Generic Business Oriented Website

put the knife back in the drawer, changed the sheets, and slept with the lights off for a change.

Copstache was on a date with at a mexican restaurant when he suddenly grew balls and told her that he didn't appreciate the date. So, took the date and ate it, telling Copstache that the menu had other fruits he could order from. By that time, however, his balls had grown bigger than him, and they had obscured his vision. He was not able to see the menu to order.

Smooth sat motionless in his seat for a few minutes staring into his mirror. This wasn't just any mirror, it was his favorite mirror. A row of four soft-white globes illuminated his soft androgenous features, just like a movie star. He threw a pink feather boa across his shoulders, so it draped across his hairless boy-chest and began putting blood red lipstick on. Tears began to stream down his face as he cried out "God, I just want to be pretty. So pretty." and he smeared the lipstick across his face. Smooth ran his long, skinny fingers along his scalp and gently unclipped his hairpiece, exposing a bald, pale white head. He placed the hair on the table. Then he pealed off his eyebrows, and then his eyelashes. Next he reached inside his nostrils and flipped the hinge and removed the outer portion of his nose. All these were placed next to the hair. He looked into his favorite mirror and asked "mirror mirror *mmpphhh* pfwhows fa phfarist un ev allpht" as he slid his long fingers into his mouth and removed his teeth and his lips. "You are, you are" said the voice from inside the mirror. Smooth reached behind his head and began to peal his head skin off from back to front, exposing a network of metal, neurological sensors and wires. Smooth loved his favorite mirror.


Edit: Friendly Goatus

Wait, why am I banned?! This thread is great! I love fictions! Keep this going!

KRB sat at his desk with a steaming hot cup of coffee in one hand and fumbling his lucky gaming dice in the other. "Sir, please, you don't understand what I've been through to keep this home of mine." "I believe the correct term is mobile home, sir," said KRB with a snarl and a glint of superiority in his eye. "My dog died last week, my mother is sick, she's in the hospital. Dying. And my job laid me off 4 months ago." "Do you own a blu-ray dvd player?" "What?" said the man in the mobile home. "Answer the question!" said KRB as he took a sip from his coffee. "GOD DAMN IT, I JUST BURNT MY LIP!" screamed KRB in a fit of pain, "GAME ON!" KRB cast his dice onto the glistening hard surface of his pressed wood composite desk, leaving the fate of the man to the numbers and wisdom engraved into the dice of doom. "You lose, old man. The dice have decided." KRB takes another sip of coffee and then disconnects the line and moves along to his next victim.

Glass Asshole wrote:KRB sat at his desk with a steaming hot cup of coffee in one hand and fumbling his lucky gaming dice in the other. "Sir, please, you don't understand what I've been through to keep this home of mine." "I believe the correct term is mobile home, sir," said KRB with a snarl and a glint of superiority in his eye. "My dog died last week, my mother is sick, she's in the hospital. Dying. And my job laid me off 4 months ago." "Do you own a blu-ray dvd player?" "What?" said the man in the mobile home. "Answer the question!" said KRB as he took a sip from his coffee. "GOD DAMN IT, I JUST BURNT MY LIP!" screamed KRB in a fit of pain, "GAME ON!" KRB cast his dice onto the glistening hard surface of his pressed wood composite desk, leaving the fate of the man to the numbers and wisdom engraved into the dice of doom. "You lose, old man. The dice have decided." KRB takes another sip of coffee and then disconnects the line and moves along to his next victim.

Hahaha...I'm nearly squirting piss, laughing. And yes, piss that was once coffee. Bitter coffee piss.

KRB swang down from his tree one morning to get ready for work. Once on ground level, he found himself walking yet not going anywhere. He then found himself trapped within an invisible box. Glass Asshole stopped by and placed his purple token into KRB's tip jar that he had forgotten to exchange for prizes at the arcade the day before. Furious, KRB ran up to confront him, but was knocked out by the forgotten box. Glass Asshole pulled out his dick and pissed on him, only to find the piss bouncing back at him.

Smooth does in fact look like a bit of an effeminate, his trolls seem to be highly sensitive and vindictive, he seems well read and clever but is dead set on finding a mate through the internet or cougar bars. More power to him

Mr. Double Blumpkin raises his to the waitress, who happens to be Mari Mar. Mari Mar, while fondling her bra strap, gives Mr. Double Blumpkin a . Mr. Double Blumpkin, with a , begins to Mari Mari's cleavage. Little did he know that a had been sitting right next to him. So they both began . An outsider, , walks in and creates a musical out of his appearance by singing about why Mr. Double Blumpkin and his new uniformed friend are . Mari Mar takes out her leftover from her bossom, looks at it, then gives out a .

Upon slipping the key into the car, a camera man fast-approached with another man in sunglasses, headphones, and a 'NOT A VEGAN' text scrolling about his face. With a microphone, the non-vegan exclaimed, "You are on Surprise Sex!" Camilla's distressed face seemed to have suddenly fixed itself back into solemenity. Roberto popped out from the bushes, followed by another Roberto, then another. All the sudden, the parking lot was flooded with nearly 70 Robertos. Camilla scratched her chin since a mosquito had just bitten her there. The 70 Robertos approached closer with their tighty whities and smirks which were almost bigger than their own faces.

While the non-vegan show host unzipped his pants and began crybating.