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Posted: **Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:51 pm**

I've seen this Carach Angren band (geniuses behind my sig gif) open up for more than one band now, and I became convinced that they must have a powerful djinn for a booking agent, but being ever parsimonious and skeptical, I decided to see what the Internet in General thought of these jokers. and they are not only not hated, but somehow they're appreciated/respected. to me, this sounds like reheated Cradle of Filth, but people act like it's actually worth a damn?

here's the album that inspired this question - it's got a 91% on MA with 17 reviews:

i thought maybe the reviews were written by russian troll-bots, but the accounts have plenty of other reviews between them, and only a few are consistently giving out glowing scores.

so I propose a challenge: what is the shittiest record with a 90% or better on MA? all entries are welcome, but ideally there should be >10 reviews, since that's around when popularity-based backlash seems to kick in.

Posted: **Sat Sep 25, 2021 1:32 pm**

Posted: **Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:15 pm**

Helluva challenge.

My guess is some album by mushroomhead

Posted: **Sun Sep 26, 2021 2:00 pm**

If you wanna discuss authentic delta blues, you should definitely check out Blueshammer.

Posted: **Sun Sep 26, 2021 2:34 pm**

kevin hash wrote: ↑Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:15 pmMy guess is some album by mushroomhead

not even permitted on MA because they’re too false

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 12:44 am**

The obvious answer would be the entire Beherit catalog.

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:05 am**

Beherit is shitty but kinda fun shitty.

All albums after Drawing Down The Moon are pure trash.

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:26 am**

I'm just saying the first time I felt like Metal wasn't really for me anymore was when I noticed a bunch of Americans on the interwebs splooging all over early Beherit because they thought it was some obscure gem that they could score 88 KVLT points a minute with when really they were just these completely incompetent morons that everyone laughed at back in the day because they famously showed up in the studio not knowing how to tune their guitars. I can't imagine anything post-DDtM only exists because of these chodes. But let's not relitigate that. It's just kinda something that proves something for me.

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:42 am**

I couldn't think of a single thing to add to this thread, but reading all that made me think of Vlad Tepes immediately. Then I checked and they really don't have anything UNLISTENABLE with stellar reviews on MA.

The proper winner of this thread has to be some absolute dogshit recording of Danish retards screaming about nothing, but they have some imfamous kvlt reputation (murdered a bank teller for Himmler or something) which granted them scene credibility. I can't think of who, but that's gotta be the recipe.

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:44 am**

This has a 95%, but I really don't hate it. Something neighboring this would be the perfect candidate, I think.

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 12:22 pm**

Perenially punching bag Rumpelstiltskin Grinder somewhat fits the bill here punching waaaay above their weight with those review scores:

https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Ru ... nder/27693

I realize that is a cheap shot and will have to give this some actual though.

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 12:49 pm**

Eight Bit Alien wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:44 am

This has a 95%, but I really don't hate it. Something neighboring this would be the perfect candidate, I think.

Love vlad Teepees

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 12:51 pm**

I saw what one of the dudes from that band....he looks like a total dad.

Should have stayed hidden. Cred blown.

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 5:25 pm**

burzum

hehe

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 5:48 pm**

featherboa wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 5:25 pm burzum

hehe

Post-prison theres absolutely no argument, that shit is fucking retarded.

early stuff I will definitely go to bat for, artistically valid

Posted: **Mon Sep 27, 2021 7:28 pm**

Eight Bit Alien wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 5:48 pm
featherboa wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 5:25 pm burzum

hehe
Post-prison theres absolutely no argument, that shit is fucking retarded.

early stuff I will definitely go to bat for, artistically valid

The fact that he's put out as much shit as he has since prison pretty much negates any greatness he had generated during the stabby burny years.

Posted: **Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:46 pm**

kevin hash wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:05 am Beherit is shitty but kinda fun shitty.

All albums after Drawing Down The Moon are pure trash.

Drawing down the poon

Posted: **Tue Sep 28, 2021 7:01 pm**

I assumed FFDP but they're apparently too false.
Never knew this site did ratings.

Posted: **Wed Sep 29, 2021 12:26 am**

Five Finger Burzum Bunz.

Posted: **Wed Sep 29, 2021 7:53 am**

Eight Bit Alien wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 5:48 pm
featherboa wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 5:25 pm burzum

hehe
Post-prison theres absolutely no argument, that shit is fucking retarded.

early stuff I will definitely go to bat for, artistically valid

Both Fallen and Belus are great.

Posted: **Wed Sep 29, 2021 11:15 am**

I have friends who say the same, I suppose I am a grouch.

Posted: **Wed Sep 29, 2021 5:10 pm**

Posted: **Wed Sep 29, 2021 5:11 pm**

Zerohero wrote: ↑Wed Sep 29, 2021 5:10 pm
spacehamster wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:26 am I'm just saying the first time I felt like Metal wasn't really for me anymore was when I noticed a bunch of Americans on the interwebs splooging all over early Beherit because they thought it was some obscure gem that they could score 88 KVLT points a minute with when really they were just these completely incompetent morons that everyone laughed at back in the day because they famously showed up in the studio not knowing how to tune their guitars. I can't imagine anything post-DDtM only exists because of these chodes. But let's not relitigate that. It's just kinda something that proves something for me.
that's awesome, in a way its one upping godfathers of can't really play Venom, who didn't tune to pitch, they just tuned to mantis who had tuned by ear to a old kiss record at home he was throwing shapes to and jumping on his race car bed... before showing up to record.

Posted: **Wed Sep 29, 2021 6:53 pm**

spacehamster wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:26 am I'm just saying the first time I felt like Metal wasn't really for me anymore was when I noticed a bunch of Americans on the interwebs splooging all over early Beherit because they thought it was some obscure gem that they could score 88 KVLT points a minute with when really they were just these completely incompetent morons that everyone laughed at back in the day because they famously showed up in the studio not knowing how to tune their guitars. I can't imagine anything post-DDtM only exists because of these chodes. But let's not relitigate that. It's just kinda something that proves something for me.

They were doing something new and you Euro snobs just can't handle it. I'd rather listen to DDtM than any of the limp wristed metal that dribbles out of Europe these days.

But....everything post DDtM is totally not Beherit. Totally weak.

No sodomatic slaughter no beherit.

Goat Vulva is the greatest band to ever come out of Europe.

Posted: **Wed Sep 29, 2021 11:59 pm**

kevin hash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 29, 2021 6:53 pm
They were doing something new

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shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

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Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?

Re: shittiest album on Metal Archives with the best reviews ?