girl, during that week, got her first period and everyone found out right away because oh my god how exciting. I just remember standing there like "fuck it's happening"

[krudmonk]

sucks to be that girl

[Introvert]

I found my mom's maxi pads and read the instructions. It showed the person (woman) putting them in the crotch of her underwear. I thought they were to stop pee dribbles and skid marks. I started putting them in my underwear. Somewhere deeper inside me I thought it was wrong, but I wasn't sure why. I hid the used ones in my desk, but I slipped up and one made it into the laundry and my dad had to explain they were for the ladies.

I was kind of the same except I somehow knew (probably from TV commercials) that they were only for women. I figured that because they didn't have weiners they couldn't hold their pee as well so they needed something to stop the leaks.

I think a friend told me that rubbing his weiner when it got hard felt good so of course I had to try it out the first chance I had. I didn't pay attention close enough to what came out. I just thought it was pee. So the next time I decided to go rub one out I went to the bathroom first to make sure it was empty. Of course I was a bit surprised when something came out again.

It wasn't until my dad had the talk with me (took me to the local pizza/arcade) that I realized what was happening in the two scenarios above. I also learned a lot of neat new words from the book he gave me and the next week at school I started calling everyone 'scrotum head'.

[Pop1287]

I remember at a very early age being a little confused about how men had sex with other men. It didn't occur to me until a little later that anal sex was even a possibility...then it made sense. It still seemed utterly stupid to me.

[andy vomit]

I also learned a lot of neat new words from the book he gave me and the next week at school I started calling everyone 'scrotum head'.

some kid in my second grade class got "the talk" earlier than the rest of us, so he knew all the anatomically correct terms, and of course, told everyone all about them. vagina face, penis head, etc. became commonplace insults for us. eventually my friend's mom overheard him calling his sister an anusbutt or something, and we all got ratted out to our parents. that's when i got "the talk." i don't remember much, i just remember both my parents were there and i was crying because i didn't want to talk to my parents about what a vagina was. the worst part was they asked me "do you know what ___ is? do you know what ____ does?"

[BlackRadish]

My mom came to give me 'the talk' when I was 16. I was all and asked her if she thought maybe this was a little late in the game to be having 'the talk'. I then asked her to leave my room. (Maybe she could have elaborated when I was 11 and wasn't allowed to go spend the night at my best friends house even though I spent most of my waking hours at his house, or maybe when the periods started, or maybe before I got a computer with the internet in my room.) If I was a dumber child I could have easily been abused/abducted/killed.

[Toxicarius]

My first orgasm shocked the hell out of me... I thought I broke my dick. It was some time before I dared play with it again....

[DanBehavingBadly]

I found my mom's maxi pads and read the instructions. It showed the person (woman) putting them in the crotch of her underwear. I thought they were to stop pee dribbles and skid marks. I started putting them in my underwear. Somewhere deeper inside me I thought it was wrong, but I wasn't sure why. I hid the used ones in my desk, but I slipped up and one made it into the laundry and my dad had to explain they were for the ladies.

I was kind of the same except I somehow knew (probably from TV commercials) that they were only for women. I figured that because they didn't have weiners they couldn't hold their pee as well so they needed something to stop the leaks.

w3rd...I thought the same thing. I figured that since girls didn't have hogs, they couldn't piss anywhere and everywhere like the guys could, so the pads and/or tampons were for piss accidents.

[Mari_Mar]

It's funny, but I was fully prepared for my first orgasm due to sex-ed classes.

I think I may have been a bit of a later bloomer with it since I couldn't figure out how to masturbate, plus being taught that doing such things would send me to Hell.

Anyway, when I came the first time (I was 13) it didn't surprise when goop shot out of it. What did surprise me was the fantasy that triggered the orgasm. Two men kidnapped me, coated me in some "magical" sav, mummified me, and buried me in the ground. The mummification was very articulate and there were breathing and feeding tubes involved. Two weeks later, they dug me up, and when I emerged from my "cocoon" I was a woman...

I had totally repressed that dream for years, until I started therapy in my early 30s.

[Dr Yail Bloor]

We were 11 or 12 for our sex ed classes, later that day a couple of the girls wanked off some of the boys out of curiosity...good times

[Foot Foot]

AIDs

[Mari_Mar]

We were 11 or 12 for our sex ed classes, later that day a couple of the girls wanked off some of the boys out of curiosity...good times

"Some of the boys" makes it sound like you got left out of the "good times..."

[Dr Yail Bloor]

We were 11 or 12 for our sex ed classes, later that day a couple of the girls wanked off some of the boys out of curiosity...good times

"Some of the boys" makes it sound like you got left out of the "good times..."

I didnt go to youth club that night! My loss I guess, stilll they started early round our way.

[Eight Bit Failien]

I'm really trying to contribute here, and I cannot. When I was 4 and in the tub with my sister (2), I visually compared our genitals and noticed the resemblance between her clit and my cockhead. I decided that she must have basically the same parts as me, but they were kept stuffed inside her. Later I found out my intuition was completely correct.

I guess there was a time that I believed a woman could get pregnant if sperm went in her a couple of days after ovulation... those were the days!