Uncle Ross's hippie science apothecary [ft. neckbeard travis]

[Necrometer]

I wanted to share my pro-tips on hygiene and shit - some of these are medically sound; some are woo - I report / you decide. yinz are also welcome to share your wisdom, of course! all/any mentions of gold bond'd ballz will result in a permaban

HUSK saved my life. I've posted about this before (pasting below), and many of you are already on the psyllium train... it's the best!

if you find that you have to wipe your ass too many times and too often, eat like 5+ grams of psyllium husk every morning* and it will get your shit together, so to speak. for everyone who's like "oh just eat more fiber bro" NOPE more fiber is not the secret - eating tons of fruits/veggies can make your poo all pasty and sad, too. psyllium husk is a magical type of fiber that fixes your crap. *downside is that the best way to do this is via a shake, so if you don't eat those in the morning I may not be able to help you

to add a bit more science - the husk is magic because it has the right balance of soluble & insoluble fiber. the latter is easy to come by (salads etc) but the soluble fiber is rare & more valuable. it's also abundant in apples (doctor bane ymmv) and oatmeal, but those aren't zero-calorie like the husk is

CRYSTAL DEODORANT is another godsend. if you have ever felt frustration with typical antiperspirant, you must try the crystal. it basically salts the earth (of your pits), making it so no microbes can grow. it works for more than a day, and REALLY works to keep you from stinking. I feel like people put it on their feet? don't quote me. WARNING: it doesn't stop you from sweating. I can't help you there. maybe lose some weight.

BROMELAIN is the stuff in pineapple that makes your jizz taste less bad. I think this works for pre-cum and lady juice, too (will not override BV, though). you can buy bromelain pills and it has the same impact. zero calorie! the jizzmaxxing holy grail is real, too, fyi

ORAL hygiene stuff is mostly non-hippie, but probably worth sharing? this listerine/reach textured floss is the best, even though it's super expensive. I love my sonicare, and whether I'm using it or a regular toothbrush, I have switched to super gentle/soft bristles - be kind to your gums! I'll also endorse the copper, U-shaped tongue scrapers.

that might be it for now... stay hydrated and try and get some sleep

[Necrometer]

SOAP doesn’t really need to cover your whole body when you bathe… just wash the parts that can get stinky or greasy

[featherboa]

Get bidet attachment. $30 bux online. Best life upgrade i've had in the last ~5 years.

[FVBTVS]

doctor uncle's ross and travis, is there a hippie pill i can take that will give the ladies im attracted to slightly less brain damage

[the awesome Assassin]

SOAP doesn’t really need to cover your whole body when you bathe… just wash the parts that can get stinky or greasy

Fake kaka gets a ban butt you allow this...

[Necrometer]

I'm not saying anyone should listen to me over their primary care physician

doctor uncle's ross and travis, is there a hippie pill i can take that will give the ladies im attracted to slightly less brain damage

just continue whittling away at your own mental prowess and one day there will be harmony

[Geeheeb]

Get bidet attachment. $30 bux online. Best life upgrade i've had in the last ~5 years.

x1,000,000

[Geeheeb]

heart disease is still the #1 killer in the US so go vegan

[Eight Bit Alien]

Im gay and my dick fell off

[featherboa]

get a bidet

[Necrometer]

somebody post something about coconut oil

[Glub]

I'm going to second the psyllium husk recommendation. Get the straight unflavored husk; it has (if I'm recalling correctly) 4 times the fiber of metamucil. Some might find the taste(none)/texture (goo) disagreeable. I've mixed two tablespoons in 8 ounces of pulpy orange juice in the past.

If you're constantly doing Absolute Paintjobs, one or two of these per day will have you clean wiping.

[FVBTVS]

got real trashed the other night for the first time in maybe years

hang over cures that prevent sucidal ideation

[ghost boner]

7 up and menudo!

[FVBTVS]

7 up and menudo!

[Eight Bit Alien]

heart disease is still the #1 killer in the US so go vegan

[Geeheeb]

heart disease is still the #1 killer in the US so go vegan

[Eight Bit Alien]

I love you

[ghost boner]

7 up and menudo!

well its not going to just jetkick your fuel rocket into speedtown, but they help. ive read that 7 up is the best hangover cure a few times and always heard from mexicans the wonders of menudo. its pretty rare that i get hungover (i drink a SHIT TON of water every day) but when i do a 7 up always helps. i usually cant eat but ive tried menudo in the past and it works ok. my go tos? wake up, immediately vomit and go back to sleep but thats not exactly ideal for everyone

[Eight Bit Alien]

I barely drink anymore, and it's not because I care about myself or anything stupid like that - I get hungover so bad that I actually fear it. Water can chase away the worst of it (I also pound gallons of water every day) but that old 'go back to sleep' trick is over for me. If I have even a modest amount of booze, I wake up after about 4 hours... and that's it, I cannot go back to sleep no matter what. Started around the time I was 26 or so. That plus, for some reason, hangovers for me now include at least 24 hours of constant brutal flatulence which fucking sucks if you have anything social to do whatsoever.

I used to actually enjoy hangover days because I'd just lay there and watch old bullshit movies and sleep for 12 hours. Once that shit gets taken off the table, the entire experience changes. After years and years of drinking so seldom, my tolerance has bottomed out as well - which sucks, I have to kinda monitor how much I'm drinking on a good night out, otherwise I'll get too drunk and fuck up the night for myself. It all really sucks and I wish I could have booze back, I miss it.

[ghost boner]

and thats why i drink every day

[FVBTVS]

yeah i'm with you james. the emotional toll for me is even worse than the physical and i fucking dread it so much i'd rather not even bother anymore

i miss booze time and i've never been able to do the hair of the dog thing so its pretty much over

[The Bill]

If you can eat something carb heavy like bread or pasta before bed it will help in the morning. Other than that lots o’ water or milk, and eggs the next day. Also, Advil. Does 7-Up have caffeine? If so, it’s no damn good for hangovers. I actually rarely get hungover in the traditional sense anymore. What it does now is make me tired and unproductive for 2 or 3 days in a row. No headache or nausea or that stuff, though.

[Necrometer]

I've only been really wasted a few times, and none of those times was I so drunk that I forgot/failed to chug water before I slept, so I've never had a hangover

STAY HYDRATED

[featherboa]

People saying drink some water or eat some french fries don't know what it's like.