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Bored, Esq. wrote:
No, I know what you're saying. I'm being completely honest. I'm just different. RE: having "emotional" issues, it's more like "brain issues." I also don't believe in a universal human nature or extrapolating from one's personal understanding and then projecting it outwards as a reified standard. I do believe in people not understanding/being able to express their own emotions or personalities because of the generalization of language, however. There's no use in trying to analyze me, though...believe me, if you met me you would understand immediately.

Brain issues, as in, you believe they're chemical or neurological or something?

I believe there are conditions inherent in our existence that lead to issues. I also believe in the difficulties due to language and communication, but I place them as more of a symptom of higher more fundamental problems. And finally I do believe in exceptions. Maybe you're one, sure. I'd say a better assumption would be that you need to feel unique. I do this too.

Bored, Esq. wrote: I have no fear of death whatsoever. I look forward to it, in fact. That doesn't mean I "want to die" or anything like that, I'll enjoy my life. I'm afraid of not doing everything I want to do, if anything. But that would be my fault and it would be my only real disappointment if I'm not completely stupid about the rest of my life. :) But even that...would end with death and I would be peaceful. The dissolution of the ego will come as a great relief to me and I imagine death will be like going to sleep, only I will never wake up. That's a very happy thought.

So maybe you don't fear death itself, but you must realize that it will, whenever it happens, prevent you from accomplishing whatever you were going to later.

It's rational to fear death's permanence, even if you don't believe you fear its inevitability.

Mari_Mar wrote:

Lord Beguile wrote:I can't because I'm a realist and know I won't even get close. I look forward to dying, not aging.

Really? Because this is the scariest part to me. Dying, not being dead. Simply because there are so many excruciating ways of getting there, and I'm expecting the worst.

Poll any group and typically the overwhelming majority cite the "not being alive any longer" part of death as more concerning than the process of dying part. Interesting that you feel this way. Yeah, I don't want to die in pain either, don't get me wrong, but if there truly is no existence after death, then why fear a painful death, when you will not be able to remember it? Trauma can be said to be traumatic because of our reflection of it.

Haarr, I remember when I was 21 maybe when the full realization of death hit me (after years of thinking I was already there and cool with it) and I had trouble sleeping and thinking for a month or two. That's all sorted out, so I just work towards what I want to do, I don't care about getting old or dying, all the people that do cool shit are old and death happens.

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote:Maybe you're one, sure. I'd say a better assumption would be that you need to feel unique. I do this too.

Remember what I told you about projecting your narcissism onto other people? You're seeing vanity where there isn't any. Like I said, meet me in IRL and talk to me, then you can choose to embarrass yourself on a message board if you wish. I don't blame you, of course. You're simply operating without facts.

Nowhere here did I say I'm special or unique. I'm simply different from the model of fear you're presenting. I have met other people like me...I'm not alone and, when I say I don't fear death, dying, most things, whatever, I'm not bragging or trying to criticize anyone else. It's just simply...there. I hope you understand. There's really no point in talking about it.

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote:Poll any group and typically the overwhelming majority cite the "not being alive any longer" part of death as more concerning than the process of dying part. Interesting that you feel this way. Yeah, I don't want to die in pain either, don't get me wrong, but if there truly is no existence after death, then why fear a painful death, when you will not be able to remember it? Trauma can be said to be traumatic because of our reflection of it.

Certainly, but then why appreciate the here and now, since at some point I'll no longer posses the consciousness to remember it. That doesn't work for me, since I can't predict when I'm going to die. In fact, I imagine that even in the face of certain death, being bludgeoned and slowly dismembered I would still be trying to think of a way of getting out of that situation and preserving my life.

All I know is that I don't like pain while I'm feeling it, and I don't want to go through that situation, whether I'll remember it, or not.

Hypnagogia wrote: So maybe you don't fear death itself, but you must realize that it will, whenever it happens, prevent you from accomplishing whatever you were going to later.

I take it for granted that when it comes time to die I'll feel good about the life I've lived. What's the point of regret, really? Even if I do feel regret I'll soon be dead and it won't exist anymore. Not much to worry about.

zzzzzzzz wrote:Haarr, I remember when I was 21 maybe when the full realization of death hit me (after years of thinking I was already there and cool with it) and I had trouble sleeping and thinking for a month or two. That's all sorted out, so I just work towards what I want to do, I don't care about getting old or dying, all the people that do cool shit are old and death happens.

All it would take for your self-deception to come crashing around your feet is for another close call to happen, a friend dying, etc. Seriously. Life comes in stages. You'll hit the next one and have more sleepless nights until you find ways to calm yourself. All the people who do cool shit are old? Are you serious? What experiences do you have with the elderly? Fucking christ man. Maybe I'm bitter running all these elderly mobilehome parks but goddamn, the majority of old people are slow and fearful.

Bored, Esq. wrote:There's really no point in talking about it.

Then why did you make a thread about it? We could reduce anything and everything to being futile...

Bored, Esq. wrote: I'm already planning a nice array of wool suits

I don't know man, sooo itchy sometimes...

the older i get the more accepting of the world and at peace with society i become. so, sure. father time, bring it on.

Mari_Mar wrote:

Bored, Esq. wrote:There's really no point in talking about it.

Then why did you make a thread about it? We could reduce anything and everything to being futile...

That was a reply to what Matt said to me. Read it again. I'm not talking about the thread's theme, which has never been on target anyway. C'mon, Mari.

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote:

zzzzzzzz wrote:Haarr, I remember when I was 21 maybe when the full realization of death hit me (after years of thinking I was already there and cool with it) and I had trouble sleeping and thinking for a month or two. That's all sorted out, so I just work towards what I want to do, I don't care about getting old or dying, all the people that do cool shit are old and death happens.

All it would take for your self-deception to come crashing around your feet is for another close call to happen, a friend dying, etc. Seriously. Life comes in stages. You'll hit the next one and have more sleepless nights until you find ways to calm yourself. All the people who do cool shit are old? Are you serious? What experiences do you have with the elderly? Fucking christ man. Maybe I'm bitter running all these elderly mobilehome parks but goddamn, the majority of old people are slow and fearful.

Do you ever have an honest moment, Matt?

Bored, Esq. wrote:

Mari_Mar wrote:

Bored, Esq. wrote:There's really no point in talking about it.

Then why did you make a thread about it? We could reduce anything and everything to being futile...

That was a reply to what Matt said to me. Read it again. I'm not talking about the thread's theme, which has never been on target anyway. C'mon, Mari.

I dunno Umesh... It reads like you're backing out from an honest discussion with Matt to me.

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote: then why fear a painful death, when you will not be able to remember it?

Doesn't the brain carry on activity for a few minutes after death? I really don't know the technical aspects of the process of your brain dying but for me thats where reality lies. From what I've heard chemicals are released and you pretty much enter into a hallucination/dream. You lose all sense of time when in a dream. A few seconds can feel like hours, days, months, years etc. If the last thing you feel is pain, then I would imagine your pain sensors would be screaming inside your head and carry over into your death and thats pretty much the only real hell that I can believe in. I would not want an undefined period of unspeakable pain that I could never wake up from, even if it would only last for a few minutes in real time.

Glass Asshole wrote:

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote: then why fear a painful death, when you will not be able to remember it?

Doesn't the brain carry on activity for a few minutes after death? I really don't know the technical aspects of the process of your brain dying but for me thats where reality lies. From what I've heard chemicals are released and you pretty much enter into a hallucination/dream. You lose all sense of time when in a dream. A few seconds can feel like hours, days, months, years etc. If the last thing you feel is pain, then I would imagine your pain sensors would be screaming inside your head and carry over into your death and thats pretty much the only real hell that I can believe in.

I'm not going to sleep well tonight...

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote:

zzzzzzzz wrote:Haarr, I remember when I was 21 maybe when the full realization of death hit me (after years of thinking I was already there and cool with it) and I had trouble sleeping and thinking for a month or two. That's all sorted out, so I just work towards what I want to do, I don't care about getting old or dying, all the people that do cool shit are old and death happens.

All it would take for your self-deception to come crashing around your feet is for another close call to happen, a friend dying, etc. Seriously. Life comes in stages. You'll hit the next one and have more sleepless nights until you find ways to calm yourself. All the people who do cool shit are old? Are you serious? What experiences do you have with the elderly? Fucking christ man. Maybe I'm bitter running all these elderly mobilehome parks but goddamn, the majority of old people are slow and fearful.

I've had two friends die last year, one blew his brains out at the ripe age of 22. I've had a close call at the hospital with my heart almost exploding out of my chest last year from stress. I seriously feel fine about it at this moment, maybe the dread will come back but right now it doesn't seem like it will. Old people: I meant shit like film and music, people doing things I'm interested in, I guess it seems like I'm mostly typing this shit to myself sometimes but thats what I meant.

Mari_Mar wrote:

Glass Asshole wrote:

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote: then why fear a painful death, when you will not be able to remember it?

Doesn't the brain carry on activity for a few minutes after death? I really don't know the technical aspects of the process of your brain dying but for me thats where reality lies. From what I've heard chemicals are released and you pretty much enter into a hallucination/dream. You lose all sense of time when in a dream. A few seconds can feel like hours, days, months, years etc. If the last thing you feel is pain, then I would imagine your pain sensors would be screaming inside your head and carry over into your death and thats pretty much the only real hell that I can believe in.

I'm not going to sleep well tonight...

yeah this is some extremely fucked up shit

zzzzzzzz wrote: I seriously feel fine about it at this moment, maybe the dread will come back but right now it doesn't seem like it will.

At least make it 'til MDF! You've been trying so hard to find a room...

Bored, your target market for this new trend would logically be all the conservative republican groups that exist on college campuses across the US. They have the politics and the dress code down to a tee. David Spade from PCU university looking motherfuckers.

Glass Asshole wrote:

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote: then why fear a painful death, when you will not be able to remember it?

Doesn't the brain carry on activity for a few minutes after death? I really don't know the technical aspects of the process of your brain dying but for me thats where reality lies. From what I've heard chemicals are released and you pretty much enter into a hallucination/dream. You lose all sense of time when in a dream. A few seconds can feel like hours, days, months, years etc. If the last thing you feel is pain, then I would imagine your pain sensors would be screaming inside your head and carry over into your death and thats pretty much the only real hell that I can believe in. I would not want an undefined period of unspeakable pain that I could never wake up from, even if it would only last for a few minutes in real time.

That's that DMT kicking in, I knew a dude that was clinically dead then revived after being hit by a car, he said while dead he spent a month in downtown Memphis and even rode on a jet with a pimp in a purple suit. He talked about how the city was mostly deserted and he would go sit in an apartment and watch the sun set every night.

Glass Asshole wrote:Bored, your target market for this new trend would logically be all the conservative republican groups that exist on college campuses across the US. They have the politics and the dress code down to a tee. David Spade from PCU university looking motherfuckers.

Yes...they have the dress code down, I'll agree, but will their hearts be in it? Will they be able to master the ironic detachment necessary? I have my doubts. Will they have to wear a necktie on their colostomy bags?

Bored, Esq. wrote:

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote:

zzzzzzzz wrote:Haarr, I remember when I was 21 maybe when the full realization of death hit me (after years of thinking I was already there and cool with it) and I had trouble sleeping and thinking for a month or two. That's all sorted out, so I just work towards what I want to do, I don't care about getting old or dying, all the people that do cool shit are old and death happens.

All it would take for your self-deception to come crashing around your feet is for another close call to happen, a friend dying, etc. Seriously. Life comes in stages. You'll hit the next one and have more sleepless nights until you find ways to calm yourself. All the people who do cool shit are old? Are you serious? What experiences do you have with the elderly? Fucking christ man. Maybe I'm bitter running all these elderly mobilehome parks but goddamn, the majority of old people are slow and fearful.

Do you ever have an honest moment, Matt?

Oh, let’s just drop it, yeah, hahaha, isn’t this your thread? For a guy so completely unique and set apart from the human race, you sure do make a lot of posts about the big topics, death and suicide and such, as many as I probably answer. You’re constantly provoking reaction, throwing yourself goodbye parties, reinventing yourself as unique, goading and rewarding and stalking, and you’re going to suggest that if I knew you IRL…hahaha, IRL, did you just fucking type that?! that all would be revealed and I would extend my tongue to catch the special fucking snowflake that you are?!

You talk of honest moments? Okay, here’s the honest moment, IRL: we all get together and you’re the creepy one in the corner leering at people and blaming your “brain problems.” Hahaha, give me a break, Umesh. I may have my flaws, admittedly, but we have to capitalize the word Flawed when referring to you. My narcissism? No worse than yours, man. It’s sort of funny. Do you not find it funny? Admit it, it’s kind of funny.

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote:

Bored, Esq. wrote:

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote:

zzzzzzzz wrote:Haarr, I remember when I was 21 maybe when the full realization of death hit me (after years of thinking I was already there and cool with it) and I had trouble sleeping and thinking for a month or two. That's all sorted out, so I just work towards what I want to do, I don't care about getting old or dying, all the people that do cool shit are old and death happens.

All it would take for your self-deception to come crashing around your feet is for another close call to happen, a friend dying, etc. Seriously. Life comes in stages. You'll hit the next one and have more sleepless nights until you find ways to calm yourself. All the people who do cool shit are old? Are you serious? What experiences do you have with the elderly? Fucking christ man. Maybe I'm bitter running all these elderly mobilehome parks but goddamn, the majority of old people are slow and fearful.

Do you ever have an honest moment, Matt?

Oh, let’s just drop it, yeah, hahaha, isn’t this your thread? For a guy so completely unique and set apart from the human race, you sure do make a lot of posts about the big topics, death and suicide and such, as many as I probably answer. You’re constantly provoking reaction, throwing yourself goodbye parties, reinventing yourself as unique, goading and rewarding and stalking, and you’re going to suggest that if I knew you IRL…hahaha, IRL, did you just fucking type that?! that all would be revealed and I would extend my tongue to catch the special fucking snowflake that you are?!

You talk of honest moments? Okay, here’s the honest moment, IRL: we all get together and you’re the creepy one in the corner leering at people and blaming your “brain problems.” Hahaha, give me a break, Umesh. I may have my flaws, admittedly, but we have to capitalize the word Flawed when referring to you. My narcissism? No worse than yours, man. It’s sort of funny. Do you not find it funny? Admit it, it’s kind of funny.

Trolled.

zzzzzzzz wrote:

Kurt Russell's Beard wrote:

zzzzzzzz wrote:Haarr, I remember when I was 21 maybe when the full realization of death hit me (after years of thinking I was already there and cool with it) and I had trouble sleeping and thinking for a month or two. That's all sorted out, so I just work towards what I want to do, I don't care about getting old or dying, all the people that do cool shit are old and death happens.

All it would take for your self-deception to come crashing around your feet is for another close call to happen, a friend dying, etc. Seriously. Life comes in stages. You'll hit the next one and have more sleepless nights until you find ways to calm yourself. All the people who do cool shit are old? Are you serious? What experiences do you have with the elderly? Fucking christ man. Maybe I'm bitter running all these elderly mobilehome parks but goddamn, the majority of old people are slow and fearful.

I've had two friends die last year, one blew his brains out at the ripe age of 22. I've had a close call at the hospital with my heart almost exploding out of my chest last year from stress. I seriously feel fine about it at this moment, maybe the dread will come back but right now it doesn't seem like it will. Old people: I meant shit like film and music, people doing things I'm interested in, I guess it seems like I'm mostly typing this shit to myself sometimes but thats what I meant.

Damn, sorry to hear about that. Sucks. Sounds like you’re in a good stride.