shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:51 pm
by Necrometer
I've seen this Carach Angren band (geniuses behind my sig gif) open up for more than one band now, and I became convinced that they must have a powerful djinn for a booking agent, but being ever parsimonious and skeptical, I decided to see what the Internet in General thought of these jokers. and they are not only not hated, but somehow they're appreciated/respected. to me, this sounds like reheated Cradle of Filth, but people act like it's actually worth a damn?
here's the album that inspired this question - it's got a 91% on MA with 17 reviews:
i thought maybe the reviews were written by russian troll-bots, but the accounts have plenty of other reviews between them, and only a few are consistently giving out glowing scores.
so I propose a challenge: what is the shittiest record with a 90% or better on MA? all entries are welcome, but ideally there should be >10 reviews, since that's around when popularity-based backlash seems to kick in.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2021 1:32 pm
by Necrometer
?
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:15 pm
by kevin hash
Helluva challenge.
My guess is some album by mushroomhead
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2021 2:00 pm
by Zerohero
If you wanna discuss authentic delta blues, you should definitely check out Blueshammer.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2021 2:34 pm
by Necrometer
kevin hash wrote: βSat Sep 25, 2021 8:15 pmMy guess is some album by mushroomhead
not even permitted on MA because theyβre too false
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2021 12:44 am
by spacehamster
The obvious answer would be the entire Beherit catalog.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:05 am
by kevin hash
Beherit is shitty but kinda fun shitty.
All albums after Drawing Down The Moon are pure trash.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:26 am
by spacehamster
I'm just saying the first time I felt like Metal wasn't really for me anymore was when I noticed a bunch of Americans on the interwebs splooging all over early Beherit because they thought it was some obscure gem that they could score 88 KVLT points a minute with when really they were just these completely incompetent morons that everyone laughed at back in the day because they famously showed up in the studio not knowing how to tune their guitars. I can't imagine anything post-DDtM only exists because of these chodes. But let's not relitigate that. It's just kinda something that proves something for me.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:42 am
by Eight Bit Alien
I couldn't think of a single thing to add to this thread, but reading all that made me think of Vlad Tepes immediately. Then I checked and they really don't have anything UNLISTENABLE with stellar reviews on MA.
The proper winner of this thread has to be some absolute dogshit recording of Danish retards screaming about nothing, but they have some imfamous kvlt reputation (murdered a bank teller for Himmler or something) which granted them scene credibility. I can't think of who, but that's gotta be the recipe.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:44 am
by Eight Bit Alien
This has a 95%, but I really don't hate it. Something neighboring this would be the perfect candidate, I think.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2021 12:22 pm
by Geeheeb
Perenially punching bag Rumpelstiltskin Grinder somewhat fits the bill here punching waaaay above their weight with those review scores:
spacehamster wrote: βMon Sep 27, 2021 11:26 am
I'm just saying the first time I felt like Metal wasn't really for me anymore was when I noticed a bunch of Americans on the interwebs splooging all over early Beherit because they thought it was some obscure gem that they could score 88 KVLT points a minute with when really they were just these completely incompetent morons that everyone laughed at back in the day because they famously showed up in the studio not knowing how to tune their guitars. I can't imagine anything post-DDtM only exists because of these chodes. But let's not relitigate that. It's just kinda something that proves something for me.
that's awesome, in a way its one upping godfathers of can't really play Venom, who didn't tune to pitch, they just tuned to mantis who had tuned by ear to a old kiss record at home he was throwing shapes to and jumping on his race car bed... before showing up to record.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2021 6:53 pm
by kevin hash
spacehamster wrote: βMon Sep 27, 2021 11:26 am
I'm just saying the first time I felt like Metal wasn't really for me anymore was when I noticed a bunch of Americans on the interwebs splooging all over early Beherit because they thought it was some obscure gem that they could score 88 KVLT points a minute with when really they were just these completely incompetent morons that everyone laughed at back in the day because they famously showed up in the studio not knowing how to tune their guitars. I can't imagine anything post-DDtM only exists because of these chodes. But let's not relitigate that. It's just kinda something that proves something for me.
They were doing something new and you Euro snobs just can't handle it. I'd rather listen to DDtM than any of the limp wristed metal that dribbles out of Europe these days.
But....everything post DDtM is totally not Beherit. Totally weak.
No sodomatic slaughter no beherit.
Goat Vulva is the greatest band to ever come out of Europe.
Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?
Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2021 11:59 pm
by spacehamster
kevin hash wrote: βWed Sep 29, 2021 6:53 pm
They were doing something new