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If you can beat someone up with cum in your mouth you get to be president of America

1993. A time of darkness.
Rain pours down on the city. My apartment window. I light a cigarette and give up on sleep for another hour.

When did this mess all start? When that dame with the long stems and troubled eyes walked through my office door and offered me two tickets to the Mortician show in Boston? Or was it later that week when the Rahmer boys tuned me up for asking quiet questions in a loud bar?

I put the cigarette out on my limp dick. Pulled the sheets back up and said a prayer to S.L. Himmler for a few hours of sleep. Solo Hetfield, solo Hanneman - so low, so long, goodnight.

Then a UFO blew my dick up with dynamite

I still love jacking off just as much now as I did when I was 12.

kevin hash wrote: ↑Sun Nov 21, 2021 12:40 am I still love jacking off just as much now as I did when I was 12.

I think I'm also better at it now.

what if this was the last thread ever posted on the board

I was attending the international farting contest and convention by jack koshick, when 10 garden weasals showed up and jacked off on my birthday cake. Sister Mary Fred popped out of the cake and said "OH NOE! You weasals forgot to wash your weasal dicks before this ambush. I say double drat on yous". Befuddled, a nordic nomad said, I must be in the wrong place. He dropped his drawers and sounding the game winning fart. Coated in weasal cum.

Now your humble narrator asks you, the reader: How did that weasal cum get there?

5olo Eichman. 5olo Holt.

ghosts spanked off the weasel pricks

case close

sherlock home

FVBTVS wrote: ↑Sun Nov 21, 2021 8:11 am what if this was the last thread ever posted on the board

Bustin...

FVBTVS wrote: ↑Sun Nov 21, 2021 8:11 am what if this was the last thread ever posted on the board

better than the joke thread.

i wasnt throwing shade i was saying 'what if' like a marvel comic what if

who has cum AND poop in mouth right now?

MPD wrote: ↑Sun Nov 21, 2021 11:07 pm

FVBTVS wrote: ↑Sun Nov 21, 2021 8:11 am what if this was the last thread ever posted on the board

better than the joke thread.

Fuck that.

The joke thread is where the real men play.

REAL MEN

I BROKE MY ARM EATING PUSSY

Bitch

I used to love getting slutty fat girl blowjobs.

Fat broads know how to suck dick.

Eight Bit Alien wrote: ↑Mon Nov 22, 2021 5:21 pm I BROKE MY ARM EATING PUSSY

I’ve hurt my frenulum.

what do you mens means this is a joke thread?

next thread should be okay too.

What do you get when you combine the ruins of a 25 year old message board and an “underground” record label that completely abandons you?

YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE

why did you post that video

I wonder what Kat Shevil is doing right now?

Dicks in the rump?

Meth?

Cum?