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For the longest time, I believed that masturbating would cause your prick to curve, so I learned how to do it ambidextrously, hoping to keep it straight in case I got a girlfriend, so she wouldn't suspect that I masturbated.

I thought women got their period only after getting married (and starting having sex). And then this convo happened once:

- Shaver Krieg: Where are you going
- Krieg's neighbor friend: To the supermarket
- S.K.: What are you buying?
- K.N: (Sanitary) Pads
- S.K: For whom?
- K.N: My sister
- S.K: WHAT????? SHE ALREADY USES THEM?
- K.N: She is married
- S.K: OK, all cool then.

Mari_Mar wrote:For the longest time, I believed that masturbating would cause your prick to curve, so I learned how to do it ambidextrously, hoping to keep it straight in case I got a girlfriend, so she wouldn't suspect that I masturbated.

i thought going down on someone was when you went from sitting kissing to laying down kissing

I thought a period was just one massive gush of blood and not a leak.

Mari_Mar wrote:For the longest time, I believed that masturbating would cause your prick to curve, so I learned how to do it ambidextrously, hoping to keep it straight in case I got a girlfriend, so she wouldn't suspect that I masturbated.

aw

OH! I just remembered that I had the hardest time figuring out how to masturbate because of the international hand signal for whacking it.

I thought that you literally grabbed your wiener, and pulled on it. I remember laying there thinking "this is impossible! The outer skin keeps moving too much! I can't get a grip!" I think it took me like three or four days to actually put two and two together...

I grew up Southern Baptist, and they don't teach you much about sex, except that it's bad and should only be used for procreation. I assumed I would never get laid because I didn't want kids. (boy THAT turned out differently than I had planned)

From Blintzes to Crepes wrote:I grew up Southern Baptist, and they don't teach you much about sex, except that it's bad and should only be used for procreation. I assumed I would never get laid because I didn't want kids. (boy THAT turned out differently than I had planned)

HAHAHAHAHA!

I also thought that semen was essentially the same thing as pee, so imagine my surprise the first time I masturbated and gooey stuff came out. I thought I got some venereal disease from the air. I knew about venereal diseases before I even knew what semen was because all the kids at school liked using them as insults (lots of kids saying each other had "syphilitic dicks" and whatnot). So naturally when other kids who were just as stupid explained that VDs were "gross discharges from your penis", I totally freaked out.

Sex ed started in the 9th grade in my town, haha....so this was about 2 years before that.

I thought the majority of women just became pregnant at some point in their lives while other women simply didn't. So it confused me why the question of "where babies came from" was such a big deal.

An adult told me that sex was a man and a woman playing with each other's private parts. So I pictured a naked woman and a naked man just sitting there flicking and poking each other's genitals. It sounded completely boring to me and I wondered why anyone would want to do that.

I remember walking in on my aunt takin' a piss when I was probably around four. My confused little brain arranged it into a sort of tunnel of hair, shaped like a volcano.

FoL

WHAT THE FUCK

father of lies wrote:I remember walking in on my aunt takin' a piss when I was probably around four. My confused little brain arranged it into a sort of tunnel of hair, shaped like a volcano.

that was no accident...

Aunttiee pEDo

i have never WHAT THE FUCKed more

I thought there was a mountain of fur with an opening, just on top of nothing.

piss caldera,
vulcan69

when i was in like 3rd or 4th grade i was walking to my friends at recess and caught two older kids arguing over whos dick was bigger and was blown away. i had no idea why anyone would ever do that. in my mind it was essentially the same as arguing over whos finger was longer, it was totally pointless to me.

i also thought the blowjob thing and that fingerbanging was when you used your fingers like drumsticks and went john bonham on your dick. yes, your own dick.

once, probably 10 or 11 years old, i found a strange thing next to my bed. it was about the size and shape of a fixing pin. i picked it up and for quite some time i looked at it, then at my dick and wondered if this could be one of those sperms i had heard about. then i decided that it was most likely too big.
never found out what the thing really was.

what's a fixing pin?

thumbtack

copstache wrote:thumbtack

no, looks like this. i couldn't find a better translation than "pin".

yeah that's just a pin

You might call it a stick-pin as well.

this thread

aside from not understanding why someone would do or want a blow job done, i didn't think much of sex until age 10 (beginnings of puberty). at that point, i checked out a bunch of books on puberty and the "facts of life", and learned about sex that way. my parents never taught me about sex and didn't really broach the subject, ever (catholics). in teen magazines, girls were always writing in asking if using a tampon took away their virginity and i remember wondering what they hell they were told at home/by friends, since virginity was really dependent upon a penis being all up in there, not other foreign objects.

i do remember being super paranoid about getting aids when i learned about it (to the point of being convinced i would, whenever i did have sex, because i figured it was "my luck"). i thought the same of breast cancer, since i read that though rare, some young girls can get it. growing up, i was pretty obsessed that i would get diseases (i don't think spending lots of time in hospitals as a kid helped much in that regard).

hana maru wrote:since virginity was really dependent upon a penis being all up in there, not other foreign objects.

Oooooh... It looks like you still have a naivety... What about lesbians who have been sexually active for years with other women, but never had a penis up in there? Would you still consider them virgins?