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daddy issues the cliche thing for women

does anyone know a guy who was raised without a mom?

not trying to undermine the poll, which may well bear fruit - just a tangential thing I've thought about

Photographic evidence that I indeed had a Father - here he is at 20 cleaning his M-60 in Vietnam

damn dude

Key word: "Had." Lung cancer, 2014.

Necrometer wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 11:47 am daddy issues the cliche thing for women

does anyone know a guy who was raised without a mom?

"Raised without" might be a stretch but my roommate for 3 out of my 4 years in college had an alcoholic mom who was basically a shut-in and his dad basically raised him solo even though they were all in the house together. He had his own substance problems and got into a lot of trouble at school and didn't graduate on time. Great guy, but a lot of sadness inside.

godofdeadlydeath wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 1:07 pm Key word: "Had." Lung cancer, 2014.

My pops passed from lung cancer in 2006. It was rather sudden though and I only found out about the cancer after he had died.

Hunter wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 1:56 pm

godofdeadlydeath wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 1:07 pm Key word: "Had." Lung cancer, 2014.

My pops passed from lung cancer in 2006. It was rather sudden though and I only found out about the cancer after he had died.

Sorry to hear that. Mine had a decent run. He was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2010, got treated for that and it eventually went away, but then in 2011 he was coughing blood and they discovered a mass in his lung. He had surgery and underwent chemo and radiation for a while, then eventually another surgery. He lived about 3 years fighting it but the last month or so was real shitty. He lived long enough to see his first grandchild, my autistic son, who was born 6 weeks before he died. He was healthy enough to drive himself to the hospital to visit us a couple of times that week, but about a week or 2 after they said they were going to stop treatment and he died a few weeks after that.

godofdeadlydeath wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:02 pm

Hunter wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 1:56 pm

godofdeadlydeath wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 1:07 pm Key word: "Had." Lung cancer, 2014.

My pops passed from lung cancer in 2006. It was rather sudden though and I only found out about the cancer after he had died.

Sorry to hear that. Mine had a decent run. He was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2010, got treated for that and it eventually went away, but then in 2011 he was coughing blood and they discovered a mass in his lung. He had surgery and underwent chemo and radiation for a while, then eventually another surgery. He lived about 3 years fighting it but the last month or so was real shitty. He lived long enough to see his first grandchild, my autistic son, who was born 6 weeks before he died. He was healthy enough to drive himself to the hospital to visit us a couple of times that week, but about a week or 2 after they said they were going to stop treatment and he died a few weeks after that.

Sorry man, that's rough... Nothing really prepares you for the loss of your father. I have a friend who still calls me every once in a while to talk about it, despite his pops passing over a year and a half ago. Even after you come to terms with parents being humans who fuck up like everyone else, a father dying can easily bring your own mortality to the forefront of anxieties. I've heard it described as not something you need to get over, but something you learn to live with, and it's been true in my experience.

Cancer is a motherfucker. Probably not as bad as dementia, but bad.
Got kids now, and am terrified of dying on them too early.

Dad is harder to think about than my mom...but when I lost my mom it was fucking devastating.
Dad's death just became a job, to clean out the house, and close out his estate.
Assuming they own real estate, pro tip: get a home appraisal upon their death.
Even better: convince them to get a beneficiary deed, before they're gone...if it's available in your state.

I have a dad. He's gay and retarded.
Im proud to be gay with my dad.

That dad's name?

Dr. Jordan Peterson...

Eight Bit Alien wrote: ↑Tue Jan 26, 2021 4:05 am I have a dad. He's gay and retarded.
Im proud to be gay with my dad.

That dad's name?

Dr. Jordan Peterson...

Actual lol.

My dad is a super man. He is everything as useful to the world as I am useless - carpenter by trade, kind, patient, amazing grandad to my kids. Very lucky.

Hunter wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:14 pm

godofdeadlydeath wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:02 pm

Hunter wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 1:56 pm

godofdeadlydeath wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 1:07 pm Key word: "Had." Lung cancer, 2014.

My pops passed from lung cancer in 2006. It was rather sudden though and I only found out about the cancer after he had died.

Sorry to hear that. Mine had a decent run. He was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2010, got treated for that and it eventually went away, but then in 2011 he was coughing blood and they discovered a mass in his lung. He had surgery and underwent chemo and radiation for a while, then eventually another surgery. He lived about 3 years fighting it but the last month or so was real shitty. He lived long enough to see his first grandchild, my autistic son, who was born 6 weeks before he died. He was healthy enough to drive himself to the hospital to visit us a couple of times that week, but about a week or 2 after they said they were going to stop treatment and he died a few weeks after that.

Sorry man, that's rough... Nothing really prepares you for the loss of your father. I have a friend who still calls me every once in a while to talk about it, despite his pops passing over a year and a half ago. Even after you come to terms with parents being humans who fuck up like everyone else, a father dying can easily bring your own mortality to the forefront of anxieties. I've heard it described as not something you need to get over, but something you learn to live with, and it's been true in my experience.

my autistic son is 6 now and I have a daughter who's about to turn 3. The thing I miss most about my dad was getting to pick his brain about being a parent and how he felt. For those 6 months before my autistic son was born, he LOVED talking about what he remembered about expecting my brother and later me. What I wouldn't give to just call him and talk to him more about the shit that has come up in my life in the 7 years since he passed. He had some issues - had gotten sober when I was 5-6, gambled at times, definite OCD esque tendencies and anxiety disorder undiagnosed - and I wish I could talk to him about how I've had some similar struggles in my adult life.

And you're absolutely right, I never got over it. I learn to live with the loss, but certain times of year it becomes really really hard. His birthday is right before Christmas and I just haven't had much joy other than the joy I get to give to my kids around that time of year. I'm not so much worried about my own mortality, luckily, but I just wish I had him around.

Necrophilic Mallard wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 6:16 pm Cancer is a motherfucker. Probably not as bad as dementia, but bad.
Got kids now, and am terrified of dying on them too early.

Dad is harder to think about than my mom...but when I lost my mom it was fucking devastating.
Dad's death just became a job, to clean out the house, and close out his estate.
Assuming they own real estate, pro tip: get a home appraisal upon their death.
Even better: convince them to get a beneficiary deed, before they're gone...if it's available in your state.

I can't even imagine dementia in a loved one. It would be truly heartbreaking. And I wasn't nearly as close to my dad as I still am to my mom. She currently has a type of non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma but it's not growing and they're basically going to scan her every 6 months and treat it chronically as needed. She's 67 now but I'm hoping she can live at least another 10 good years. She's just been going through a lot over the last 15 years or so. In 2008 her only brother, my only uncle, died at 49. That sent my grandmother into a tailspin and within a year of that she was dead at 83. A year after THAT, my dad was diagnosed with breast cancer. A year after THAT, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. And 3 years later he died. She has no siblings, no parents, just me and my brother and our kids now.

Luckily, she's great with taking care of her affairs and had all the deeds and wills and shit signed before my dad passed. I'm not nearly as well put together or organized as she is. Thank you for the advice and I'm sorry for your losses.